sortinghat_rp | Entries tagged with roxy lalonde

so
dear magical diary: got fuckin WASTED yesterday, shit was cash
until today i mean
bc damn hangovers are a hell of a NOT FUN
note 2 self: lay off the sauce for a while

so besides this partying i am all doing in my moms basement alone with my 100000000000000000 cats
smth interesting happened
got kicked out of beauxbatons
got set up with hoggy
got sent a MAGICAL oh so magical oh so sparkling oh so like a paintchat diary
but like
how does this shit even WORK....
magic is how

anyways the interesting thing that happened
lets talk about that
or write
its like
this owl comes screaming down
sliding thru the air like a hot knife through butter
like a bat out of hell
like steam from boiling water
and just.
slams into the window.
and drops this book down into the garden

im fucking surprised it didnt just break right through i mean it was a BIG OWL
but like
the point is
i got owls screeching n flying into windows
i got cats meowing and running into the patio door
where the fuck are the toads
just hopping and ribbiting and trying to eat flies that are on the other side of the glass
a pathetic site of nature and a mockery of actually getting the dins

anyways i hear my mom so im gonna stop writing
ha ha who is gonna buy that BALONEY bologne balonga?
how the fuck do you spell that shit
this is my abrupt cut off xoxoxoox goodbye

givesyouaboner

To be honest, I've been waiting to observe some fundamental change.
As it turns out, twelve isn't so different from eleven.

seeringlight

Mamam? Mamam??? Là où est ma mamam?!
Je suis très perdu! Mamam? Où es-tu? :(
I think now no have papa et mamam. :(
Svp aidez-moi? :,(

...Help? Please?

bev_rage

don't feel bad, ravenclaw
we ~~teird~~ tried
losing hardcore just means we're gonna have to whoop whoever we're goin up against next extra hard!!!

oh yeah and good job, hufflebadgers

[filtered away from Rose, Dave and Dirk]

ok so
my cousins' birthdays are coming up soon and i wanna ~~suruprise~~ surprise them with something awesome
i can't really get them anythig cause im stuck in the castle (ps being a 1st year SUUUUUUCKS cause of the "no Hogsmeade for anyone under 3rd year thing) but i wanna do something special
any sugestions?

[filtered to Rose, Dave and Dirk]

hey hey hey
what do you guys want for your birthdays? since they're, yknow, NEXT WEEK n all

givesyouaboner

I'm sure you guys have seen Professor Vantas's family tree assignment. I have to admit I'm at a loss of how to proceed with it.
Have you guys started?

_{[filtered to Bro]}

Do you know anything about my mother?

innocent_insanity

hey anyone out there mind doing a little sharing about what they up and dream about? and i'm not talking about the future and that kinda ~~shit~~ - i'm talking about when you're all cozied up in your beds at night and dead to the world.

sugaredpotions

( filtered to Ravenclaw students; private )

( filtered to Marceline Abadeer; private )

( filtered to Mabel Pines; private )

( filtered to Peter Parker; private )

catblog

[How are you all doing Hogwarts? Hope you're doing well because Molly has no idea that the journal is on right now]

Hm...I wonder if this is right. Oh, I don't want to disappoint Toby by drawing him like this! Maybe I could add some more whiskers...

[Hi, Hogwarts, be prepared. There will a lot of cat drawings on her journal]

wwistful

Ravenclaw and Slytherin. It's been some time since I've assigned you work. I'd hate for your minds to wander while your professor is busy with near endless preperations, so I've taken the time to set you some busywork and warn you about your future curriculum.

First years, we will be studying the correct ways to treat and bandage wounds in an emergency. There will be practicals and you will be practising. I trust that the idea of bandaging a classmate won't throw you all into veritable fits of excitement.

In preperation for this I ask, Why put pressure on a bleeding wound?

Second years I'm sure you'll be thrilled to know we will be studying Cornish Pixies. If I'm feeling particularly magnanimous I may set one lose and have you attempt to catch it. I warn you, they do bite.

Third years can you tell me what the Lumos Duo spell is most commonly used in defence of? The answer will provide you with the subject of our next studies.

Fourth years as you've been informed, we are studying curses with a special attention to the unforgivable curses. I want you to name one and write me at least ten lines on why it has been deemed unforgivable.

Fifth years we will be studying the effective use of jinxes in battle and defence. I want you to name a jinx and write twenty lines on theoretical a situation it would be beneficial to use in.

