sortinghat_rp | Nine Smuppets; Text

[Murdoc can't help but ignore the soft tingle that the hum sends down his spine.

He's watching him idly, as much as he can while still in a comfortable position. It's then that he begins to grow concerned, when he realises the hand on his back isn't doing anything. He feels stupid and inept and like he shouldn't be here all at once.

He watches more carefully as Dirk shifts, feeling a knot twist in his stomach. Right now, he wouldn't be surprised if Dirk wants to sit up and tell him to leave.

So, when Dirk actually curls around him, he tenses a little in surprise before he gently places a hand on Dirk's head, running his fingers through his hair and shooshing him in a quiet voice.

He puts a leg up on the bed, pulling himself onto the bed and closer to Dirk. He knows he should be comforting him right now, the silence is doing nobody any good. So he just talks and hopes like hell he says something worthwhile.]

S'alright, love. Everythin' will be fine.

[No. No everything wouldn't be fine. Or at least that's what it felt like for Bro. Because now that he's crying, he just can't stop. And it's not even just specifically for what recently happened. It's pent up feelings he's had for a long time, even before David came back briefly. Because he's been repressing them for months now, just to be strong for Dirk. It had become easier and easier to do that. To focus on making sure Dirk was okay. He hadn't really gotten over it himself. Just... repressed everything.

And it was all coming out now and he just felt absolutely miserable. Even Murdoc's presence was starting to not help anymore, now that he he'd finally broken down. Not that he wasn't grateful for it, because he was. But... he felt stupid. A part of him that was still even remotely rational was telling himself that he was stupid. That he was just embarrassing himself and that he shouldn't be clinging to Murdoc so tightly. Crying into his thigh. It was stupid and he was stupid and he should just stop.

It's with that in mind that he finally tears himself away from Murdoc. He rolls over and faces away from Murdoc, eyes locked on the opposite wall. He curls up on himself, shaking. Already he feels a sense of loss and loneliness now that he isn't clinging to Murdoc, but he's convinced himself it's for the best. Because Murdoc doesn't need to deal with this shit. He doesn't need to deal with Bro being a complete and total dumbass baby.

He manages to choke out a few words, his voice shaky and broken.]

S-Sorry... just...You can g-go.

[He felt absolutely stupid for calling Murdoc over in the first place. He hadn't intended to break down like this but it had happened and now he couldn't stop. It was better to just... be alone. That was Murdoc wouldn't see him like this. Not that he could ever recover his dignity. That was gone and he didn't think he would ever manage to get it back.]

[Now Murdoc is positive he's done something wrong here, he just wishes he knew exactly what it was. All he can really see is that what he's tried to do is just not enough. The fact that it wasn't actually gives him a sense of genuine concern. Of course, he was worried from the moment he walked in, anyone would be worried about a friend in this situation.

But just. The way Dirk is acting seems so off and so far beyond anything he's ever had to deal with. He can't just leave, obviously, he'd never forgive himself. Honestly, after everything he's put Dirk through, he deserves a little bit more of his time.

When he moves he feels a little empty and very fucking pathetic. He stares for a long moment, trying to formulate something heartfelt, something helpful and nothing comes.

Instead, he acts on gut instinct. He shifts, as if he's standing up and then he just sort of flops on top of Dirk. It's mostly because if he doesn't throw himself into cuddles, he'll weasle out of them, but he imagines it must feel comforting in some way. Right?

Regardless, he's going to snake his arms around him in a stubborn attempt to tell him he isn't going anywhere.]

Make me.

_{[It's a while later, several hours after Dirk's less than stellar conversation. His tantrum is over and now he's just back to feeling pathetically emotional. He wants his uncle. He wants him to hug him and say it'll be okay. But it takes him a long time to even do that. Because Bro made him angry. He made Bro angry too, probably. But in the end, he decides to go see him anyway.

He knows the route to Bro's quarters by hard from having slept there numerous times since the semester started anyway, but it's just by chance that he doesn't get caught for being out after curfew. He's not expecting anyone to be there but Bro, so he doesn't knock or anything.

He just opens the door, closes it, and heads to the foot of the bed and starts to climb on it. He's not even aware that Murdoc's there yet because he was so focused on just getting there.]}

[It's been quite a while. Bro's managed to calm down almost completely. Being with Murdoc has been a huge comfort, one he really didn't expect but one he's absolutely grateful for.

It's been long enough for him to have cried it out and to realize how tired he is. And god, he's tired. He's clinging to Murdoc, an arm and a leg thrown over him and he's pressed up against him as close as he can be.

