Mark XIV

[arrogantalloy]

 For those of you not in Ravenclaw and kept saying this day would never arrive.

It did, it started over Easter and now I can proudly say that I have almost completely grown in a moustache.

And you know what, I really make this look good.

[To be fair, it still looks a little whimpy, but there's no mistaking it's moustachiness.]

Comments

[3potionproblem]

Why, how do normal people do it?

[arrogantalloy]

Uh. Staring at themselves in the mirror, wanking in the bath or something I guess?

[3potionproblem]

What's that supposed to reveal? Sounds ridiculous.

[arrogantalloy]

Let's you look at yourself, and something. I don't know, I've never really thought about it.

[3potionproblem]

I know my body just fine without the aid of mirrors. It's the intangible that's illusive.

[arrogantalloy]

What's the intangible then?

[3potionproblem]

Well, take sexuality for instance. How does one figure that out?

[arrogantalloy]

Um... Well normally that's from figuring out what in a person catches your eye the most on a person. How you feel around that gender?

[3potionproblem]

I hate stupidity. That more or less sums up my expectations from humanity. Not exactly helpful.

[arrogantalloy]

In your case, you're attracted to unassuming hufflepuffs that have more loyalty than caution. Who hoble.

[3potionproblem]

John does not hobble; I fixed that.

[arrogantalloy]

By rubbing his inner thigh?

[3potionproblem]

No, by planning to drown myself in the bathroom sink.

[arrogantalloy]

[There's a longish pause]

Personally, I'd have stroked his thigh over that.

[3potionproblem]

It's psychosomatic. Rubbing wouldn't have done any good.

[arrogantalloy]

He would have enjoyed it. So it would have done some good.

[3potionproblem]

When you say 'thigh' do you mean 'penis'?

[arrogantalloy]

Well I was thinking more, start with the thigh then work your way up. But yeah. Let's say I meant both.

[3potionproblem]

I'm relatively sure that requires an invitation.

[arrogantalloy]

Not if you do it right.

[3potionproblem]

There is no right way to randomly touch another person's genitalia without consent.

[arrogantalloy]

That's why you start with the thigh. Besides. You say that like John's going to spank your hand and go 'oh no you don't, sailor'

[3potionproblem]

I'm not a sailor.

And it would be more like punching or shoving than spanking.

I don't think you really have the best of intentions. Bruce is going to be stern with you, I can tell.

[arrogantalloy]

Why would Bruce be stern with me over what you're not doing to John?

[3potionproblem]

Because this is how your brain works and it's clearly a malfunction.