Journal Entry #1

[bonafide_divinity]

For some completely unfathomable reason, Robinson is lobbying to bring hordes of capybaras into Hogwarts. And for those of you who don't know, these creatures are both large and potentially dangerous. Therefore, you shouldn't be signing Robinson's petition under any circumstances.

In fact, you should all sign my petition to ban capybaras from Hogwarts in the interest of keeping us all from being killed and devoured.

Signatures:

Tulio Garza
Marina Prescott
Marceline Abadeer
Karkat Vantas
Dean Winchester
Professor Theodore Purple
Rapunzel Gothel

Comments

[greenteengenius]

I'm fairly certain we have far worse than that in the forest and the lake.

[bonafide_divinity]

Big rats, Ampora. Not guinea pigs.

And how is a dog more dangerous than a ferret? Yes, they're horrible and they tend to slobber, but that's not exactly life threatening. Ferrets, on the other hand, are conniving and vicious by nature.

[wwhatevver]

Capybara come from the family of Cawiidae, which are the same as... guinea pigs! They're are from the same order as rodents and such, but that's the same as callin' a lion a big house cat.

Which is wrong.

Are you really that naiwe? Dogs can and hawe been reported to killin' people, you know. ... Oh yes, Caligula is considerably wicious, especially whenewer I'm danglin' one of his toys in front of his face and whenewer he starts play fightin' with me an' bitin' me.

[mo_cara]

yEaH, iT's LiKe DaNCiN aNd FiGhTiNg AlL tOgEtHeR!
sO i GuEsS yOu ShOuLdN't JoIn MaXiM's ClUb If ThAt'S sCaRy To YoU.

[Filtered]
nAh, BrO.
WhY, yOu Be NeEdInG sOmEtHiNg?
;o)

[givesyouaboner]

How do you know?

Dirk Strider's my name, don't wear it out.

[mightyandtall]

IT WOULD BE RATHER PROBLEMATIC. IT REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME.
YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW ABOUT THAT TIME. IT WAS JUST SO HORRIBLE.

YES. PUT DOWN MY NAME. YOUR PETITION IS NOW OFFICIAL.

[sixbuckdropout]

no worries robinson is a pain. wudnt want to inable.

_[Filter]

it might be just bc... capybaras dont have sharp teeth
but then
maybe they havent thought about




rabid cabybaras

[arrogantalloy]

They're vegetarians, Garza. What are they going to do? Savagely and remorselessly keep our grounds weed free, and easily maintained?

Believe me, if you had one. You'd have better things to do than think about things like this, that's what it has to do with this.

[bonafide_divinity]

I'm not particularly fond of rabbits, but that's irrelevant! You're deflecting, Robinson. The real issue here is that giant rodents have no business at Hogwarts!

[bonafide_divinity]

Guinea pigs are domesticated, Ampora. Capybaras are not as far as I know.

And I know dogs can and have killed people, but that only happens when other people train them to do it. Dogs are too blissfully ignorant to do anything like that on their own.

[bonafide_divinity]

Exactly here would you keep an army of platypuses at Hogwarts?

You're a first year, aren't you?

[givesyouaboner]

If I told you that, it would foil my plots. You would find a way to annihilate my army.

Yes. Why?