sortinghat_rp | 04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

[Sherlock smiles at his use of chemistry.]

That's a fair enough point, I suppose.

Well, glad to hear it makes sense at all. Honestly, I think the only reason the salt thing popped to mind is because I'm thinking how nice it'll be on the eggs at breakfast.

You're downplaying your intelligence. No need. But as you seem to be hungry, let's not hesitate to get you to the banquet hall.

Right. Especially since it sounds like you'll actually be joining in eating, for once.

... though maybe don't start a food fight like you did back on your birthday.

That's the most fun you can have with food, though.

[John grins widely and almost lets slip the story of the time with his second girlfriend and the strawberries, but very quickly thinks the better of it. He clears his throat a bit more dramatically than necessary.]

Well, you may think so, but I'd rather not press our luck since we already beat the odds of escaping detention this morning.

[Sherlock shrugs, leading the way.]

I take it I'm not welcome back tonight.

Might be a bit much, yeah.

But... I suppose if there were an emergency or things were otherwise really bad, you could hide out there as long as you didn't get caught. Oh and before you get ahead of yourself, you're not allowed to intentionally make said emergency or mess things up just to have an excuse to sneak back into Hufflepuff. Clear?

John, it's as though you see me as one large potential problem that can be made and unmade in any configuration possible but always somehow into trouble.

You say that like it's not something for you to be immensely proud of.

[..okay, that gets a long, slow smile out of him.]

Perhaps a bit.

Alright, emergencies not of my making only. Excepting escapes from violent confrontations somewhat within my control.

Good. That's a deal.

[John smiles and holds out his hand to shake on the agreement.]

Also, you should make up with Tony, even if he did deserve the punch.

[Shakes his hand with a nod.]

I plan to just carry on as though it never happened so we can simply never speak on it again. Just a matter of discovering how much Bruce wants to talk to me about it. Can I add 'avoiding mother hens' to the list of excuses for infiltrating Hufflepuff?

Nope! You'll just have to put up with getting clucked at. You can only duck into Hufflepuff to avoid a mother hen if they try to peck your eyes out. And a stern talking to doesn't count.

I should have known you'd side with Bruce.

[sulk/scowl]

C'mon, don't act surprised. We both know there are plenty of people in this school who'd jump to conclusions and assume I'm just as bad a mother hen when it comes to you.

What can I say? Birds of a feather, right?

[He nudges Sherlock in the ribs and looks entirely too proud of that wretched pun.]

[Chuckles]

John, that was horrendous. Never do that again. England may fall from the devastation of your terrible puns.

[John gives a full laugh at that.]

Oh, come off it. It wasn't that bad. I'm capable of much worse, I'm sure.

I'm apt to believe you. Can't say I'm proud.

[Though he can't keep from smiling either.]

Suppose you had to have a flaw somewhere.

Hm, well, I could always weaponize them. Use them against our enemies. Pun-ish them, if you will.

[John waves his hand dismissively.]

Ah, come on, I've got loads of flaws beyond my sense of humor.

[Sherlock puts his hand over his eyes at a new bad pun. Oh, god, John is perfect.

And he hasn't the sense not to say so.]

John, given most parameters that human beings are judged based on, you're practically perfect.

[John feels a warm flush creep around his collar at the insistent praise. He's strangely flattered, and he feels a bit self-conscious of it.]

Heh, you say that like it's a universal system or something, and it just doesn't work like that. You know - one man's trash, another man's treasure and all that. We get on well, so it makes sense to see the other in a flattering light, I suppose.

I do account for those variables.

The seven most agreed upon virtues are humility, kindness, patience, diligence, charity, tempernce and chastity. You exhibit all of these but one and given your gender and current social norms, your perfectly average ventures into physical engagements would generally be commended as well. Tony thinks of you as his new hero, in fact. Taking chastity to mean more a purity of heart instead of body, then you pass all seven with hardly a word edgewise. You're resourceful and not in the least bit stupid--at least not above or beyond the normal deviations--and your moral compas is more reliable than an atomic clock.

Even for those of a darker disposition, your loyalty and strength of will are commendable. I can think of very few people who, having met you, would come away thinking you a waste of space or otherwise unnessessary accompanyment to the human race. There's a reason why so many young women find you attractive. Looks aside and on a purely biological level, you are an ideal mate who would not only be progenitor of equally laudable offspring but provide for a family duely raised well with a focus on affection.

There is room for improvement, of course, but by far and large there is less need for it in you than in almost any other human being I've encountered.

[John is completely floored by the long, mostly extremely flattering breakdown of his character. The flush around his neck from the earlier compliment charges forth, reddening his cheeks and ears. There it is again, that odd feeling he's had around Sherlock sometimes, though as of late it's become more and more frequent. He doesn't want to think about the implications too hard, especially since the feeling is rather familiar. He's dated and had enough steady girlfriends to know about that sort of feeling, after all.

He clears his throat, hoping it will clear his head.]

Uh... thanks. I don't really know what to say to, er, to all that. Besides the thanks, I mean.

I know you don't always have the most favorable opinions on... well, most everybody... so hearing that is, er, good. Very good. Pretty great, if I'm being completely honest.

If I didn't like you, I wouldn't bother myself with the association. I do have better things to do. When it comes to other people.

[He notices the blushing and stores it later analysis. Normal reaction to being complimented. But.. well, just for personal reflection.]

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