☀ 004 ☀

[seeringlight]

Muets! C'est tellement stupide!
Comment muets peuvent vous être?

Ai hhuthe hevhluythuyng!!!
os ot s'ho dofhfhuycaht t'ho nhuht boh on iudhiaht.
Ai'ehm ayskuyng fuhr thuo muyrch ai khuyw!






Ah, yes. Who would like to join me at the Three Broomsticks for the first Hogsmeade trip? If I'm feeling particularly charitable, I may pay for your drink(s).
Or if you wish to join me at Honeydukes, I'd also appreciate that.
Company is welcomed and encouraged.

Comments

[givesyouaboner]

No. When did this happen?

[seeringlight]

Well, Dirk. I was conceived fourteen years ago.
So I assume it was fourteen years ago that my mother hath given thy birth to twins. The father was of the Strider title and the mother, Lalonde.
Not that I knew this until I started attending school. Separated and all.

[givesyouaboner]

Oh. Okay. So you're my cousin.
Not my sister. But there isn't any way for that to have been a thing anyway.
But,
Uh.
Why the hell did no one tell me?

[seeringlight]

That makes you very distantly related to Roxy. A second cousin? Ah, our family continues to grow in the most ridiculous of ways.
I don't think anyone meant to exclude you.
It's likely that it had become common knowledge to an extent that it wasn't something that was brought into conversation.
I'm sorry you weren't aware sooner.
I didn't know I even had a father until I was about your age.

[She grew up assuming it was some fling where the father didn't want to deal with her mother being pregnant nor having a daughter. But that's Rose for you.]

[givesyouaboner]

How am I related to Roxy? Is she a Strider too somehow?
I'm still probably going to go punch Uncle Dirk in the tummy for not saying anything.
That's kind of shitty, though. It would've been nice to know sooner.

[seeringlight]

She's related to me. You're not related by blood, but you are related very distantly. A second cousin. You're my cousin, and she's my cousin, so that makes it a second cousin? I don't think anyone has any arguments of being a dysfunctional and rather ridiculous but loving family. I'm sure if you call her your cousin or something, she might be charmed though. You two get along quite a bit, yes? I really hope we don't run into the cliche uncle twice removed gimmick. I've never actually wanted to see something so stupidly fictional become an actual thing.
I'm going to just go out on a limb and say that you shouldn't be too harsh on him. He's doing his best.
Even if his best isn't really up to par. It's something.
It wasn't really ever brought up. I never asked.

[givesyouaboner]

I thought that just made her your cousin. Familial relations are confusing.
But yeah. She's one of my best friends. It would kind of be weird to call her my cousin though. I just never thought of her that way. Not that I had any reason to before this, of course. I don't know.
This is a lot to take in.
But you're right.
It's not like the past few months have been easy for any of us.

[seeringlight]

She might as well be family in a sort of way.
You should be charmed to know that you will never escape the clutches of the Lalonde bloodline. We will follow you wherever you go. Watching. Always.
That sounds like a plot for a very cliche horror mystery.
It could be better, I agree.

[givesyouaboner]

Well, in that case,
Even if this turns out to be a cheesy horror story, I will gladly accept my fate if you and Roxy are the ones playing the banjos.

[seeringlight]

I would hope we had more class than banjos. I was thinking more along the lines of guillotines.
Castles and all. I don't know much about the South and their heritage apart from what I've read in stories.

[givesyouaboner]

Oh, that's very classy.
I'll be sure not to ever suggest you eat cake.
I just know Texans eat people. Luckily Uncle Dirk doesn't function on a Texan diet.

[seeringlight]

You best not. It would go straight to my thighs!
I'll be sure to tread with caution if I ever travel to that specific state.

[givesyouaboner]

And that would most certainly be very horrid! We mustn't allow that to happen.
You should just avoid it all together, really.

[seeringlight]

A travesty to us all if I do not continue to look like a chicken, obviously.
Texas wasn't really all that alluring when I looked at the brochures. Now it is a complete turn off.

[givesyouaboner]

Clearly.
You're not missing out on much anyway. It's very difficult to understand Texans, too.
Uncle Dirk and my dad are/were the only members of our family that I could ever understand. One time I had to ask whether Grandpa was speaking English.

[seeringlight]

Your personal experiences are truly unfortunate. My condolences.
Do they have a heavy accent of some kind?

[givesyouaboner]

The heaviest Texan drawl you could possibly imagine.

[seeringlight]

That's dreadful. I already feel the need to engulf myself in the wonders of tea and crumpets just talking about it.

[givesyouaboner]

You can't imagine the horrors I've had to endure during those limited family gatherings.

[seeringlight]

I would have nightmares at even trying to consider the true horror of such a thing.

[givesyouaboner]

Don't even try. You'll break your mind.

[seeringlight]

:(
That's horrible.

[givesyouaboner]

I know, right.