sortinghat_rp | 15 Smuppets

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15 Smuppets

Oh yeah. What's that sound? That's the sound of Gryffindor kicking some hardcore ass. It's the sound of the snakes getting flushed down the toilet as lions reign supreme. Hear THAT? It's the sound of a lion rawring in the distance as it devours a snake.

If it wasn't obvious, Gryffindor is the best. We kick everybody's ass and take names. You wish you could be like us, don't you? Hell yeah.

[And then sloppily filtered to Murdoc.]

I'm topping tonight, it ain't up for negotiation. Winner sticks it in, after all.

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I didn't mean it that way, now you're twisting my words around.

Oh yeah, I'll get right on that. I'm sure Rhys would be all for it, wouldn't he?

I'll wear that outfit you like. Wouldn't that make it better?

I don't see how else I could take it.

Please, I doubt he'd want anything to do with you in that regard. Not after you punched him, at least.

It's not another dress with a face on it, is it?

I don't know, but you're not an actual problem. I mean, unless you're actually admitting to being a sore loser. And then it's a slight problem, but only very slightly. Kind of cute, if you really get down to it.

I bet I could talk him into it. Have you seen my butt? It's irresistible. I don't think he could actually say no once he saw it. Neither could you, for that matter.

That was one time, man. One time. But I kinda liked it when you ripped it off me, I wouldn't mind having another go at that. Y/Y?

I'm not, but that doesn't mean I can't be irritated. It's not cute at all, for that matter.

Why don't you try it, then? Don't come sobbing to me when he's disinterested, though. I'm perfectly capable of resisting, given that I'm doing so right now.

No.

No, it's definitely cute. You can deny that all you want, but it's not going to stop being a thing.

If you actually think I would try and have sex with Rhys, you're ridiculous. I think once you see me in a sexy outfit, your resistance would crumble pretty hard. But that's just a theory. You're free to prove me wrong.

So you'll just let me parade around in an ugly dress?

Flattery will get you nowhere at this point. Not that I much appreciate being called cute.

Really, now? For a moment you seemed to have your heart set on seducing him.

I've already lost to you once today, you're only making the situation worse by trying to challenge me.

You can do whatever you like.

You're being really stubborn about this, holy shit.

[There's an ink splatter as if he dropped his quill- because that's exactly what he did. What Murdoc can't hear is the shout of pain as it zapped him. What the actual fuck? He's just kind of staring at his quill as if it's the most horrible thing in existence.

After a moment or two...]

Something really weird just happened.

Yes, I am.

[He's just going to smirk to himself.]

Did you suffer a change of heart?

No! That's not what I meant.

Did you have something to do with this? This has your fucking name all o

[ARGH JESUS CHRIST.]

Yeah. Yeah, it was you.

Then what did you mean? You’ll have to elaborate more, Dirk. Occulumency isn’t part of my skill set.
[He’s so funny.]
Excuse me? I don’t even know what THIS is? How could I possibly have something to do with it if I don’t have the slightest idea what you’re talking about? If you don’t explain I’m just going to close my journal and go about my business.

This! This, as in every time I write a word you would probably disapprove of, my quill shocks the crap out of me. This has your name written all over it, Murdoc! So just admit you did it so we can move on to the part you undo it.

It's nothing more than a coincidence, I'm certain you'd have noticed if I tampered with your quills.

Perhaps even your stationary has decided to rebel against you.

That's bull [hrrrgh censoring himself is the stupidest thing] crap and we both know it. You did this, now just undo it so I can go back to not sounding like a five year old.

I'm afraid it won't stop until I hear the magic words. I'm sure you're familiar with them by now, my darling.

You have got to be kidding me.

Fine. If you don't undo this I won't suck your you know what when we do it.

A pity.

A pity I find that very had to believe coming from you of all people.

[He knows you love the D, Bro.]

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15 Smuppets

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