Assistance Requested

[3potionproblem]

In the interest of an unbiased study into muggle behaviors and cultural discrepancies, I require a ^muggleborn female student to associate with me or at the very least permit me to engage in observational behavior including but not limited to tailing, watching from the shadows, and keeping close records on all activities, correspondence, and so on. Do not waste my time if you are already well aware that you are annoying and generally distasteful.

Please respond to this message with your interest. I will select the best candidate once all volunteers have come forward.

-SH

Comments

[3potionproblem]

I do not stalk people.

[speterman]

Really? Because that's what this really sounds like.

[3potionproblem]

It's a systematic means of observation. You move, I follow and jot down what you do. That isn't stalking it's science.

[speterman]

The Paparazzi call it photography, not stalking, but come on now, we all know what they're doing.

[3potionproblem]

Looking for a 'nipple slip' is not the same as detailing the habits of man.

[speterman]

Oh, right, forgive me, your argument is so valid I don't know what I was thinking. Silly me.

[3potionproblem]

You're forgiven.

[speterman]

Yeah, I was using that special thing called sarchasm again.

[3potionproblem]

May you fall into it.

[speterman]

I think I'm allergic to that sort of thing.

[3potionproblem]

I think we both attempted humor which somehow resulted in you making no sense.

[speterman]

No, it was more sarchasm.

Allergic to falling into chasms.

I was being witty, you just weren't.

[3potionproblem]

How can you have an allergic reaction to gravity?

[speterman]

You're missing the point.

[3potionproblem]

I'm beginning to think there isn't one.

[speterman]

How about instead of stalking a girl, you try to get a girlfriend?

[3potionproblem]

I have no need nor want of a girlfriend.

[speterman]

...Well, I mean, if you're... After a boyfriend stalking a girl isn't going to help with that... I assume...

[3potionproblem]

I rather miss the days when boys thought girls were gross and girls thought boys had cooties. People made a lot more sense when genitalia wasn't included in the thought process.

[speterman]

... I never thought girls had cooties.

[3potionproblem]

And at what age exactly did you first want to kiss one?

[speterman]

Not sure, I fancied a girl when I was seven but I never wanted to kiss her I don't think.

[3potionproblem]

Seven?

This is why we will never be amicable.

[speterman]

No, I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with my age of liking a girl and more of the fact that you're a sad sod.

[3potionproblem]

I'm not in any way morose. On the contrary, I'm rather looking forward to my new private studies.