1 Rescued Princess

[wandsr4wimps]

Okay, guys, it's important for everyone to stay calm. I've got some super serious news here. So, try to find your zen zone and we can all just -

AAAAAAA HOLY CRUD THERE'S EVEN MORE OF THEM!

We might have a snow golem invasion on our hands! Oh man, there's this supremely creepy old dude who lives a few towns away from me who is always trying to get minty fresh with the young witches in the area. He specializes in ice magic! Do you guys think he might be lurking around the castle?!

Ladies of Hogwarts, if you see a gross old man who isn't one of our teachers, let me know and I will gladly protect you!

Comments

[filtre]

What?! That's so lame! How'd some creepy old guy you know get here?!

[wandsr4wimps]

I dunno! Either he decided to show up out of spite since my bro and I are always thwarting his creeptastic ways... or he suddenly remembered he must've attended Hogwarts like a billion years ago and that there are ladies here.

I wouldn't be surprised if he were staring into a window in a girls' dorm right now.

[filtre]

I didn't think random people could get into Hogwarts...he's gotta be a really strong wizard to break a spell like that!

So are you going to go after him or what?!

[alsocuteandfluffy]

Maybe we could sneak up behind him and shove snow down his pants.

[wandsr4wimps]

Dude, good plan, but I've never even seen him wear pants. Always the same blue robe.

With just brownish-grey rags over his... parts.

[alsocuteandfluffy]

You haven't seen Pleakley try on Muggle women clothing. That's polnyi pizdets.

Well maybe we could pull the back of his robes and toss one down there?

[fashioneighsta]

Are you sure it must be him? I was sure it was another prank.

[wandsr4wimps]

I guess I can't be totally sure, but it's awfully familiar! But if I'm right, you'd probably be facing the most danger from this guy!

[fashioneighsta]

Well, I won't be letting him do anything suspicious. Men who treat women poorly are the worst!

[couldbehealer]

A gross old man?

[wandsr4wimps]

Completely gross!

Oh snap, have you seen him!?

[couldbehealer]

I haven't. I haven't seen many "old" men at our school.

[its_cor_aline]

Wait, whaaaat? Are you sure it's not one of the castle's tricks?

[wandsr4wimps]

I mean, I guess it might be, but it's just SO similar, y'know? And better safe than sorry with this perv!

[its_cor_aline]

I guess you're right...

So what are you going to do? Tell Dumbledore or go look for him?

[magichairbrush]

Oh, goodness. I hope that's not the case.

It's very noble of you to offer to protect us, though, Finn.

[wandsr4wimps]

Aw, it's the least I could do! You guys won't get menaced by a frozen old weirdo on my watch!

[magichairbrush]

I feel very safe knowing that!

[yerawwizarderi]

are you fuckin serious

[wandsr4wimps]

So serious, man.

Like, more serious than a funeral.

A funeral for the prettiest flower.

[yerawwizarderi]

oh my god could you sound anymore like a gapin lackwwit
theres no old man you stupid fuck

[couragecore]

...Finn, I really doubt someone like that could get in with Dumbledore around.

[wandsr4wimps]

I-I dunno, Dumbles can't see everything at once, right? Plus, this guy is SUPER old! He could've gone to school at the same time, and Dumbles thinks he's here for a friendly visit or something!

1/2

[couragecore]

Dumbledore's been around the block a few times, I think--

[couragecore]

...Did you just call him Dumbles?

[mo_cara]

Oh MaN, sOmEtImEs i MoThErFuCkIn DrInK mOuThWaSh.
I hOpE tHaT dOn'T mAkE mE AlL cReEpY aNd ShIt.

[wandsr4wimps]

Uhhh, I've never used mouthwash, so I guess I dunno how it effects someones creep-o-meter. But I guess it's only creepy if you then try to get a girl 1/4th your age to marry you, like this guy does.

[mo_cara]

i AiN't InTo MaRrYiNg No BaBy GiRlS.
We AiN't GoT nOtHiNg To SaY tO eAcH oThEr, AnD tHaT's JuSt MoThErFuCkIn SaD iN a MaRrIaGe.

[fuckmackandme]

oh my god, finn!
what if they're really after you?!
so you'll stop warning people!

[wandsr4wimps]

Whoa.

WHOA.

You may be right! If I'm out, he can creep to his heart's content!!

[fuckmackandme]

you should tell dumbledore someone's trying to kill you!