Forwarddated to Saturday night

[bev_rage]

i'm duying dying
im gonna die here on a footun
rip roxy lalonde she died on a gutun footun futon covrd in snacks n blood
oops should i put a tmi warning?
tmi im bleeding erywhre n it sux send help

ps im not rly dying, just bleeding frm my girly biys bits
pps smene tell dirk i'm not rly dying pls

Comments

[givesyouaboner]

I'm only helping you in manners that don't require me to leave the flat.

[bev_rage]

Diiiiiiiiiiiiirk. You're supposed to be my best friiiiiiend.

[givesyouaboner]

Best friend, not dad. That's not part of my job description.

[bev_rage]

Best friends buy their best friends with girl parts tampons.

[givesyouaboner]

I don't want to.

[bev_rage]

Please?

[givesyouaboner]

Make Uncle Dirk do it. He should've thought of the consequences of leaving us unsupervised.

[bev_rage]

He can't do it from Hogwarts, Dirk. If I shove a towel into my skirt and go with you will you do it?

[givesyouaboner]

Pretty sure he went to get his bromo on with Dave. If you do that what's the point in me going at all?

[bev_rage]

Because I'll get lost! I don't know where the fuck I'm going around here.

[givesyouaboner]

Well, let me tell you, it isn't like Kensington out there. Trying to go to the store would be like asking to be grabbed up in a 'napper van and forced into internet super stardom. The fact that anyone expects me to go anywhere at all is astounding.

[bev_rage]

Don't be a dick, Dirk.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[There's probably a convenience store across the street, but he hardly leaves the flat ever.]}

I'm not.