Journal Entry #1

[bonafide_divinity]

For some completely unfathomable reason, Robinson is lobbying to bring hordes of capybaras into Hogwarts. And for those of you who don't know, these creatures are both large and potentially dangerous. Therefore, you shouldn't be signing Robinson's petition under any circumstances.

In fact, you should all sign my petition to ban capybaras from Hogwarts in the interest of keeping us all from being killed and devoured.

Signatures:

Tulio Garza
Marina Prescott
Marceline Abadeer
Karkat Vantas
Dean Winchester
Professor Theodore Purple
Rapunzel Gothel

Comments

[wwhatevver]

Your point? That doesn't stop me from lettin' him crawl all ower bed an' take naps in my hoodie. There are plenty of animals that we keep as pets that are more dangerous than ferrets by a landslide. Dogs, horses, owls, I can certainly go on.

Besides, capybaras are like big guinea pigs.

[bonafide_divinity]

Big rats, Ampora. Not guinea pigs.

And how is a dog more dangerous than a ferret? Yes, they're horrible and they tend to slobber, but that's not exactly life threatening. Ferrets, on the other hand, are conniving and vicious by nature.

[wwhatevver]

Capybara come from the family of Cawiidae, which are the same as... guinea pigs! They're are from the same order as rodents and such, but that's the same as callin' a lion a big house cat.

Which is wrong.

Are you really that naiwe? Dogs can and hawe been reported to killin' people, you know. ... Oh yes, Caligula is considerably wicious, especially whenewer I'm danglin' one of his toys in front of his face and whenewer he starts play fightin' with me an' bitin' me.

[bonafide_divinity]

Guinea pigs are domesticated, Ampora. Capybaras are not as far as I know.

And I know dogs can and have killed people, but that only happens when other people train them to do it. Dogs are too blissfully ignorant to do anything like that on their own.