TwO

[mo_cara]

[sloppily spelled private]
sometimes it motherfuckin sucks to have a
best friend who says that it don't count as a relationship
and a dude i like who would rather talk to lizards
and neither of them are all into hanging with me right now anyway
and everyone else got in their pans what they think i'm crazy
i wonder what it's like to all up and be someone else
just groovin on miracles and bumpin sounds and not even caring what no other motherfucker thinks
maybe ill go ask puckerman if he's got any weed

[/private]





[Public entry.]
sO wHaT iS aLl Up WiTh ThEm SnOw MoThErFuCkErS?

Comments

[mo_cara]

How about you mind your own motherfuckin' business, bro? [Frowning, the older boy pulls his long legs up to his chest in a curiously defensive pose.] Ain't about NOTHIN'.

[yerawwizarderi]

Psssh, don't you fuckin' try that wwith me. [After Gamzee's been all up in his business Eridan means to return that favor. And he likes gossip.] If it wwere nothin' you wwouldn't havve been hidin'.

[mo_cara]

[looking down at the bed clothes with a sullen expression, shoulders hunching in] I can hide what I motherfuckin' want to. A brother has got a right to be sad about shit sometimes. Some shit just can't be-

[stops, shakes his head] It don't matter anyway.

[yerawwizarderi]

[He is going to throw something at Gamzee.]

That's not wwhat you tell me.

[It's rare that he actually offers to listen. So Gamzee should take advantage of this.]

[mo_cara]

I didn't never tell you you couldn't be sad about things! [protests, then rubs the back of his hair, messing the wild curls up even further] I just ... I just wanted a dude to maybe be thinkin' about being my boyfriend, okay? And that shit didn't work out. That's motherfuckin' all, no big thing.

[yerawwizarderi]

[Eridan makes a rough, sympathetic noise. He's pretty shitty at sympathy, but he'll try to pat Gamzee's shoulder anyway.]

That doesn't sound like no big thing, that sounds like a big fuckin' mess.

[mo_cara]

Ain't no big thing. It weren't never gonna happen anyway. [mutters to his knees - of course it's a big mess, but ever-cheerful Gamzee doesn't much like talking about negative feelings. It makes him feel all twisted up in knots inside, and so motherfucking helpless, and he hates that feeling, like everyone's going to go away eventually and there's nothing he can do about it.]

[yerawwizarderi]

Who says that? [Eridan bristles, because his entire strategy is based on the fact that if he keeps trying, sometime one of his plans will pan out.]

[mo_cara]

Like ... motherfuckin' everybody. Most dudes just like ladies, and you can't be all changing their pans on that, it's just ... the way it motherfuckin' is. Some shit just ain't meant to be. [closing his eyes] I don't want to be all speakin' on this, okay?

[It hurts.]

[yerawwizarderi]

[Time for a really, really awkward shoulder pat. Eridan is the worst at attempting to comfort somebody, but he's going to give it his best.]

I'm just tryin' to help.

[mo_cara]

[Gamzee unfolds his long, lanky body at the pat, as though it were an invitation, and wraps his arms around Eridan's waist, pressing his face into the smaller boy's shoulder completely unselfconsciously.]

[yerawwizarderi]

[There's a good thirty second lag for Eridan's shock, when he's not sure where to put his hands or what to do with them. And then he gets his arms awkwardly around Gamzee's shoulders, and sort of pats him lightly on the head, trying to remember what his friend does for him, in those moments when he allows himself to be vulnerable.]

It's gonna be okay, Gam, you'll see.

[mo_cara]

[The older boy sighs softly - he never really cries, about anything, but he feels all tight and ugly and sad inside.] I guess so. It just don't feel so good right now.

[He clings to Eridan, nuzzling at the other boy's shoulder disconsolately, but it does help, a little to have someone holding him back, even if it's awkward and unsure.]

[yerawwizarderi]

[Eridan just keeps patting his hair, and maybe compulsively untangles some of it awkwardly, like at any second Gamzee might take offense or get weird about the fact that Eridan is try to get rid of a rat's nest.]

Who was it?

[mo_cara]

[But he doesn't seem to, he just stays cuddle up against Eridan with his eyes closed.] It don't really matter now, does it?

[yerawwizarderi]

[Eridan tugs on his hair, just a little bit.] If it didn't matter you wwouldn't be so upset.

[mo_cara]

It don't matter 'cause it ain't gonna be changing. That shit be set in stone. Can't make no motherfucker want boys when he all be liking ladies. [Gamzee sounds defeated, and his head goes where Eridan tugs it, though he keeps his eyes closed.]

[yerawwizarderi]

[Eridan just tugs him closer, and goes back to combing out his hair again.] How does he know, though, maybe he just hadn't thought about it yet?

[He's trying so hard, he really is.]

[mo_cara]

Brother, he done thunk about it, and he told my ass no. [That's as clear as Gamzee can spell it out, though he does appreciate the effort, really he does.] Can't we just all not be speaking on it?

[yerawwizarderi]

I don't even fuckin' know what all it is. [And he wants to know who it was, in some weird, jealous way that he doesn't want to look too close at.] What do you want to talk about instead?

[mo_cara]

Do we have to talk about anything? [The older boy asks, a little plaintively as he nuzzles into Eridan.]