sortinghat_rp | Journal Entry #5

[The smile that breaks over Gamzee's features as he sees the offered hand is so sweet and earnest and raw as to be almost painful. He folds his big hand into the smaller boy's, squeezing warmly, and then starting with him towards the doors. It's not until they're out of the noise and bustle of the Hall that he finally says anything, though.]

I'm glad you wanted to be talking to me. I, um. Was hoping you didn't think I be saying all that shit at the party because I was high. Because I didn't. I mean, I was motherfuckin' high! But I didn't make nothing up or anything.

[Shinra smiles right back, happily returning the hand-squeeze as they make their way out of the Hall and into the corridors. He looks down somewhat sheepishly as Gamzee speaks.]

Admittedly, I did at first. But I did realize that I was wrong about that fairly quickly.

[He looks up at Gamzee, smiling pensively once again.]

Because you were right. Everything you said was beautifully insightful.

[The older boy looks back, blinking.] Yeah? 'Cause I was just saying what was up in my pump biscuit.

[He's quiet for a moment, then ventures, as they head down the corridor toward the outside of the castle-] So what did you be meaning about it being a relief, exactly?

[Shinra beams at that]

That's exactly what I was talking about at the party. You have an almost preternatural ability to say the most incredibly insightful things without even really thinking about it! It's fascinating!

[He then pauses for a moment, contemplating how to answer Gamzee's question.]

I suppose I mentioned this before, but I was starting to wonder if I was... for lack of a better term, romantically defective. But now that I think on it, it was just like the sense of incompletion we talked about. Or like the things that sometimes seem to escape your mind. So I don't think I ever really was defective. It just felt as if I was because didn't know what to look for.

I never thought you were defective. [squeezing Shinra's hand, then shifting his grip so their fingers lace together] You just take some time to wrap your pan around shit, because you got to be looking at all angles and shapes and sides. I like that about you.

[pausing, then looks back down at Shinra, suddenly nervous again, despite the fact that the boy he likes is holding his hand - it may not seem likely that the Ravenclaw's going to start gushing about someone else, but ... what if he's wrong?]

So you found what you been looking all around for?

[He laughs softly.] All things considered, I'm very glad you didn't think that.

[He then looks up, meeting Gamzee's gaze with a half smile.]

You said so yourself, although admittedly, you were intoxicated at the time, but looking back, I don't think it makes it any less true. We do fit and I'm still not sure of why but I don't think I really need to be. So, I think it is safe to say that I have found what I should have been looking for.

Oh. [The sound spills helplessly from Gamzee's mouth and he stops in his tracks, very nearly tripping over his own feet and just staring down at the other boy, pink rushing up into his cheeks. Gamzee's pretty sure no one has ever said anything like that to him before - he's never been what anyone was looking for. How could he be?]

Oh, motherfuck.

[He reaches out and grabs Shinra's other hand, not caring at all in the moment if anyone's around to see, and then holding both he moves so that he's facing the Ravenclaw. His neck is bent to stare down at him with wide, dark eyes, his heart beating somewhere up around the vicinity of his throat. Shinra's face is his entire world in that moment - there can't possibly be anything else that matters.]

You really mean that? You're ... for real, you're wanting to be with me?

[He can't keep himself from grinning up at the other boy as he takes his hands and moves to face him. His gaze is locked on Gamzee's, even as he tilts his head somewhat inquisitively.]

Of course I do. Isn't that what I said on Saturday? Although I suppose I did say it in many more words. And with quite a few metaphors, but that was what I was hoping to say. But that is what I meant.

[He squeezes Gamzee's hands, his smile becoming slightly knowing as he leans in ever so slightly.]

You did mean to say the same thing, didn't you?

Hell yes! [The words are almost yelped - if Gamzee's voice hadn't changed last year or so it might have cracked on them, so great is his desire to get them out.]

I just ... I didn't be knowing if you meant as friends, or ... or you know, like boyfriends. [The taller boy feels almost dizzy, like when he's held his breath for a long time. In a way, that's what he's been doing, really.

He gently lets go of Shinra's hands, raising them to slide his fingers along the Ravenclaw's cheeks, up to his temples, practically cupping the other boy's face in his hands as he leans over to be only inches away.]

I'm sorry, but I think I gotta be motherfuckin' kissing you now. [solemnly, and then he gives Shinra a heartbeat or two to object before he leans in and presses his lips against the other boy's, heart fluttering wildly]

Edited 2012-09-19 08:19 (UTC)

[Shinra's smile becomes almost giddy as Gamzee takes his face in his hands, but his gaze remains intently focused- not leaving the other boy's eyes for a moment- and he nods solemnly as Gamzee leans in to kiss him. He then closes his eyes, taking a moment to really absorb all the different sensations -and really, everything about this moment- before leaning up into the kiss and quickly moving to wind his arms around Gamzee's waist.]

