sortinghat_rp

sO, uH,
eASTER BREAK WASN'T A TOTAL,
hORRIBLE AND HUMILIATING EXPERIENCE,
bECAUSE, sOMETHING GOOD DEFINITELY CAME FROM IT,
aLSO SOMETHING THAT TOOK A LOT OF PROCESSING,
bECAUSE, uH, iT WAS A HUGE SURPRISE,
aND ONE THAT, i WASN'T EXPECTING AT ALL,
bUUUT, iT TURNS OUT i AM, nOT QUITE SO MUCH OF AN ONLY CHILD,
aS WAS PREVIOUSLY, tHOUGHT,
wHICH IS TO SAY, i HAVE A BROTHER,
iSN'T THAT REALLY EXCITING,
i WAS REALLY SURPRISED AT FIRST,
bUT NOW, i THINK IT'S REALLY COOL,
aND, tHE BEST PART IS HE WORKS HERE,
aS THE FLYING TEACHER,
uHHH, tHE ONE NOT, rELATED TO A CERTAIN SUPPOSEDLY COOL GUY,
wHO WEARS SHADES,
aND LIKES TO, uH, mAKE FUN OF FAIRIES,
yEEEAH, hE'S THE OTHER, aCTUAL COOL ONE,

[Filtered to Kanaya; hackable by Equius]

hEYYY, uH,
i HAVE A REQUEST,
aND, iT MIGHT SOUNDS KIND OF, rANDOM AND STRANGE,
bUT i PROMISE THAT IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE,
a REALLY, gOOD CAUSE,
i NEED YOU TO MAKE ME A DRESS,
uHH, wELL,
iT'S NOT FOR ME, eXACTLY,
bUT ANYWAY, dO YOU THINK THAT, mAYBE YOU COULD DO THIS FOR ME,
i WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT,
tHE ONLY THING IS THAT, iT HAS TO BE PRETTY,
uHHH, pRETTY ENOUGH FOR A PRINCESS,
iF THAT IS A THING YOU CAN DO,
wHICH, i THINK YOU CAN, bECAUSE YOU'RE GOOD AT BEING PRETTY,
oHHH, aND MAYBE YOU COULD MAKE ME, a PAIR OF WINGS,
tO ATTACH TO MY PETER PAN COSTUME,
sO i CAN BE A FAIRY, }:)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

i,
tHINK THAT FOR THIS, mAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER WEARING PINK,
uHH, iF YOU DON'T MIND, mE SAYING SO,
bECAUSE, yOU NEED TO, fOR THE UNICORNS,
sO WE DON'T SCARE THEM OFF,
bUT i GUESS IF YOU, iNSIST, tHEN i CAN TELL KANAYA TO MAKE IT BLOO,
i MEAN, bLUE, wOOPS,

mY EAGERNESS IS NOT TO IMAGINE YOU AS A PRINCESS,
i'M JUST EAGER ABOUT UNICORNS,
aND, tHIS IS A GOOD WAY TO SEE THEM,
wHICH i GUESS MAKES ME EAGER, uH, tO SEE YOU AS A PRINCESS,
bUT, iT'S ONLY COINCIDENTAL,

D --> Actually, b100 would be a better color to wear when approaching a unicorn
D --> Horses are red-green colorblind, meaning they see the world through a spectrum of b100 and yellow
D --> The color pink would likely be seen as a shade of gray
D --> B100, on the other hand, would appear crystal clear

D --> This was all your idea
D --> What do you mean it's coincidental

i DIDN'T THINK OF THAT,
sO, i GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR BLUE,
mY BAD,

uHH, iT'S COINCIDENTAL THAT, i WOULD BE EAGER TO SEE YOU IN A DRESS,
wHEN REALLY i'M ONLY EXCITED TO SEE THE UNICORNS,
aND ALSO, yOU WANTED ME TO THINK OF YOU AS A PRINCESS,
sO, tHIS ISN'T REALLY, aLL MY IDEA,
yOU STARTED IT, bY SUGGESTING IT,

[You can't see it, but he's being all smug because he gets to wear what he wants.]

D --> It's called hyperbole and metaphor, Nitram
D --> I suggested it as an e%ample to show just how much I don't care about your opinion
D --> A boy being viewed as a princess is generally a negative thing, after all
D --> So I was saying that I do not care if you think I am a princess because I do not need your approval to validate my superiority

yOU'RE RIGHT,
uH, i DIDN'T REALIZE THAT'S WHAT YOU MEANT, aT ALL,
sO, uH,
sHOULD WE JUST, nOT DO THIS,
oR, sOMETHING,
i'M CONFUSED AS TO, wHAT YOU WANT,

D --> Why would you think that I wanted you to think that I am a princess
D --> Didn't it occur to you at all that something might be off when I protested
D --> Some of your ideas

D --> I want to see the unicorns

i DON'T KNOW,
yOU, sEEMED KIND OF ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT,
sO YOU NOT WANTING TO, uH,
iS KIND OF NEWS TO ME,
bECAUSE i THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING YOU WANTED,

i'M JUST, gETTING MORE CONFUSED HERE,
bECAUSE, yOU'RE KIND OF BEING ALL OVER THE PLACE,
wITH THESE SIGNALS THAT ARE BEING SENT,

D --> I am not being confusing, you just aren't paying attention
D --> Yes, I want to think highly of me and treat me with respect as befitting royalty
D --> Or at least nobility, as that is what I am
D --> And I did like you complimenting my hair
D --> But wearing a dress is very improper for a boy like me and it would be abso100tely shameful to be caught doing so
D --> I couldn't bear it
D --> And furthermore, I am certain that I would 100k stupid

oHHH, oKAY, i THINK i GET IT NOW,
sO,
bASICALLY i SHOULD JUST, tREAT YOU WITH RESPECT AND, tELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE, uH, nICE HAIR, lIKE A PRINCESS,
bUT, yOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT TO DRESS AS ONE,,,

[There is a very long, long, crazy long pause before Equius replies]

D --> Do you want me to wear the dress

uH,

i DON'T THINK THIS IS REALLY UP TO ME,
sINCE YOU'RE, tHE ONE WHO MIGHT BE DOING THIS,

bUT i GUESS,
mAYBE, kIND OF,
iF ONLY BECAUSE, uH,
i THINK IT WOULD MAKE IT EASIER, tO SEE THE UNICORNS,
aND ALSO BECAUSE,
i KIND OF,
wANT TO DRESS UP AS A FAIRY,
uM,
aND IT WOULDN'T BE AS FUN, iF i WERE ALONE,

D --> I see
D --> I will give the matter further deliberation

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