By the time that Dirk makes his way into the room, he's dozing off, nearly completely asleep. It takes him a few seconds before he realizes there's something off, and it's when Dirk is already in the bed before he's roused up enough to realize anything. When he does realize that Dirk's climbed into bed, he lets out a small gasp, pushing off of Murdoc quickly and a little roughly in the panic.

He's honestly terrified now. He and Murdoc- whatever they were- were supposed to be a secret. And there he was caught cuddled up to him as if Murdoc was an over sized teddy bear. That had to look really fucking suspicious, and the thought was just... He didn't even know. He was starting to panick.]

Jesus- shit, dude- what're you doing?

[Until now, Murdoc had been fighting off his own desire to sleep for the sake of keeping an eye on Bro.

It had been an exhausting hour or so, mostly for Bro, but in the end it felt very cathartic. With Bro now very contentedly straddled around him, he felt as if he himself could relax. Even if he feels a little strange right now.

Somewhere in between rubbing Bro's back and shifting himself around the other man to get comfortable, he'd drifted off too with his face buried in the other man's hair.

He jerks awake when he hears the gasp, widening his eyes in time to be pushed away. Not that he needed it, really. If it were possible to apparate in Hogwarts, it would appear that Murdoc had. He had gone from being curled on the bed to standing by his boots awkwardly in a heartbeat.

He doesn't say anything, he just looms awkwardly by the bed, looking between the two Dirks.]

_{[It's now apparent to Dirk that he's definitely walked in on something he wasn't supposed to. He can't figure out why Professor Donoghue is here, or why he was laying so close to his uncle, but... Suddenly this is awkward. He hadn't expected Bro to have someone else here, and in turn he hadn't expected Bro to react to his presence like this.

He stops moving on the foot of the bed where he is and just sits there, trying to come up with an excuse. He can't find one adequate, other than the reason he's actually there. He's only marginally worried that either of them would give him detention for being out past curfew. What he's expecting is to be sent back to the dorm because of this new dynamic. Bro probably wouldn't want Professor Donoghue to know his nephew is such a baby. That's like secondhand embarrassment or something.]}

I couldn't sleep. I didn't... I don't... want to be alone. _{[He swallows, his addendum spewing out quickly.]} But it's no big deal. I can go. I'm sorry I didn't know...

[Fuck. Bro can tell from Dirk's reaction that they've definitely been caught in a... compromising position. But in order to smooth it over, he has to remain calm and think quick. Maybe their reactions hadn't been the best in the world, but he can still fix it.]

No, it's cool. Really, I promise. You can stay. I... I want you to.

[And it's true, he does. He knew Dirk would be feeling upset, and as... Bad as their last conversation had went, the thought of Dirk being alone and dealing with this shit wasn't something he wanted.]

I didn't wanna be alone, either... That's why he was here, is all. [He gestures to Murdoc.]

You can both stay.

[There's a subtle emphasis on 'both'. He's clearly implying to Murdoc that he doesn't want him to leave, even if they've been caught in this position. If Murdoc left, Bro would... honestly be really upset. He can't let him leave.]

[Ontop of feeling awkward as hell, Murdoc is starting to feel horribly guilty. The poor thing sounds so distraught right now, he obviously needs to be with his uncle, given that they've both gone through something horrible these past few days.

That, of course, makes that little feeling of guilt nag at him once more. He shouldn't be here. He was being selfish and keeping Bro to himself when he's obviously got more important things to be doing.

He's about to reach for his boots when Bro's tone of voice tweaks at something in him. He doesn't have to leave. He wants him to stay, so he should stay. He doesn't know where Dirk stands on that though and he can't help feeling like the guilty party here.

He turns his gaze away from both of them, as if he's looking at something in the distance before he responds in an obligingly quiet voice.]

I should go.

_{[For a moment, Dirk doesn't respond. He's taking in what Bro said and he's glancing over at Murdoc. So the situation is a little weird, but Bro wants Murdoc there and technically, Murdoc was there first. Who is he to even request he leave? He doesn't particularly mind him being there, either.

Just as long as Murdoc doesn't think him as a baby. This seems to be his constant fear, worrying too much about what people think of him. It can't really be helped though.]}

You don't have to. Uncle Dirk said it was ok.

_{[Stating the obvious, points to Dirk. But it seems like Murdoc might need to hear that. Once he's done speaking, he's crawling up closer to Bro so he can faceplant his chest and cling like a spider monkey.]}

[He feels his stomach twist at Murdoc's words, and he's starting to have an internal panic. He's trying to figure out a way to get Murdoc to stay without making it completely obvious to Dirk that anything's up. But Dirk's words make him feel a little better, a little more hopeful. At least Dirk doesn't want him to leave.