[This is ... different, than all the times he's casually made out with Maxim. Or the one time he kissed Arthur, just to let the other boy see what it was like. Different than anything he's done when he's high. Partially because Shinra's never done it before, and a part of him feels fiercely protective of this moment and making it right for the Ravenclaw, and partially because he's worried himself about making a good impression, about impressing this boy that wants so desperately to like him back.

And partially because Gamzee wants it so bad, has for awhile.

One hand slips to the back of Shinra's neck, fingers tangling with the short hairs there, and he moves his lips gently, resisting the urge to immediately try to stick his tongue in the smaller boy's mouth. Instead he just shifts minutely, finding the ways their mouth can fit together in increments, or at least for as long as the Ravenclaw will let him.]

[If Shinra hadn't been convinced that all the theories they'd discussed at the party were true, he would be now because everything about this was right. They really did fit and he wasn't sure if it was because of him making sense of Gamzee's fragments or Gamzee making sense of everything he'd thought was defective about him. Or maybe sense didn't factor into any of this. Whatever the case, this was right and that was really all that mattered.

He tilts his head slightly in response to Gamzee's shifting -trying to help him to find the right positioning, whatever that happens to be- and exhales slowly and almost blissfully as the other boy's hand finds its way to the back of his neck. His arms constrict around the Slytherin's waist, pulling him just a bit closer.]

[The slight tug pulls Gamzee up against the smaller boy's body, making him have to bend a little more to keep lip contact, but that's okay, because he's bendy, and this is really, really good. His lips half part as they kiss, because really, it all felt right as long as their noses and teeth weren't banging together.

But he finally breaks off before his tongue finds its way into Shinra's mouth - he's not sure if you're supposed to get hot and heavy on your first kiss with someone, no matter how much you want to. He stays close, though, pressing his forehead against the smaller boy's, his thumb stroking along one cheekbone.]

Wow.

[Shinra keeps his arms wrapped around Gamzee's waist as the Slytherin pulls back and looks up at him in an unguarded state of glee and reverence. He tilts his head once again as the other boy's thumb makes its way across his cheekbone, leaning into the touch in an almost catlike manner.]

You really are fascinating on so many levels.

[Gamzee laughs, softly, because in that moment it almost feels like they're in a church, or a library, somewhere you have to be respectful and awed - but he's too happy not to. He sort of feels like maybe his heart is going to spring a leak, it's so full right now.]

You just like kissing. Told you it could be motherfuckin' good. [He traces the line of Shinra's jaw with his thumb then, liking the way the other boy moves into it. He feels like he's doing something right, to see that smile, and that's not a common feeling for a boy who often drifts through life, not quite knowing which way is up or down.]

[He closes his eyes for a moment, emitting a quiet, contented hum as Gamzee traces over his jawline.]

That isn't it at all. If it was just kissing, it wouldn't matter. This is like having that epiphany all over again. That could be what`s happening. It might be possible to have an epiphany more than once if it happens on a different level each time. Whatever the case, this is definitely exceptional.

[And with that, he constricts his arms just a bit more as he leans up to press his lips against Gamzee's once again.]

[Oh, yeah, that's ... mmm. An epiphany, that's a good way to put it, because Gamzee's not sure kissing has ever been quite like this, not just exciting, but so unbearably sweet, too, like Christmas is sometimes. Better than just fooling around with friends, because the way Shinra looks at him makes him feel a little bit like there's no one else in the whole world, and who wouldn't want that?

Without thinking about it, he tilts his head just to one side as they kiss, then half parts his lips, taking in a long breath through his nose. His thumb strokes along Shinra's jaw again, and then he's gently pushing his tongue against the other boy's lips, trying to coax him to open his mouth a little, because it's the second kiss, so that's okay, right? He really, really wants it to be okay.]

Edited 2012-09-21 08:15 (UTC)

[Shinra splays one hand across the small of Gamzee's back and slowly runs the other up the curve of the taller boy's spine. Somewhere on the back of his mind, he's half-marveling at Gamzee's flexibility, but it's too hard to summon enough focus to marvel properly because there's nothing about any of this that isn't absolutely fascinating and wonderful.

He shifts again as the other boy tilts his head, doing his level best to figure out exactly how to do this without having their noses bump into each other. And then Gamzee's stroking his jaw again and there's a gentle, wet sort of pressure against his lips which must be the other's tongue. So, Shinra almost instinctively parts his lips, granting the other boy access.]

[It's probably good that at some point Gamzee's kissed other people, because this kind of thing can get messy really fast. Not that he's an expert at it, but instead of just shoving his tongue as deep as possible immediately, the taller boy slips in past Shinra's teeth, finding the Ravenclaw's tongue with his own, then strokes over it and curls around it, inviting his friend's (boyfriend, Shinra is his BOYFRIEND HELL MOTHERFUCKIN' YES)- boyfriend's involvement in the whole process. His lips fit over Shinra's more, moving them together in a way that rouses a low sound from the back of his throat and makes him grip at the other boy tighter.]

