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[givesyouaboner]

Orangina has a problem right now.
She kind of accidentally two tails and she's really confused. She keeps chasing after one of her tails in one direction, then the other touches her opposite side and she starts running around in the other direction.
Is getting "too dizzy" a thing for cats? She hasn't bumped into anything so I don't think she'll get brain damage.

_{[He was doing his homework when he contemplated what it would be like for monkeys to have two prehensile tails. Orangina isn't a monkey but she was the closest animal around. Oops.]}

Comments

[givesyouaboner]

This is a good argument, or it would be, if I was actually cool. The thing about this place is everyone already knows you and Dave so my coolness is by association only.

I don't mind that, it just makes that statement you made incorrect.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Dude, I was here maybe... fuck. A month before you even came? They didn't have time to see how awesome I am. And okay yeah, Dave's been here a while but I honestly don't think you're riding the coattails of his coolness, man. Any friends you have are purely from your own awesome, not his. Definitely not mine.

Because spoiler alert; everyone hated me when I get here.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Okay, you got him with that argument. Time to turn that right back around.]}

Why would anyone hate you?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He doesn't mind, so long as he's actually talking about shit that isn't his feelings for Murdoc.

Well okay, he does kind of mind. It's a shitty memory. He's glad he's managed to turn things around for himself, but still. It sucks remembering how bad it used to be.]

Because I made a really shitty first impression, and then I said some stuff I shouldn't have and it pissed off a lot of people. I definitely wasn't acting cool, that's for sure.

[givesyouaboner]

Is that why it's so important for you to make Professor Donoghue your friend?

[plushaeusrumpified]

[He wanted to facepalm, but he kept himself under control and just responded as casually as he could.]

Why are you so interested in Murdoc and I?

[...Murdoc and I.

Hrrrrgh.]

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Should he be frank? Yes. Yes he should.]}

Because you're making a big deal about not wanting to talk about it. Why don't you want to? I've talked to you about friends before.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Was he... really being that obvious about it? He'd thought he was at least being subtle. Fuck. How was he supposed to answer that?]

I'm not making a big deal about it! I mean- what's there to even talk about?

[givesyouaboner]

I don't know. You tell me?

_{[It's sinking in that he won't get an answer so he just shrugs.]}

There isn't a rule saying you gotta tell me.

[plushaeusrumpified]

There's nothing to say except I like him-!

[FUCK. NO. That was- no. No, no, no, that came out completely and totally- fuck it all. Just fuck.

Come on Bro, just come on. Smooth that one over. You're the master of deception and pokerfacing, just.

Fucking come on.]

As a person. Which is why I lied to him so I could get to know him better. It was stupid, but we all make mistakes. It's no big deal. We got over it and we're fine. That's all.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[The addendum isn't necessary. Dirk's naive in regards to relationships between adults. Of course, this is only aided by the fact that he hasn't liked anyone in a manner of more than friends only helps. So when Bro makes his accidental confession, Dirk takes it at face value.]}

Ohh, okay. In that case, I hope you become good friends, because I like you both. But don't become best friends because then I think it might hurt Cal's feelings. Second and third place best friends would hurt Dave's feelings, then mine. So he'll have to be fourth place.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[...Well that went better than he expected. Thank fuck for Dirk being young and naive, tbh. He nearly let out a sigh of relief, but stopped himself because that would be kind of suspicious. But god was he relieved.]

You got it, man. Really, there ain't nobody who could come before you guys.

[He pauses, really... seriously thinking about that.]

You know that right? I mean... no matter what happens, you come first. You and Dave. Nobody else. Got that?

[givesyouaboner]

_{[Dirk leans back against Bro's chest and tilts his head up again. Somehow this really comes as a relief even though he never doubted that to begin with. He holds his pinkie upward.]}

Pinkie promise?