005

[rule_britannia]

It isn't normal for a stuffed snake to suddenly animate and attempt to crush your siblings, is it?

I'm rather sure I didn't make it do that.

[The above is scrawled out and messily cross-hatched over after this conversation, though still readable for anyone who's curious enough]

[Filtered to Alfred F. Jones]
I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU.

Comments

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

[There's a long pause before Alfred gets a response]

I suppose it was kind of funny.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

[Alfred's pretty much given up on the conversation, so the response is a surprise.]

What even happened? Do you mind me asking?

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

Phineas was.. being Phineas, and the bloody thing just shot at him and wrapped around his leg. He fell over and cracked his head open on the door handle.

Took them twenty minutes to get it off him.

I'm keeping it.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

Better his head than yours I'd say! That was kind of the point, anyway. I mean so long as he doesn't go and die or anything.

If you are going to keep it though, bring it to school. I did a really bad job on it, so it might not work again. Maybe I can fix it while we're at Hogwarts.

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

He won't die. He might act like he's dying though.

Are you actually asking me to bring a toy with a possibly botched charm on it into school with me? I've already had Professor Coulson warning me about it.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

Oh come on, it's not that bad. Its more like it was a weak charm. Its probably worn off by now.

I'm sure Professor Coulson wouldn't mind if I was "practicing" on an inanimate object. It's practice.

Maybe next time I'll make sure that it'll give your brother a reason to think he's dying

I can be more careful this time.

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

I'll think about it.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

Cool!
That being said...
Dude. Would your brother actually whine about a crack upside the head? Because I thought he was a grown-ass man. A wizard man. Not a bitch. =P

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

He's eighteen, and there was a lot of blood.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

...Oops. Sorry man. I mean I still think he deserved it but all the same I hope he'll be okay. I dont want to kill him.
I just.
You know.
Think its a comeuppance to someone who's been pickin on you for so long really.

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

I'll be sure to remember you said that.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

...Okay?

[It takes him a minute...then he kind of clues in.]

Oh well that's not to say I don't deserve some comeuppance I guess?

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

As soon as I've decided what I'm going to do to you, I'll let you know.

Or not.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

Man come on you'd tell me right?
Right?

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

Maybe.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

You can't do that.
I mean you can.
But please don't.

[There's a brief pause, then a very bad marker-drawing is pasted into the journal for Arthur to see.]

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

... What is that.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

An artistic rendering of my request. Pretty good huh? :)

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

And what exactly was it in aid of?

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

What do you mean in aid of? You mean what was it a part of? the part where I said don't be mean and make me all nervous waiting for you to do something?

[Filtered]

[rule_britannia]

If I'm goi

[The writing cuts off there, and it's a few minutes before any more words appear on the page, hurriedly scrawled]

I have to go.

[Filtered]

[allamericanreject]

Oh
Okay. Uh. Later?