I'm sorry that you are soooo lonely and miz and no one wants to touch you with a 10 foot broomstick. But that is no reason to get your pants in a bunch, girls do not altogether find madness all that attractive.
...Well, other than in the case of Amelia and Graham, but they are one of the great mysteries of life, right up there with what happens after death and how to snog someone after eating garlic.
I am telling you, I have no interest at all with any of that. You are completely stupid if you think that anything I've done could ever imply that I want or need to at all.
You know, you really are going to die a virgin if you keep talking about girls like that. No one wants to shag a bloke who keeps calling them a nuisance.
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But clearly it is just completely lacking in dignitosity and tact by making light of the misfortune of YOURSELF.
Just because no one wants to shag you does not give you an excuse to be a complete tosser.
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Oh you've got to be kidding me.
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...Well, other than in the case of Amelia and Graham, but they are one of the great mysteries of life, right up there with what happens after death and how to snog someone after eating garlic.
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I bet you're one of those homosexualists. Well, I'd recommend a friend to you, but I don't know if you are his type.
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It's true anyway.
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Don't worry, I'm not trying to upstage you.
You can go ahead and be the big man from now on if you like.
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Galen here really likes to think he's in control. I'm perfectly capable of handling myself, and him if needs be.
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NOT PRIVATE
Unless you are just shy.