sortinghat_rp | 04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

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04 [backdated to the early morning of the 19th]

[Filtered from teachers and any particularly detention-happy prefects]

[Inkblots. Oh God, inkblots, inkblots everywhere. And the following is scribbled hastily.]

Just woke up to quite a surprise and after nearly being shocked into having a damn heart attack, my biggest question is -

WHO THE HELL TAUGHT SHERLOCK HOW TO GET INTO HUFFLEPUFF?!

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It could be a mistake. It just hasn't proven itself to be one yet. You can't prove a hypothesis, you can only attempt to disprove it.

[John squints in thought, then looks up at Sherlock with a cocked and curious brow.]

So is there a point where you'd declare that mistake hypothesis completely disproved, or will this be running as long as we know each other?

[Sherlock gives that a thought.]

All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage.

I think, from an intellectual standpoint, there is really no arguing the point. Attachment will always lead to pain.

It's whether that still quantifies as a mistake, I suppose, that matters.

[John worries his lip a bit, thinking about Sherlock's rather bleak words.]

Well, then, that's why going at things from a strictly intellectual angle's just not going to cut it. You need emotion so you can look back on it all at the end and see if it was all worth it. You need a mix. Sort of like how the body can't take pure sodium or pure chloride, but put them together and you've got salt.

[Sherlock smiles at his use of chemistry.]

That's a fair enough point, I suppose.

Well, glad to hear it makes sense at all. Honestly, I think the only reason the salt thing popped to mind is because I'm thinking how nice it'll be on the eggs at breakfast.

You're downplaying your intelligence. No need. But as you seem to be hungry, let's not hesitate to get you to the banquet hall.

Right. Especially since it sounds like you'll actually be joining in eating, for once.

... though maybe don't start a food fight like you did back on your birthday.

That's the most fun you can have with food, though.

[John grins widely and almost lets slip the story of the time with his second girlfriend and the strawberries, but very quickly thinks the better of it. He clears his throat a bit more dramatically than necessary.]

Well, you may think so, but I'd rather not press our luck since we already beat the odds of escaping detention this morning.

[Sherlock shrugs, leading the way.]

I take it I'm not welcome back tonight.

Might be a bit much, yeah.

But... I suppose if there were an emergency or things were otherwise really bad, you could hide out there as long as you didn't get caught. Oh and before you get ahead of yourself, you're not allowed to intentionally make said emergency or mess things up just to have an excuse to sneak back into Hufflepuff. Clear?

John, it's as though you see me as one large potential problem that can be made and unmade in any configuration possible but always somehow into trouble.

You say that like it's not something for you to be immensely proud of.

[..okay, that gets a long, slow smile out of him.]

Perhaps a bit.

Alright, emergencies not of my making only. Excepting escapes from violent confrontations somewhat within my control.

Good. That's a deal.

[John smiles and holds out his hand to shake on the agreement.]

Also, you should make up with Tony, even if he did deserve the punch.

[Shakes his hand with a nod.]

I plan to just carry on as though it never happened so we can simply never speak on it again. Just a matter of discovering how much Bruce wants to talk to me about it. Can I add 'avoiding mother hens' to the list of excuses for infiltrating Hufflepuff?

Nope! You'll just have to put up with getting clucked at. You can only duck into Hufflepuff to avoid a mother hen if they try to peck your eyes out. And a stern talking to doesn't count.

I should have known you'd side with Bruce.

[sulk/scowl]

C'mon, don't act surprised. We both know there are plenty of people in this school who'd jump to conclusions and assume I'm just as bad a mother hen when it comes to you.

What can I say? Birds of a feather, right?

[He nudges Sherlock in the ribs and looks entirely too proud of that wretched pun.]

[Chuckles]

John, that was horrendous. Never do that again. England may fall from the devastation of your terrible puns.

[John gives a full laugh at that.]

Oh, come off it. It wasn't that bad. I'm capable of much worse, I'm sure.

I'm apt to believe you. Can't say I'm proud.

[Though he can't keep from smiling either.]

Suppose you had to have a flaw somewhere.

Hm, well, I could always weaponize them. Use them against our enemies. Pun-ish them, if you will.

[John waves his hand dismissively.]

Ah, come on, I've got loads of flaws beyond my sense of humor.

[Sherlock puts his hand over his eyes at a new bad pun. Oh, god, John is perfect.

And he hasn't the sense not to say so.]

John, given most parameters that human beings are judged based on, you're practically perfect.

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