❀ oo5:: Maternal love.

[thornsofoglogoth]

Good morning, all. I do believe I've just experienced karmic retribution.
Consider this a thinly veiled tribute and public service announcement: my darling mother is, in fact, somewhere in the vicinity of this castle.

I woke up to several My Little Unicorn dolls and three wizened statues of Albus Dumbledore hobnobbing on my bedside table - as well as two bottles of Old Ogden's Firewhisky which I have surrendered to the appropriate authorities.

Mother, come out, come out, wherever you are. I haven't quite thanked you properly for the gifts and veritable flood of letters I experience every weekend. May we shower each other with familial gestures of kindness all day and may I revel in your maternal charms this fine mothering Sunday.

Everyone, meet my mother, whom I love unconditionally.

Someone, anyone, please kill me now.

Comments

[martiniology]

I'm glad you enjoyed the gifts, though you I am wholeheartedly proud of you for doing the responsible thing and letting the firewhiskey go; I apologise, my hand slipped.

I must say I am most exited to meet your friends.

[thornsofoglogoth]

My apologies for not saving some for you, it would have been the more thoughtful thing for a daughter to do. Alas, the house elves had already been privy to their existence.

May I ask how long you will be staying?

[martiniology]

It's alright, Rose. I am doing my best for your sake today, you should know I have cute back at least fifty percent.

I'll be staying as long as you would like me to stay, honey.

[thornsofoglogoth]

Oh I do appreciate your efforts at sobriety but you know I have no desire to put you under any pressure on account of appearances. You are my mother, after all.

Please leave.

Oh, how wonderful! Please feel free to dally here in Hogwarts and hobnob with my peers for as long as possible.

[martiniology]

Please, darling. It is my wish to look the best for you, I wouldn't want to embarrass you!

I certainly will. Perhaps I'll see some familiar faces around.

[thornsofoglogoth]

You're doing a fairly good job of it regardless.

Oh, you could never embarrass me, mother - after all, you are my flesh and blood!

Perhaps I should take you on a school-wide tour?

[fuckmackandme]

your mother brought you statues of professor dumbledore?

[thornsofoglogoth]

Yes.
We believe he is the pinnacle of wizarding excellence.

[martiniology]

That is good to hear. You are the best daughter I could ever have.

Don't worry, Rose. I think I can manage; I still remember a lot from when I used to be here. Go and have fun with your friends. Perhaps we can do something together later on.

[fuckmackandme]

that's kinda creepy.

[thornsofoglogoth]

Well, please let me know if there's anything I can do to aid you in your campaign of motherly humiliation day here!

I'll be in my room.

Private

[thornsofoglogoth]

You're telling me.
I'm fairly certain it's a passive-aggressive gesture implying her expectations for my future.

Not that I'm capable of becoming a full-bearded wizard, but the sentiment is there.

[clockspinner]

payback is a cruel mistress isnt she lalonde
and she comes bearing firewhisky and statues of the headmaster
at lest the statues are wearing clothes this time
or is that what hobnobbing means
cause if you woke up to miniatures of dumbles freeballing it then thats it
i concede defeat
you win the shittiest wake up call award

Private- also, he's totally wearing one of his disguises

[fuckmackandme]

she wants you to become hogwart's headmistress?

Re: Private- also, he's totally wearing one of his disguises

[thornsofoglogoth]

I was thinking more along the lines of "Order of Merlin, First Class".

Private

[fuckmackandme]

oh!
that's less specific.

Private

[thornsofoglogoth]

Then again, I wouldn't be surprised.
Perhaps I should consider a career in academia.

[thornsofoglogoth]

You may keep your award, Strider.
The statues are fully clothed and there hasn't been any headmaster freeballing, though if their status changes I'll be sure to let you know.

[martiniology]

I'll be sure to call for you.

Perhaps you ought to go mingle with your fellow housemates for one?

Private

[fuckmackandme]

not as a therapist?

[clockspinner]

you know its funny
i totally forgot about this stupid parents day thing
and then i woke up with a trachea full of foam dicks
at least its a sunday so we can put all our focus on not letting them ruin our lives
instead of also having to go to class

Private

[thornsofoglogoth]

Perhaps I will be an academic therapist.

[thornsofoglogoth]

My housemates are likely preoccupied with their own parental figures.

Are you sure I cannot accompany you in your wanderings today?

[thornsofoglogoth]

I had hoped mother would be subject to her usual alcoholic lapses of memory and temporarily forgotten her parental obligations to attend. Alas, she is far too dedicated for that.

Either way, she seems to have allowed herself free rein of the grounds in the pretence of staying out of my personal business. I'm not entirely sure I want to know what she's up to.
I'm starting to understand the sentiment behind "ignorance is bliss", but I feel I have a responsibility.

[clockspinner]

meanwhile im simultaneously torn between just sitting back and watching bro ruin my entire life
reputation image and all
versus making an ass of myself trying to stop him