sortinghat_rp | 04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

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04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

[Filtered from teachers and any particularly detention-happy prefects]

[Inkblots. Oh God, inkblots, inkblots everywhere. And the following is scribbled hastily.]

Just woke up to quite a surprise and after nearly being shocked into having a damn heart attack, my biggest question is -

WHO THE HELL TAUGHT SHERLOCK HOW TO GET INTO HUFFLEPUFF?!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Maybe because it's the kind of prank you'd pull.

He told me a bit about the fight you two got into. Is that why you're not surprised he didn't turn up in your dorm?

This isn't my kind of prank.

Something like that, yeah.

Yeah... I found out who did it. Sorry for accusing you, but... well. This is you we're talking about.

From Sherlock's end, it sounded like you were going on about us being a couple again and he got fed up. And punchy. Care to give your side of the story?

If it wasn't me I'd be offended, but hey, no hard feelings there.

I don't have a side of the story. I pushed it, he hit me. Just a prank gone too far.

Well other than me saying I might have wanted to hit on you.

Tony... as geniuses go, you can really be an idiot sometimes.

Even if you meant that as a joke (which I really, REALLY hope you did, by the way), you know you're just riling him up saying things like that.

Oh, I bet you say that to all the geniuses.

I knew what I was doing, okay sure, so it didn't work out how I expected, but I can't really say that, Well I didn't look surprised when he hit me.

No. I only have to say to two. But I have to say it a lot, so maybe that makes up for things.

How did you expect it to work out, then?

You don't say it to me that often. Let's just start there.

Well I expected him to actually admit something to me but he wouldn't. Annoying, but hey, he's stubborn, I'm stubborn. To be far, neither of us backed down.

Believe me, keep things up the way you are and I'll have plenty of reasons to keep saying it.

Stubborn as you are, you're just going to have to face facts that you're never going to get that reaction. Yeah, he's possessive and gets cranky over the idea of my past girlfriends or any potential future girlfriends, but it's because he thinks romance is stupid and pointless, and that I'll be... I don't know... ruined or something if I get in a relationship. He's made that abundantly clear. You're not going to get a booming declaration of his eternal, burning love for me because he hasn't got any. It's just the way he is.

He punched me in the face right after I told him I was going to see how negotiable your sexuality was.

I know exactly why he's never going to declare anything, and that 'old chum'. Your fault.

And the fact that you'd been goading him for God knows how long doesn't factor into that? Besides, even if you did try to put whatever moves you've got on me, your plan would backfire. You'd just get Sherlock watching me shut you down emphatically and also possibly suplex you. My sexuality doesn't negotiate with terrorists.

Oh, really? How is this my fault?

Terrorist? Are you calling me sexually explosive or something?

Well, not really one to gossip. You want to know why, ask him.

Yes, Tony. That is exactly what I'm saying. Your raw animal magnetism is too powerful, and I am overcome. You can't see it, but I am swooning like a Victorian heiress in a corset that's too tight.

I have talked to him about this kind of thing, you know. How else do you think I came to know his less-than-impressed opinions on dating and things like that?