(no subject)

[moveslikejaeger]

van is a butt
he is my butt now but he is still a butt
i just thought you all should know

Comments

[mo_cara]

[Yeah, okay, totally calling Maxim's cell for this.]

[moveslikejaeger]

[Guess he should probably get off Van's lap and take this, huh?]

[His name totally shows up as "gamzs sexy butt" on his cell, btw]

Gamzeeeeeee. [whine] Van iz a butt! He iz a beeg, fat, thunder stealink butt.

[mo_cara]

Damn, bro, that ain't no way to be talking about the dude you been trying to get for ... motherfuckin' ever, I guess! [sounds both amused and cheerful]

[moveslikejaeger]

Hy haff not been tryink to get him! Ve chust kind ov... alvays been? [Maxim's still kind of pouting. Because he can be. Also he's kind of scared about this, but he's trying not to let it show] Vhateffer, Hy ken tok 'bout him howeffer Hy vants. He iz my butt now. Ve are butt buddies.

[mo_cara]

Already? Wow, you move motherfuckin' speedy. [Impressed!] How'd you all even figure that shit out, finally?

[moveslikejaeger]

....Not like dot, Gamzee. [Sigh. He leans against the side of the cafe, twirling a bit of hair around his finger] Vell, after Hy got beck from England, ve sat down und tokked. About dot post hyu made, und de tings Hy said. Und he said he vanted to date me a leedle.

[mo_cara]

Because of the shit you been saying? [considers] 'Cause you was being all cool and a real good bro and like that?

[moveslikejaeger]

Man, no! He don' tink Hy'm cool at all! He tinks Hy'm terrible! Ve tokked about de fact dot Hy'ff... hyu know. Jerked it to him. Und dot he deed de same to me. [And then he blushed a little, biting his lip. Not that Gamzee could see it, but that Van thought of him that way, just... made him all fluttery inside]

[mo_cara]

Oh. [pauses, then clears his throat] I don't think he's the kind of motherfucker what would go with anyone if he thought they were all being awful and shit. I mean, you been friends since you was wigglers, right?

[another pause] That's pretty sweet that you both was jerking off thinking of each other, though. [So romantic!]

[hairflyingheartpounding]

Oh... Congratulations, Maxim.

[The indents in the page are kind of deep, as if she might be writing a bit... Forcefully.]

[ladyliberty]

You know, I could have sworn you were into the ladies.

I guess this means your offer is rescinded?

[moveslikejaeger]

[Maxim is not the type to inkblot so when the page is covered in them it's sort of telling. It's just that oh, and the way the page is messed up and oh god he wants to take everything back and flee to forever being single.]

[Yes, this is a good plan, clearly bachelorhood is preferable to breaking hearts, he is every bit as terrible as Van says he is]

[What does he even say? Curse being countries apart, if he was there he would cling to her and not want to let go. In the end, he just goes for a small and shaky]

thk u

[moveslikejaeger]

a lot of people say that but yeah i kind of really dont have a prefference i love all people differently

um consider it on the shelf? i have no idea how long this is going to last

[ladyliberty]

Well good luck, buddy. Let me know how that monogamy works out for you.

[filtered]

[moveslikejaeger]

kind of regretting it already

i mean i love van i really do i just

i have no idea what im doing

im terrible

u_u

[filtered]

[ladyliberty]

Like he does? You'll be fine, no worries.

[hairflyingheartpounding]

[Is she that transparent? The inkblots make her sigh; yes, they're telling, indeed.]

You're welcome. I hope you guys are happy.

[moveslikejaeger]

[It doesn't help that he's so very sure he's going to be awful at this. Mostly because-]

i still want to
you know
be your knight in shining armor and stuff
this doesnt really change anything about how i feel

[filtered]

[moveslikejaeger]

he seems to have a better idea actually but thats probably something he doesnt want me sharing

[hairflyingheartpounding]

What? How do you feel, then?

You're not making sense.

[moveslikejaeger]

Dot's... [He sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose] Dot's not vhat he means. He means Hy em a terrible flirt und Hy ken't keep it in my pents. Vhich iz true. Hy ken't. Hy ken't at all.

[filtered]

[ladyliberty]

Well, there's a surprise.

Anyhow just be yourself. Only not too yourself, because cheating is frowned upon.

[moveslikejaeger]

[Those inkblots from before have now splattered into the shape of a forehead. Yes, he did just smack his head against the book and made a mess. Wow that was dumb, he needs a minute to clean up before he can reply]

its like
your a princess in a tower and i want to rescu you and take you on all kinds of adventures with me and then hold you tight at night beneath the stars
does that make sense?

[hairflyingheartpounding]

No.

It doesn't, and I'm not available for being held, okay?

[filtered]

[moveslikejaeger]

......................

:I