first stitch෴

[aboutwhynot]

Goood morning students~ I would just like to take this opportunity to say hello, I’m Professor Stein and I’m going to be your new Divination teacher when you all return from break. I realize it’s an elective, and a useless-sounding one at that, but it’s going to be a very interesting class, I’m sure, and I’d love to have a feeew more students sign up for it. [Because hey, the more students you have signed up for your useless class, the more you get paid]

I don’t want to threaten anyone, but other classes at that time slot are going to be much more difficult. This will be an excellent chance for everyone to relax, drink some tea, and make predictions about your friends’ no doubt very painful deaths.

Think about it~

Comments

[redearphones]

I probably wouldn't be friends with them anymore if I started predicting their deaths, Professor.

[aboutwhynot]

Then clearly you need friends with a bit more self-assurance and backbone.

[redearphones]

That's a great suggestion, but I like the friends I have so I think I'll keep them. I do like tea, though, and reading tea leaves! So I'll be there.

[aboutwhynot]

Oh good! Now I have a student to teach. Invite your friends, we'll have tea parties every class.

[redearphones]

I guess then we'll have to keep a tally of how many deaths are predicted per party!

[aboutwhynot]

What do you mean "we"? That's clearly your homework assignment, young lady.

[redearphones]

A special assignment already? Blimey, Professor, you're spoiling me!

[aboutwhynot]

And I'm sure there will be plenty more very special assignments for you in the future~

[redearphones]

Do I get extra credit if I predict them before they happen?

[aboutwhynot]

I doubt you'll be able to; I'm a very unpredictable sort of man, after all.

[redearphones]

That's a yes. Challenge accepted, Professor.

[aboutwhynot]

Good luck. You're going to need it~

[animalmagnetism]

{>Hello there fellow professor!<}

[Yeah, those sure are some pixie wings sketched around his words.]

[aboutwhynot]

[How manry!]

You might want to be careful just in case that sentence decides to fly away on you. Never know what kind of havoc that might wreck on the whole school.

[animalmagnetism]

{>Excellent idea!<}
{>I should do that sometime.<}

[aboutwhynot]

My first unfortunate prediction and it's going to come true. Clearly they picked the right man for the Divination job.

Now let's see if I can guess what your position is... The wings, the joy at the thought of words flying around... Why of course! You teach Potions, don't you?

[animalmagnetism]

{>How could you have me so well pegged so soon?<}
{>You are obviously the best divination teacher!<}

[aboutwhynot]

Shhh, not so loud. You keep saying things like that and I might not ever move to a different position. Or get fired. Either one works.

[animalmagnetism]

{>Haha! Oops!<}
{>I'll keep that fact quiet from now on.<}
{>Good luck job hunting!<}

[aboutwhynot]

Usually I'd say I don't need the luck because I have skill, but clearly with the way teaching jobs work around this place, I need the luck too. So thank you.

[animalmagnetism]

{>I can think of worse positions than Divination.<}
{>But you're welcome.<}

[aboutwhynot]

Oh this'll be good. What's worse?

[animalmagnetism]

{>History by far!<}
{>Though Transfiguration would be an exercise in constant frustration probably.<}
{>It's one of the trickier subjects for kids to master.<}

[aboutwhynot]

But Transfiguration is just so fascinating. Some of my classmates when I went to school here were pretty talented in it, and I wouldn't mind helping that talent blossom. Of course I wasn't so great at it, so I wouldn't really get that job anyway.

You're definitely onto something with History, though. That sounds like torture immeasurable.

[animalmagnetism]

{>I wasn't so great at it either.<}
{>I remember frustrating my teacher with my lack of skill and I wasn't the only one!<}
{>So I imagine teaching Transfiguration would be frustrating.<}

[aboutwhynot]

I'd probably just have to stick to theory, to save the students from me getting frustrated and my horrible attempts at turning a bee into a thimble. And what a boring class that would be. Possibly even more boring than Divination!

[ohmygodshoes]

Oh damn, you can predict when people die?

I didn't know that. How did I not know that? Sign me up.

[aboutwhynot]

I don't think I'm allowed to turn students down without a good reason, so... Welcome aboard!

[ohmygodshoes]

... Wait a sec, are you telling me that if you could turn me down, that you'd do it?

[aboutwhynot]

No. Of course not. I would love to have you in my class. You promise to be my favorite student. I am excited.

Oh that last one probably should have been an exclamation point. "I am excited!" Yes, that looks more believable.

[ohmygodshoes]

You know what?

Even though you're obviously being a sarcastic asshole (no offense), I'm not even gonna get upset about it! Because I wanna learn how to predict death and you're the only one around here who knows how.

[aboutwhynot]

No offense taken, I'm more than willing to admit I'm a sarcastic asshole.

But if you want to learn Divination, I guess I'm your man. To be serious for a second, welcome to the class.