When Dirk moves and clings to him like that, he takes the opportunity to speak again.]

Yeah, man... You can stay.

[He's hoping that Murdoc looks his way again, because he's giving him pretty much the most pleading look he's ever given anyone. Silently trying to convey that he really needs him to. Because god, the thought of Murdoc leaving him is almost enough to make him break down again, but he hides it by wrapping his arms around Dirk, squeezing him tightly. Trying not to shake.]

[He shifts his weight from one foot to the other for a brief moment, quietly taking in the situation and trying to understand his position in it as best he can.

Dirk likes him, right? Having him stay near won't hinder any family bonding time, will it? Maybe if he's just there to keep an eye on them it won't be so bad.

He sighs a little and heaves his shoulders, as if he were intending to go do something terribly important, but it's obviously all for show. He goes back to perching on the end of the bed, watching both of them with a half smile.

He's not easily moved, but he admits to himself that it's an adorable view he has here.]

_{[Now that Dirk's clinging to his uncle and being held, he doesn't really care about anything else. Even if the conversation he had with Bro induced a tantrum rivaling the spoiltest of toddlers, really all he needed was comfort. Now that he has it, he's finally able to relax some. He hasn't forgotten Murdoc is there, but he's too busy sniffling into Bro's shirt and mumbling 'thank you.']}

[It takes a large amount of self control not to breathe a sigh of relief when Murdoc finally moves to sit back down. The relief is, however, apparent in his eyes, which are still staring intently at Murdoc. After a moment though, he shifts his attention to Dirk when he hears the tiny mumble.]

Hey, shhh. It's cool. I'm always here for you.

[Murdoc settles more into the bed, trying not to allow himself to feel awkward about this situation. Which is fairly difficult given that Dirk just walked in on them tangled up together like romantic octopi.

He casts a glance around the room, so it's not as if he's sitting there staring at them before realising Bro is still looking at him and he returns the look with a sheepish smile]

_{[That's a comfort. Dirk's still considerably upset, but he's starting to relax and calm down some. He doesn't say anything else, but there isn't much of a reason for him too. Focusing on his breathing is a bit more important, anyway.]}

[Bro returns Murdoc's smile, before shifting his attention back to Dirk one more time. He moves so that he can lay down, propping himself up on his elbow with Dirk laying next to him. He wraps his arm around Dirk and nuzzles in close. He isn't quite sure what to do now, so he just lets out a small sigh and leans down to press a kiss to the top of Dirk's head.]

It's late, you wanna try sleeping?

[Immediately he tenses up, going absolutely rigid. He wasn't expecting Murdoc to do that at all and a part of him is even more embarrassed by it. But he doesn't move. Instead, he finds himself shifting a little to help Murdoc get an arm around him, despite the fact that he feels so damn stupid about this.

But... Murdoc's words have the instant effect of making him feel better. They're simple, but. They make him feel like he isn't alone. That Murdoc actually does want to be there for him. That maybe it wasn't such a huge mistake asking Murdoc to come over in the first place. They make him realize that maybe Murdoc isn't judging him for this or thinks he's stupid. Overall they just... make him feel a lot better. At least, he feels less stupid. He still feels pretty miserable. It's a confusing mishmash of feelings.

Bro lets out a small sob, his hand finding Murdoc's as he shakily takes it in his. He just honestly needs all of the contact he can get, and holding Murdoc's hand seems like the best solution. The grip he has on it is strong, as if he's holding on with the fear that Murdoc might disappear. Because he realizes that he needs him there. The thought of being alone suddenly seems horrifying. He can't imagine sending Murdoc away now.

It's about a minute or so later that he finally manages out a shaky quiet response, his voice quivering and nearly choked.]

Thanks...

[The tension is concerning at first, almost offputting. Murdoc wonders if this was what he wanted at all, or if perhaps he'd just missunderstood the situation. He considers pulling away from the embrace, feeling like an idiot.

And then he shifts for his arm and any doubt he had begins to fade away. Instead, he circles the arm tighter around Dirk, stroking his back with his hand as he sobs.

He makes a soft sound of concern in response, letting his head lean forward until their foreheads are touching and he looks down into Dirk's eyes. His own face is lined with worry as he watches Dirk. He wants to say something comforting. Something uplifting. Nothing comes to mind. He can't verbalise anything with enough depth or warmth because it's never been his place to say those things.

