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[rule_britannia]

Is anyone particularly knowledgeable about cats? 

Mine has taken to killing spiders and bringing them to me. I would very much like her to stop. Sometimes they're not completely dead and I have to put the poor things out of their misery. I'm not sure what I did that would make her think I'm incapable of hunting for myself or whatever thought is drifting about in her vapid feline brain, but any suggestions for deterrents would be appreciated.


[Filtered to Victoria Kirkland]
Are you writing home for this History of Magic assignment? I don't know about Aunt Chris and Uncle Tom, but my mother is going to be very interested in it.

Comments

[lefilschanceux]

I don't think there's much you can do to stop a cat from hunting... Or trying to teach you how to hunt.

I guess you could try to trim her nails so she can't scratch or climb, though.

[cantstarvethisfire]

It's a sign of love apparently. You just have to deal with it, or shoo it away before it drops the thing on your sheets.

[rule_britannia]

That's not a bad idea.

I don't think she's capable of feeling bad. She just manages to look terribly affronted when I scold her.

[rule_britannia]

I thought that's what she might be doing. I'm not sure why she's just started doing it now, though.

That's an option, I suppose. I doubt she'd take to it very well.

[rule_britannia]

That, while a good idea, unfortunately requires being awake when she drops them there. I'm usually not, I just find the things in the morning.

I suppose I should find it reassuring that she cares.

[za_rodina]

Maybe she thinks you're too scrawny.

[brothor]

Cats are evil, I know it to be true.

[rule_britannia]

Very funny, Ivan. How about I train her to drop them on you instead.

[rule_britannia]

She's bad-tempered at times but I don't know if I'd call her evil.

[za_rodina]

I think I would be very displeased.

[seeringlight]

I've been taking care of cats for quite awhile. You should have just came to me!

Cats hunt and bring things back because they wish for praise and they wish to give you something out of the bottom of their heart. They don't hunt to eat the things, which is why they aren't always dead.

There's no way to stop them, but you can probably train her so she doesn't leave dead animals everywhere.

[nunganunga_k_o]

There's not much you can do, she is just trying to help you, because you are too naked and helpless and stupid to fend for yourself in her cat mind. Angus used to bring me birds or other people's frogs as a present. And they weren't always alive.

[rule_britannia]

I've gathered that she's feeling the need to help me in some way but what I'm not understanding is why she's suddenly started doing it.

I think she's just trying to be contrary, if that's even something that cats do.

[rule_britannia]

Bloody hell, I should have thought of you first, I do apologise.

How would I go about training a cat?

[nunganunga_k_o]

Maybe she thinks you need a spider or two to fatten you up.

Trying to be contrary is practically all that cats do. Unless Angus thinks he's being friendly when he savages my new tights.

[brothor]

All cats are evil! It is fact. Some hide it better than others.

[rule_britannia]

Funny.

Maybe he thought he was doing you a favour.

[rule_britannia]

I'd like to see the evidence that you have to back up this claim.

[seeringlight]

No need to apologize.

You can show your cat with the next thing it brings ad bring it to wherever you want her to take it. Much like teaching your cat how to use the litter box. She's smart and she'll catch on, I'm sure. It may help to pay her for her hardwork with a treat as a positive reinforcement. Also, because she probably deserves it. I don't think I can ever not give into my cat and the adorable things Mutie does.

[brothor]

Have you not noticed strange behaviour in the entire feline population? They are not to be trusted.

[rule_britannia]

That's a good idea. I suppose if she's going to insist on this I might as well train her to leave the things where they won't wake me up by crawling onto my face in a crippled stupor.

[rule_britannia]

I've noticed them behaving like cats, if that's what you mean.

[cantstarvethisfire]

She doesn't drop them on your face, right?

It's part of the 'it's the thought that counts' philosophy.

[brothor]

It is in their nature to be evil, as you can see.

[nunganunga_k_o]

I don't typically go to my cat for fashion advice. He'd be all 'Oooo frog spawn is the newest thing' and 'have you seen my stylish puffskein fluff? It goes so nicely with the meal I just had'.

[rule_britannia]

And constantly attempting to improve your dress robes by shedding fur all over them. Or chewing on the cuffs.

I think this is a punishment, personally. I recently found out I've been referring to her by the wrong gender. She was a stray when I got her and I never got around to having her sex checked. Terrible, I know, but she'd go missing every time the vet was mentioned.

[rule_britannia]

I can see that it's in their nature to be cats.

Did you get bitten as a child, or something?

[rule_britannia]

Occasionally, she does.

You can only wake up with a half-dead spider on your face so many times before it starts to become tiresome.

[cantstarvethisfire]

You should consider make slippers out of her.

[rule_britannia]

That's a bit extreme, don't you think?

[brothor]

And their nature is selfish and cruel! They will manipulate you if you let them!

I get bitten by them near constantly.

[cantstarvethisfire]

I guess if you like cats it might seem that way.

[seeringlight]

That tends to be much more favorable.
Luckily, Mutie doesn't seem all that interested in hunting. Mutie's most formidable foe has basically been one of the balls of yarn in my yarn basket.

[nunganunga_k_o]

Well no wonder she is giving you disgusting presents, no girl wants to be called a bloke for months and months. A bit rude, actually. I hope you at least changed her name to a girly one.

[rule_britannia]

They can sense how you feel towards them, you know.

[rule_britannia]

Why would I be keeping a cat as a pet if I didn't like them?

[rule_britannia]

Perhaps I can divert her attention elsewhere. I'd rather not have her going off to kill things at all. With the odd happenings around the place since the beginning of the year it makes me somewhat wary to think of her out wandering the halls.

[rule_britannia]

I have apologised. I bought her a new collar and everything.

Her name is already androgynous, for the most part, so at least she was spared that.

[brothor]

I was nothing but nice until they brutally attacked me!

[rule_britannia]

There's a story here, isn't there.

[cantstarvethisfire]

Forced obligation from a sibling.

[brothor]

There is always a story! But that does not mean I intend on telling it to you!

[rule_britannia]

Aah, suit yourself. Keep your secrets if you must.

[brothor]

I shall! It is a terrible story and it should probably turn your loyalty away from your cat!

[rule_britannia]

I highly doubt that, I'm rather fond of her.

[brothor]

Then I shall allow it to remain that way.

[seeringlight]

I could knit her a mouse toy if you wish. A mouse made of yarn? Perhaps she'll take to it.

[rule_britannia]

You wouldn't mind? That sounds like a capital idea.

[seeringlight]

Of course not. The Holidays are coming up. I can add it to whatever I plan on giving to you next month.