❀ oo5:: Maternal love.

[thornsofoglogoth]

Good morning, all. I do believe I've just experienced karmic retribution.
Consider this a thinly veiled tribute and public service announcement: my darling mother is, in fact, somewhere in the vicinity of this castle.

I woke up to several My Little Unicorn dolls and three wizened statues of Albus Dumbledore hobnobbing on my bedside table - as well as two bottles of Old Ogden's Firewhisky which I have surrendered to the appropriate authorities.

Mother, come out, come out, wherever you are. I haven't quite thanked you properly for the gifts and veritable flood of letters I experience every weekend. May we shower each other with familial gestures of kindness all day and may I revel in your maternal charms this fine mothering Sunday.

Everyone, meet my mother, whom I love unconditionally.

Someone, anyone, please kill me now.

Comments

[martiniology]

I'm glad you enjoyed the gifts, though you I am wholeheartedly proud of you for doing the responsible thing and letting the firewhiskey go; I apologise, my hand slipped.

I must say I am most exited to meet your friends.

[fuckmackandme]

your mother brought you statues of professor dumbledore?

[clockspinner]

payback is a cruel mistress isnt she lalonde
and she comes bearing firewhisky and statues of the headmaster
at lest the statues are wearing clothes this time
or is that what hobnobbing means
cause if you woke up to miniatures of dumbles freeballing it then thats it
i concede defeat
you win the shittiest wake up call award

[nosigntospeakof]

YOUR MOTHER SOUNDS QUITE THOUGHTFUL, MISS LALONDE.
ASIDE FROM THE WHISKEY.

[stridingironically]

wait what. shes here.
not that i know her but she sounds like a piece of work.
mlps the shit by the way.

[Filtered Mom.]

lalonde senior.
sup.

[yerawwizarderi]

wwhat a load a crock

[fashioneighsta]

My, I didn't know the two of you were so... close.