01 Tick

[strideallknight]

fucking fuck i keep forgetting this damn thing exists
if i had a knut for every time ive mistaken this thing as a thing i could do my homework on would make me a very rich man indeed
my worst nightmares have to go something along the lines of this thing getting handed in instead of my actual homework
oh shit sorry professor strider i totally just fucking goofed up
i gave you the journal instead of my haikus in mermish
or even
oh shit sorry student body at large that i accidentally inflicted my pointless divinations homework on all of you
i thought it was my goddamn dream journal
silly me

ps bro if you make me write mermish haikus
i will not like it and you wont like it when i make it 1000 times worse

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

I could make a very obvious joke about nuts right now, but I'm not gonna.

Also fuck off, Mermish haikus are the best. But you know what's better than Mermish haikus? Troll ones. Have I said lately how much I fucking love Troll? It's the most beautiful language in the world. You know what? That's your new homework. Write me Troll haikus.

[strideallknight]

thank you for sparing me from the obvious

oh my god fuck you
shouldnt have said jack shit
i even knew it as i was typing that
my attempt to nip that in the bud has backfired so hard its unbelievable
i am not writing troll haikus fuck that shit

[plushaeusrumpified]

I really thought puberty would've helped you in that department but I guess if you needed some, you should've said so...

You're gonna write Troll haikus, Dave. It's gonna be a thing you do and it's gonna be a thing you love to do. I didn't teach you Troll so you couldn't ever use it. I will reiterate; Troll is the best language.

Appreciate it. Love it. Grunt out some beautiful haikus.

[strideallknight]

no i actually would like it lots if you refrained from it

bro your favorite language changes about once every other week
so no i will not appreciate it
i will not love it
and they will definitely not be beautiful
its troll haiku the fuck do you expect from grunts

[plushaeusrumpified]

Nut transplants are a thing, I've heard. I'm sure with magic it would be painless.

That is beside the point entirely. Troll makes the favorite more often than any other language, so excuse you. I'd say it's definitely in my top three. And I expect a lot from grunts. I'm telling you, it's a beautiful language.

Really eloquent and majestic.

[strideallknight]

bro
no

no pick another language
i swear ill do an extra credit troll assignment in the form of a sonnet if you give me a different language that has no relation to troll or mermish

[plushaeusrumpified]

Bro.
Yes.

What's your beef with Troll and Mermish? Besides Goblin those two are like the biggest magical languages there are.

Would you prefer to make Fairy haikus? You'd have to roll in glitter though, because you can't just speak fairy and not sparkle. It's against the fairy rules.

[strideallknight]

other than mermish being one of the first languages you ever taught me and the fact that troll has so far been mind numbingly easy
there is no beef i just hate writing haikus in any language

do you have a spell or anything thatll get the glitter off of me
because i aint doing it if i get sparkle herpes all over me for months
youll have to deal with a sparkle charm

[plushaeusrumpified]

Dave. No.

You're not going to write a haiku in Fairy, that's just not a thing I'm going to let you do. I'm too damn rusty on Fairy anyway. So. Sorry, kiddo. But you're gonna have to suck it up and write a mind numbingly easy haiku.

In Troll.

Which is my favorite language. Which you kind of just insulted.

[strideallknight]

bro yes

brush up on your fairy
youre a language professor ffs

ugh
fine
anything specific you want me to do

[plushaeusrumpified]

Excuse you, don't criticize my language skills. Do you know how often you have to use Fairy? Not very. It'd be easy to get fluent again though. There just ain't a high demand for it. Unless you wanna be the Fairy Princess.

Nope. Have fun winging it.

[strideallknight]

i didnt think there was a high demand for mermish either

i do better that way so its probably for the best

dude do you have a free weekend at all

[plushaeusrumpified]

There's always a high demand for Mermish. People are wild about Mermaids, didn't you know that? Or at least people who ain't ever seen a Mermaid. Did you know they're actually kinda fugly?

Good luck, kiddo.

All my weekends are free, in that all my plans tend to be pretty damn spur of the moment. Any particular reason you're asking?

[strideallknight]

seeing as ive never seen what a real mermaid is like
no i did not know they were fugly but now ive been informed
whenever i meet a mermaid in my life ill forever remember that you told me so and brace myself

well im about to have a free weekend by making one happen
we havent really hung out a whole lot outside of class and whatever break we get in the halls or whatever

[plushaeusrumpified]

You might be meeting one sooner than you think. What's the point of learning Mermish if you don't ever talk to an actual Mermaid? Nah, I plan to gillyweed everybody up and send you all in the lake one of these days. Maybe put on a show for 'em.

It has been a while since we've done shit together, hasn't it? Did you have anything in mind or d'you wanna play it by ear and see what happens when the weekend gets here?

[strideallknight]

i hope nobody in our class has hydrophobia
and this show had better not in some way make them want to kill us for insulting them
or get us into a weird ass marriage

nothings coming to mind
so i guess play it by ear
kinda used to the spontaneous bullshit after 14 years of 24/7 spontaneity

[plushaeusrumpified]

If anyone has hydrophobia, they're gonna have to get over it pretty fast because the field trip into the lake is not optional. And please, give me more credit than that. I would never let a student unwittingly enter into an interspecies marriage like that. It would be downright irresponsible.
I make no promises on the killing thing, however.

Speaking of spontaneous, look up and be ready to jump out the way.

[Nothing is going to happen, but he can't resist trolling Dave with the idea that something might.]

[strideallknight]

somehow i still wouldnt put it passed you
welp
better brush up on stunning spells

[And learn that filter spell Murdoc had been talking about for revenge.

Dave does look, mostly because of habit. Luckily there's nothing more sinister than his barn owl landing next to him, demanding attention.]

oh the inhumanity an owl
dont tell me you trained aphrodite something she shouldnt have learned

[plushaeusrumpified]

I find your lack of faith disturbing. I'm currently force choking you now.

Maybe I did.

Or maybe I'm going to now that you've given me the beautiful little idea.