Sixth years it is my great pleasure to announce that we are slowly ready to move on from the theory of nonverbal spells and we will begin to practise them. We will be starting with very basic spells, but remember that they take an immense amount of concentration. I advise that you rest up before classes.
You may rest, of course, once you write ten lines on the importance of nonverbal spells and what kind of things are important to perfect them. For example: To become proficient at nonverbal spells, one must become particularly good at focusing.

Seventh years will be going over theory with me and on Friday we will be having an in-class discussion about the psychological impacts of Dark Magic and curses. It will be a draining class, perhaps emotionally so. As with the sixth years, I advise you rest up and fortunately, you are free from the wrath of assignments.

Thank you and remember to ASK if you are in a state of complete and utter confusion. I would rather suffer through a stupid question than receive unsatisfactory work. It makes us both look bad when I grade you and I do so hate using red ink.

[[ooc: Homework goes here!! Also this is either back or forward dated so it doesn't clash with the event.]]

remembertheroses

Thank you to the person who gave me a picture of my parents! I was really missing them today and when I saw the photo it made me very happy, so thank you very much. :)

Also, I am sorry that I never introduced my goat. This is Garry.

He is a very sweet goat, but I think I have been feeding him too much vegetables. I will be taking him for a walk today for exercise.

[Filtered to Roxy Lalonde]

Hello Roxy. Are you doing better today?

seeringlight

Everyone is invited. I will not tolerate any complaints about who decides to attend. If someone you dislike happens to come, you will just have to be the bigger person and either be civil or keep your distance.

If you have any questions pertaining to the Tea Party, please contact me with your inquiries. Thank you.

Things have been...odd haven't they.

[Filtered to Roxy Lalonde]

I need to speak to you in person as soon as possible. Please.

cantfightthisfire

[At first when she wakes up, everything is normal. Perfectly normal. And then all of a sudden there is a very loud, very high pitched eleven year old boy's voice coming through the journals. If you're in Gryffindor tower, you'll probably see a very freaked out, panicking Jake English, and then.]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

[Seriously. SERIOUSLY WHAT IS GOING ON.

This is a dream isn't it? She's dreaming. She's having a nightmare. This is not happening. HOW THE FUCK IS SHE THIS THING?!

WHAT EVEN THE HELL.

It's a long time before any ink appears, as she attempts to wake herself up by pinching really hard. Multiple times. And yet she's still. This thing.

Finally she finds the journal because it's the only other option she can think of. The handwriting is shaky and weird, as if she isn't used to the hands she has now. Which... she isn't.]

What the fuck is going on?!

Someone fix this! Fix it right now!

[OOC: Replies will come from

flamingadventurer]

givesyouaboner

Orangina has a problem right now.
She kind of accidentally two tails and she's really confused. She keeps chasing after one of her tails in one direction, then the other touches her opposite side and she starts running around in the other direction.
Is getting "too dizzy" a thing for cats? She hasn't bumped into anything so I don't think she'll get brain damage.

_{[He was doing his homework when he contemplated what it would be like for monkeys to have two prehensile tails. Orangina isn't a monkey but she was the closest animal around. Oops.]}

fuckmackandme

ok so.
i already talked about this with karkat, but we should all speak about this.
those of us that uses coloured ink!
do we think we all try using duller tones for our colours in our public posts?
just in case, to keep snow out of our hair?
i mean, he looks all strict and stuff, he could come after our ink next.
what do you think?

givesyouaboner

_{[Dirk is probably more buttmad than he should be. He's calmed down several times, but then the moment he checks the journals again, he just goes right back to raging. Clearly this would be a sign to stay off them. But he's an eleven year old throwing a perpetual tantrum. Logical reason doesn't work in this instance.]}

I'm just noping so hard right now.
Noping into infinity.
On a skateboard. Ollieing into the sun. Disintegrating into a billion and one pieces.
This might be the last time anyone hears from me. Consider it be death by everything is stupid.

drivensnow

It has come to the Ministry's, and therefore my, attention that Hogwarts is in need of some... Assistance. Given the Headmaster's unfortunate inability to keep things under control at camp and even now under his very own roof, the Ministry has seen fit to appoint me High Inquisitor.