He shooshes him gently as he hears his voice quiver. Not because he wants him to shut up, but because he wants him to understand that he doesn't need to be thanked right now. He hasn't begun to do anything to justify that.

Watching for a long moment, Murdoc's eyes start to drift down Dirk's face from his eyes to his lips. He honestly has no idea how to convey sympathy through words, but he thinks maybe his actions can speak for him. He moves his own face down, gently pecking the corner of his mouth before catching Dirk's lips with his and kissing him as tenderly as he can manage. He squeezes Dirk's hand in return, his other hand still rubbing circles over the other man's back.]

[As it turns out, Murdoc's actions are a lot more comforting than anything he might've been able to say. It's the actions that really make him feel like Murdoc cares, and that he isn't just there out of some weird obligation. That he wants to help. When Murdoc shooshes him, it's enough to make him calm a little, his body ceasing to shake as much, though still pretty hard.

But then Murdoc kisses him, and as cliche as it is it turns out to be exactly what he needed. Maybe it was just the way he coped with things. It was just in his nature. Or maybe it was just because it was Murdoc. He honestly didn't know. But the instant that Murdoc's lips are on his, he feels better. He the raw ache in his heart dulls. He lets out a needy whimper and presses himself closer to him, moving to wrap himself around Murdoc as much as possible.

The kiss is wet (on account of the fact he's still crying) and sloppy and very full of need, but it's a very comforting one. He opens his mouth against Murdoc's in an attempt to deepen it, letting out another sound of need. God, he must sound so pathetic, huh? He realizes that, but now that he's found the thing that makes him feel better, he can't help himself.]

[The whimper serves to encourage Murdoc, so much so that Dirk's attempt to deepen it is almost unnecessary. It is, however, enough to make him push closer. It's as if the whimper drags out the more protective side of himself. The arm on Dirk's back wraps tighter, closing the near non-existent gap between them.

He gives Dirk's hand a final squeeze before ghosting it up his chest, cupping his face and grazing his thumb under Dirk's eye so he can wipe at least one of his tears away. After that, he just strokes his thumb over Dirk's cheekbone.

Even in Dirk's desperation, Murdoc tries to pace himself. He flicks a tongue over his lips before letting it slip within his mouth. He tilts his head upward, quite content with the slowness of the kiss though eager to satisfy Dirk's wants in order to have him feeling better again.

Not that he isn't enjoying this an appallingly large amount, of course. He hates seeing Dirk like this, but it lifts his own spirit to be the one here for him.]

[The sound that Bro lets out once he feels Murdoc's hand on his face is less of need and one of contentment. Honestly he's never been in a situation like this where anyone's comforted so much. He's never needed to be comforted like this so much- or rather, he's never had the chance. Maybe he has needed it before, and just never gotten it. But now that he's getting it, it just feels so good. It makes him feel like a child, but at the same time he doesn't care. It feels good and that's really all that matters to him. Because he can feel the ache in his chest numbing. Or healing? He isn't even sure. But it's definitely going away.

After a while, Bro becomes content with the slow pace. Where at first he was eager to have more, the comfort of it all is slowly making him less needy. It's actually making him realize how goddamn tired he is. But he doesn't stop kissing him. He just takes it slower, and that makes it all the more intense and better.

It's a few seconds later that he needs to break the kiss though, and when he does he's panting slightly. He shifts, pressing his head under Murdoc's neck and burying himself against Murdoc's chest. After a few seconds of silence, when he's finally caught his breath, he manages to speak.]

Thank you...

[It's more sincere this time, less awkward. A lot less choked. It's clear that he's starting to feel better.]

[Murdoc can't help but feel a little guilty over how good this feels right now. His heart is there for Dirk and he's terribly concerned for him, but it feels so right and so damn good to be taking the protective role. Particularly when it means he gets to kiss him like this. They've kissed a few times over the span of their relationship..was it a relationship? Their thing.

But he feels like this is the most intimate kiss they've ever shared. Something special and safe between them. It felt good to just kiss and have it be for something as important as healing emotional wounds. Not out of curiousity or because sex is around the corner. They're just kissing and it's nice. Which, of course, only raises more questions about what Dirk is to him. Dirk is just his. For now, anyway. And whenever he had him alone, he would be his.

He starts to protest as Dirk pulls away, but it falters in his throat and he stifles it with a content hum. He nuzzles his face into Dirk's hair and rubs his back idly, appreciating the silence so he can gather his thoughts.]

You don't need to thank me, love. [He rubs circles lightly on his cheek with his thumb.] After all you've done for me, you really don't.

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