sortinghat_rp | (no subject)

i liked tony
i thought he liked me
he was treating me like the brothers and fathers (and sometimes boyfriends although i try to avoid that) of mechanicsburg treat me
like you belonged to him and i was going to ruin you for life just by breathing the same air as you
and also the way he was acting like you couldnt take care of yourself bothered me as well

He probably does like you - he just had something of a meltdown that day because he turned Steve into a girl by accident, so he was kind of snapping at everyone.

As for me, well... he's protective of girls, and in that situation I was a girl, so...

8I

im protective of girls and i would never do that
theres protective and theres overbearing bruce and he was definitely being overbearing and condescending
to you
im sorry bruce i dont think his behavior was okay he should not have gotten involved i know i was being a lecher but at the same time i was not at all in a position of power or dominance over you you were being very dominant and it was very obvious that you were in complete control of the situation
coming up to play your knight like that was unnecessary and completely undermined your abilities

which if i am allowed to comment i would say were greatly increased as a girl and im not saying that just because you had boobs you just seemed so in tune with the wolf while still being in control it was beautiful

That's what Tony does, you get used to it.

[Long pause and several ink blots later.]

... I was? Not pretty I mean, you're saying I seemed in tune with the wolf?

i dont like it a knight should be called upon not swoop in where he doesnt belong

well you said you could smell my thoughts
dimo does that too (although i think he would say that i always smell like im having naughty thoughts) and hes very in tune with the wolf
you were also really aggressive but it was like you were asserting your dominance not trying to eat my face or anything
it was like
well usually when it comes out around me you seem like your trying to contain it you know? like oh nos the wolf gotta calm down!
but then it was like you didnt even realize the wolf was out it was just all so natural
does that make sense?

Kind of, I just

don't

Maybe it's because I was too focused on trying to get my body back that I didn't notice or care?

you dont trust the wolf not to hurt people because of the reputation werewolves have
how much do you even interact with it within yourself?
i mean i dont know exactly what its like myself because i havent experienced it but it just seems like you consider it a separate person?
and not just a part of yourself
maybe if you got to know it youd find it wasnt really that different from you

It's not just reputation - been there, got the initiation bite.
I interact with it enough to know he's vicious. Unstable even. More often than not it's like he's trying to eat me so he can take over.

that
does not sound normal
i think i might have to write dimo about this

It's my fault it's like this - don't worry, I'll manage.

your fault?

Uh

~~Dad and I tried to get rid of it~~

~~I tried to get rid of it so it's returning the favor~~

Yeah, my fault.

[there's a small spot where Maxim let the quill rest on the page]

you messed ith it didnt you?
i swear your brains are going to be the death of you smart people
did you even bother to to look into anything about werewolves before you started poking or did you just go off the stories?
because i know YOU had a bad experience but that doesnt mean all werewolves are bad
i mean my family has over 20 wolves together and weve not had an accidental biting in decades
not since masters bill and barry took over and forbid that sort of thing anyway
but nope you just poked didnt you didnt even think you could live with it have it work with you
nope gotta get rid of it it is a monster and a burden and this great horrible affliction
a savage beast so completely beneath you
its no wonder it wants to eat you
if i had to live with someone who regarded me that way i would want to eat them too

[After a long pause - writing is scribbled and harsh.]

What would you expect me to do? Sit back and enjoy the ride as it completely CHANGED MY LIFE? I got attacked in the fucking countryside when I was on holiday!

Do you know what it's like to be chased for hours by a monster that's sadistically enjoying it? It herded me away from the cottage and kept me running. What, you think it was trying to make friends? That's what it was doing when it SNARLED and JUMPED at me every few minutes to make sure I didn't slow down? It didn't even stop until I couldn't move anymore and even then it made sure to take it's time before biting me

~~After that why the fuck would I want to become one~~

it didnt change dimos life one bit!
sure his circumstances were a bit different but doesnt change the fact that he lives perfectly fine and happily with the exact same condition that you do
i understand that the experience was scary and traumatic you i really do
but that doesnt change the fact that you had a full month before you had to deal with the wolf
a month where you could have looked into what a werewolf really is what it really means
that wolf that bit you wasnt a bad sadistic wolf
that was a bad sadistic PERSON using the wolf in a way to terrorize and demean
that is not the wolfs fault
left to its own a wolf is just as happy if not more so chasing chickens as it is chasing people
you have every right to be upset about what happened to you but do not blame it on the wolf it is not his fault
it is the fault of a person
we are the real monsters
we are the ones who are cruel and hurtful on purpose
we are the ones who build great things and only raze them to the ground
we are the ones who shun our own kind because of superficial differences like skin color or smartness levels or who we love
we tease and torment because we can
we make games out of power and toy with the mind
do not think that my desire to be a werewolf is based on some romanticized version of them like what comes from books
i know what real monsters are and they are not what is in you or in dimo

I don't know how things are run in Mechanisburg but everywhere else werewolves are hated and they used to be hunted down

Why would I want to be something despised by society when I'm a legit threat to it like this!?

[Ink splatters as he throws the quill down and slams the journal shut.]

[for a moment, Maxim just sits there, quivering in anger that is directed as much at himself as it is at Bruce. He just can't do anything right, can he? Can't fix anything without turning it into an even bigger mess]

[After a while, he takes a deep breath, forcing himself to relax and calm down. He doesn't know if Bruce will come back to look at this later, but he doesn't want to leave it like this]

you are a good person with pure thoughts and intentions
you are not a monster
you will never be a monster no matter what you think of yourself
you are your choices not the things that are thrust upon you
the fact that you care so much about not hurting people shays that more than anything else

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