[When Gamzee's tongue begins to curl around his, Shinra emits a noise that's half-inquisitive, half-blissful and pauses momentarily, trying to remember which areas in the mouth have the most nerve endings. It then occurs to him that he never actually read up on this and there's really nothing he can do but experiment. So, he mimicks Gamzee's movements, slowly curling his own tongue around the Slytherin's for a moment. He smiles as well as he can under the circumstances at the low gutteral sound Gamzee emits and carefully presses his tongue forward, seeking entrance to the other boy's mouth, possessively clutching at his robes as he does so. ]

[The decided mutuality of the kiss fires something up inside Gamzee, more than just a happy warmth that his affections being returned, more than the simple excitement of kissing a boy he finds attractive. Some of it might be the way Shinra's clutching at him, at his robes, so eager to be here with him and obviously quite into it, too ... whatever the case, he tangles his tongue more aggressively with the other boy's as Shinra pushes into his mouth, opening his mouth a bit wider and turning the kiss into something that has the potential to be very sloppy.

He shoves his body forward as he does it, because they're really not very far from one of the cold stone walls, pushing the Ravenclaw against the hard surface and covering his smaller frame with Gamzee's own stupidly tall and lanky one. It's a clumsy move, the way the Slytherin jostles forward, but it's effective in that it allows Gamzee to press almost all his body against Shinra's while they kiss, feeling the weight of him beneath his clothes. He's starting to feel a little dizzy, but there's nothing in him that wants to stop right now, nothing at all.

In fact, he's utterly oblivious to the sound of chattering voices as a group of three girls exit the Great Hall, heading towards the preoccupied boys on their way to somewhere or other.]

[As Gamzee's suddenly pushing him backwards, Shinra trips over his own feet and collides into the wall with very little grace. But it only takes him a very brief moment to recover before he's leaning up and attempting to press himself even closer to the other boy, even if that might be virtually impossible from his current position. He winds his tongue around Gamzee's for a moment -perhaps not in as aggressive a manner as the other boy, but definitely in earnest. He then presses forward just a bit and experimentally runs the tip of his tongue along the roof of the Slytherin's mouth.

But feeling more than a little dizzy himself, he reluctantly pulls back, turning his head to the side to take a much needed breath and unintentionally making eye contact with one of the passing girls as he does so. In response, he offers her a proud sort of smile as he moves to wind his arms around Gamzee's waist once again.]

Edited 2012-09-23 07:13 (UTC)

[The Slytherin pulls in a long double lungful of air as Shinra breaks the kiss, licking his lips and looking ready to just dive back in - there are spots of high color in his cheeks, and his pupils seem rather wide in his excitement. He doesn't even notice the girls, despite the fact that one of them is muttering something in a scandalized voice, and the other two are giggling now, at least not until Shinra turns his head and smiles.

He glances over with distracted eyes, then blinks in surprise - the arm around Shinra tightens rather possessively, as if he thinks one of these girls is going to abscond with his newly minted boyfriend.]

Where'd you little chicas come from? [He asks, which provokes another gale of giggles as the girls hurry down the hall, past the two boys. Gamzee looks back down at the Ravenclaw after that, his breathing still coming a little harder than strictly necessary.]

You want to ... uh, find somewhere? [That sounded a lot less than smooth, but the older boy really, really doesn't care right now.]

[Shinra disentangles one of his arms from around Gamzee and waves happily at the girls as they pass by. He then looks back up at Gamzee, breathing more heavily than he usually would be and looking rather flushed and just a bit dishevelled, but beaming nonetheless.]

They probably came from the Great Hall. Unless they skipped dinner for whatever reason, but either way, I don't think it matters. Although you're right. [He glances around, having the decency to smile somewhat sheepishly] We should probably find somewhere else to go.

[He pauses, contemplating the matter for a moment.]

But since I'm not allowed in your dorms anymore, I'm not exactly sure of where we would go... Now that I'm thinking on it, there really isn't much privacy in the castle, is there?

Astronomy Tower ... but might be classes up there soon. Or the forest, 'cept we don't really have time to go that far. There's the bog ... [Except even Gamzee knows it's probably not cool to take your boyfriend into the toilet stall for your first proper makeout session. And really, just hiding behind something doesn't seem like it would work, either.] Damn, I don't even be knowing, I just-

[He looks down at Shinra again, biting into his wide lower lip and stroking back a little of the other boy's hair off his forehead.] You be looking so good right now. So motherfuckin' fine I can't even hardly be believing it, like you're just some dream what's going to poof away when the sun comes up.

Journal Entry #5

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