I can assure you that this is a very good thing, despite what you may be thinking and on behalf of the Ministry I would like to formally apologize for the events at camp. It is unfortunate that his carelessness would result in such an unfortunate occurrence. I can assure you that while I'm here, none of you will get so out of control.

You may have heard that it was dark magic responsible, but I can promise you that this was a lie made up only to justify a few rowdy teenagers. This will not be tolerated while I'm here, believe me. Everyone's safety is of my utmost concern, and it's up to me to prune the thorny hedges and keep everything nice and orderly.

With that said, I do not tolerate disobedience of any kind, and if I catch any kind of behaviour like what was displayed at camp, the consequences will be severe. This is the only warning I am going to give anyone. I fully expect to get along with every student here, however, so do not let my faith go unrewarded.

Finally, along with my position as High Inquisitor, I have also been appointed Herbology Professor. But considering the importance of the position, it would be best for you to refer to me as Inquisitor Snow rather than Professor.

itsintheblood

This year has certainly started off with a kick. The Ravenclaw tower was damaged and students seemed to think summer was still going on. I hope it's all out of your system by now.

Ravenclaw, congratulations on leading in the House cup already. I expect you to keep it up.

For Potions students fifth year and up in all Houses, I'll be opening up my room for extra use on weekends. This is to help you prepare for OWL's and NEWT's, not for goofing around and trying to make your butter beer a different color.

For students in Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, you'll be taking part in a year long project. Each student gets a goat and has to take care of it. Why? Bezoars come from the stomach of a goat, so we'll be harvesting them all year long. Don't worry, you won't have to kill them. There is a way to do this so they regurgitate it. So don't wear any new uniforms, wear an older one that you won't mind getting stomach acid on. Goats don't come in the school, they stay outside. If you get it killed, you owe me a goat and the money for the one you killed.

Quidditch tryouts are this weekend. Go see Tony Stark if you'd like to tryout for the team. Just because we're a House of higher learning, doesn't mean we can't play sports.

plushaeusrumpified

[OOC: Submit Homework Here]

Alright listen up, sproglets. And I mean that in the most loving way possible, so calm yourselves. ML starts Monday and before we dive headfirst into the fucking ins and outs of squeaking like a Mermaid and making orgasmic Troll noises, I need to see how you all can handle the English language.

Look up. First thing you see, write a rap about it. Six inches long, due Monday. If you're late, I'm kicking you out of my class. No exceptions, no second chances.

[Filtered to Dirk and Dave]

sup.
hows class goin.
you kids stayin outta trouble and shit?
gimme all the deets.
aint nobody given you any trouble are they?

also i may or may not have to talk to you guys about a thing one of these days but.
no rush.
but yeah ^ see above answer the questions all that jazz.

[Filtered to Vriska]

Hey. How's shit going? I haven't heard much out of you in a few weeks and just thought I'd check in.

bev_rage

[failed filter to teachers]

[Roxy's handwriting is shaky, near illegible and filled with heavily scribbled out sentences and large splotches of pink ink among other spots of wet parchment.]

cant com 2 class 2morow
~~my aunt snet me a lette~~
~~mu mum is mis~~
~~fuck~~
famly ~~shit~~ stuff came up
sry

givesyouaboner

Finally, I'm going to get to go to Diagon Alley. It's just a matter of hours.
I could offer an estimation of how many hours it is until this happens, but the majority of that estimation depends upon when my uncle actually decides to wake up.
Personally, I don't think I'll be sleeping at all. I've heard so many fascinating things about the place, so I'm thrilled to actually be able to visit.
The concept that such a place could have existed under my nose for all these years is astounding, but it makes sense, considering it's a wizard place and I didn't know a thing about it until I got my letter.
I'm to get my wand too, and this is this most significant thing that's on the agenda, because seriously?
Clothes shopping is boring, and as much as I enjoy books, I've gone book shopping before.
Never have I bought a cauldron, but that is beside the point.
I've been reading about them too, how the properties of each wand are significant and unique.
It makes me even more anxious to find out what my wand will be like, considering the wood and core are supposed to be telling about the type of person I am.
Or something along the lines of that.
There's supposed to be other things going on too, but I don't really know details on it. The whole wand thing definitely out-shadows it.
Who is going to Diagon Alley soon anyway? Maybe we'll see each other.
If you don't know what I look like, I'll probably be the kid with Dave.

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Entries tagged with roxy lalonde

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Eight Smuppets; Backdated to Friday

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