[05]

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

tHESE DREAMS ARE, uH, gETTING RIDICULOUS,
i WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT,
nOT WITH THEM, i MEAN, i THINK ANYWAY,
aND WHY IS IT HAPPENING IN THE, sHACK OF ALL PLACES,
i DON'T, uH, gET IT AT ALL,
aND i REALLY WISH i WOULD STOP WAKING UP WET, TOO,
iT'S, sUCH A MESS, aND i HAVE TO DO WAY MORE LAUNDRY THAN i USED TO,
bUT i DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT,
oKAY ACTUALLY i DO CARE ABOUT THAT,
mUM KEEPS ASKING ME WHY i HAVE SO MANY DIRTY PANTS,
iT'S A LITTLE EMBARASSING ACTUALLY,,,
bUT MOSTLY i JUST WISH i KNEW WHY, tHIS IS HAPPENING,
kARKAT AND GAMZEE ARE, uH, jUST MY FRIENDS,
i DON'T LIKE THEM LIKE THAT,
i'M NOT GAY,
sERIOUSLY, sO, bRAIN, pLEASE STOP TRYING TO CONFUSE ME,
iT WOULD BE REALLY NICE OF YOU,
i HAVE TOO MUCH TO DEAL WITH, i DON'T NEED TO BE CONFUSED, tOO,
i THINK i'LL JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP, aFTER CHANGING PANTS, i GUESS,
wRITING ALL THIS MADE ME FEEL BETTER,
kEEPING THIS DREAM JOURNAL WAS A GOOD IDEA,
i, uH, nEED TO HAVE THOSE MORE OFTEN,
aNYWAY, gOOD NIGHT, jOURNAL,

Comments

[animalmagnetism]

{>Don't worry about covering up the mistake.<}
{>Accept it and move on.<}
{>Trying to hide it now that it's out will only make things worse for you.<}
{>And I'm very well aware of the points he took!<}

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

nO, sERIOUSLY, uM,
iT WAS JUST A JOKE, fOR APRIL FOOLS,
wHICH i FOUND OUT JUST NOW WAS, uH, aLMOST A WEEK AGO,
sO YES ACTUALLY, uM, a MISTAKE WAS MADE,
aND i WILL ADMIT TO MISTAKING THE DATE, sIR,
tHANK YOU FOR, uH, hELPING ME REALIZE THAT,
aND i'VE LEARNED TO CHECK MY CALENDAR FOR THOROUGHLY,
aND ALSO TO, uH, cOMPARE IT TO OTHERS TO MAKE SURE IT'S CORRECT,

wAIT, yOU ARE,
wHY DID YOU GIVE, tHEM BACK THEN,
uHH, i MEAN, i DESERVED IT, fOR BEING STUPID AND, uNFUNNY,

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[animalmagnetism]

Really. You can quit hiding under the excuses.
You're digging your hole deeper.
The first points were unfair.
It was a mistake on your part.
But he'll take more for lying and I won't give those back because lying IS something to be punished for.

{>Now! That said! Relax.<}
{>Everybody gets confused at your age.<}
{>It can be hard to tell the difference between liking someone and LIKING them.<}
{>You'll sort it out though!<}
{>Just relax and let the feelings settle.<}

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[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

[So. Many. Inkblots.]

i JUST, uM,
i MEAN,
i DIDN'T MEAN TO LIE,
i JUST, wAS HALF ASLEEP OKAY,
aND GRABBED THE WRONG JOURNAL,
i DIDN'T MEAN TO,
i DON'T WANT GAMZEE OR KARKAT TO KNOW,
tHAT i'M DREAMING ABOUT THEM,

bECAUSE i DON'T, lIKE THEM,
i'M STRAIGHT AND, nOT IN ANY WAY GAY,
sERIOUSLY,
i PROMISE,

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[animalmagnetism]

{>If they're your friends they'll understand!<}
{>And if you really don't want them to know you'll need a much better excuse.<}
{>Better just to come out with it don't you think?<}

{>You know intense emotional connections can lead to erotic dreams even if you aren't actually attracted to the person!<}

{>And what's wrong with being attracted to men?<}
{>Shouldn't it be the heart and mind that matters and not the body?<}
{>I've had my share of male lovers! It's fun! Different from women.<}
{>There's nothing at all wrong with it. I promise.<}

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[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

uHH,
i THINK i WOULD RATHER JUST COME UP, wITH A BETTER EXCUSE,
sO DO YOU, hAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS, pLEASE,

uMM, nOTHING IS WRONG WITH IT,
bUT, i'M STRAIGHT AND THAT'S, uH, iT,
i DON'T WANT LOVERS OR, aNYTHING LIKE THAT,
i MEAN, i DO ONE DAY, i THINK, bUT,

i DON'T KNOW, tHIS IS JUST REALLY ALL WEIRD AND,
i WISH IT WOULD JUST STOP BECAUSE, i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

private

[animalmagnetism]

{>Short of memory charms?<}
{>I can't think of a thing that would convince them.<}

{>What you can do is relax.<}
{>It's not going away but it will get more manageable as time goes on.<}
{>Go with the flow.<}
{>There are messy parts but it can be fun too!<}

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[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

bUT, uH, tHERE'S NO FLOW TO GO WITH, bECAUSE,
uM,

oKAY, i DON'T KNOW ANYMORE,
i CAN'T EXPLAIN IT,

bUT, uH, tHERE IS NO FLOW,

rEALLY, i PROMISE,

i AM NOT A BEACH, oR A RIVER,
nO FLOW HERE, sIR,

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[animalmagnetism]

{>Just because things aren't quite flowing yet doesn't mean they won't start.<}
{>I don't think I was much older than you when I started noticing things that weren't the Forbidden Forest.<}
{>But the more uptight you are about growing up the more painful it will be.<}

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[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

uHHH, tHIS IS GIVING ME A HEADACHE,
nO OFFENSE, i MEAN, sORRY,
bUT, i DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE YOU THAT,
i'M NOT FLOWING, oR EVER WILL,

eSPECIALLY BECAUSE THAT WOULD IMPLY, sWIMMING,
aND OTHER THINGS THAT, i CAN'T DO,
uH, bECAUSE i'M IN A WHEELCHAIR,
sO,

cAN WE PLEASE, uH, sTOP TALKING ABOUT THIS,

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[animalmagnetism]

{>Alright.<}
{>But my door is open if you ever want to talk about anything at all.<}
{>Just mind the occasional pixie.<}

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[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

uHH,
yOU HAVE PIXIES,



cAN i COME AND, vISIT WHEN SCHOOL STARTS, pLEASE,

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[animalmagnetism]

{>I don't really HAVE them!<}
{>I'm pretty sure they think they have ME.<}
{>But they're frequent visitors.<}
{>They like the attention.<}
{>And treats.<}