(no subject)

[arachnoble]

I'm not going to bother informing you that school is close. I'm certain you're all very aware of that fact, and no, I'm not assigning any last minute work. Even if I would greatly appreciate it if you arrive at school at least having read the first chapter of your books.

I do have an announcement, however.

Dumbledore has recently informed me that I have been granted the position as Slytherin Head of House. It's not unexpected, seeing as I'm the best option, but I'm pleased all the same.

[The next bit is filtered to just Vriska.]

I've got all your books and other supplies, as well as some new robes waiting at our home. I also got Nicholas a new terrarium.

And I have a few spare eyepatches if you want one.

Comments

[nomorals]

Congratulations, Professor.

[arachnoble]

Thank you, Miss Abadeer.

[dou8letrou8le]

Congr8tul8tions
M8y8e you won't 8e half-8ad at it.

[Filter]
You didn't have to
You could have just m8de me go out
She's spoiled enough as it is.
8ut thank you.

[arachnoble]

We'll see.

[filter]

I know I didn't have to, but I did. It's in the living room.

[thegluethatbinds]

Congratulations, Professor Matteris.

[arachnoble]

Thank you.

You don't need to be so formal, though.

Filtered

[wwistful]

Who else did you have to shag to get that position?

[Fuck. fuck. Didn't mean to say else, but the strike comes a little bit late.]

Filtered

[arachnoble]

So you believe the only reason I'm eligible for this position is my body.

And that I have no other merits.

[ladyliberty]

So the Head of Slytherin always writes in blue ink, and the Head of Hufflepuff always writes in green ink. It's all messed up and backwards.

At least our Head of House knows where it's at.

[doctorkishitani]

I didn't think the heads of houses were meant to write in house colours.
Professor Mercer just writes in black.

[arachnoble]

Yes, because color preferences are solely based on Houses. How silly of me.

[glaringprotego]

I like green.
Beside, Sal claimed red, I claimed green and Artollo claimed yellow, back when we were in school. It would be so confusing to switch to yellow now

filtered;

[quasistellar]

Ah, so I see that the trick to it is relentlessly bullying a fellow staff member's child to the point of death threats and antagonizing everyone? If the rumours are to be believed, you either antagonize the staff or take them to bed with you. Now, I'm not saying I've not done my fair share of antagonizing staff, but I wouldn't sink so low as to bully a child I'm meant to be mentoring.

filtered;

[arachnoble]

Apparently so.

If you're trying to get a rise out of me, you're doing a poor job.

[strongjumps]

D --> Congratulations, Professor.

[arachnoble]

Thank you, Zahhak.

I do hope you can avoid breaking things in the common room.

[allisnotlost]

oh fuck no

oh
congratulations

[Ahaha you did a piss poor attempt to hide that, Eridan.]

[arachnoble]

Your enthusiasm is most welcomed, Ampora.

[glaringprotego]

Congratulations Professor Matteris. Should I lend you my ink for the year?

[arachnoble]

Thank you, and I'll be quite fine without it.

[cantstarvethisfire]

Are you going to talk to each of us about our feelings?

Oh, congratulations too.

[arachnoble]

More about how you're going to get anywhere in the world and not screw up your lives than your feelings.

Thank you, Miss Everdeen.

[taleweaving]

Congratulations Professor.

...If you don't mind me asking, how is Vriska doing?

[arachnoble]

Thank you.

She...is improving. As much as someone can improve in so little time.

[Voice]

[just1c3w1tch]

Congratulations, Professor! I hope your term will be evenhanded and just.

[text]

[arachnoble]

Thank you for the vote of confidence, Pyrope.

[seeringlight]

It only makes sense that the most qualified of Slytherin professors were chosen to head such a respectful house. I am not at all surprised of your new rank.
I look forward to the upcoming school year more than ever, now.

[arachnoble]

I must congratulate you. Not everyone can blur the lines between sincerity and sarcasm so much so that the true intent is lost.

[coffeewithtea]

I guess I will say congratulation. Yay~☆

[arachnoble]

Thank you, Mister Wong.

[rule_britannia]

Congratulations, professor.

[arachnoble]

Thank you, Kirkland.

I'm certain I can expect no surprises from you?