golgotha: (When they see my face.)
Jake English ([personal profile] golgotha) wrote in [community profile] sortinghat_rp2012-01-06 10:56 pm
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1 frightening fauna

The adventurers guide to the galaxy. London strain. Tomb hunter. European treasure?? Fisticuffs!! Oh blimey Scrums The lost skull Fisticuffs is actually a viable journal name No

Weekend at dangers
a Jake English journal


January 06 2012: A grand opening indeed.

Ahoy my good chaps! Lovely weather today aint it? My name is jake english as aforementioned. I am a fifth year hailing from the noble house of gryffindor. From this day henceforth this is officially now my journal! Or "wizard blog" as all the kids here call it these days.

Here i will recount all my smashing adventures -- tales of heroisms, intrigue, action, adventure and perhaps even romance. *A hearty wink for all the lovely ladies out there* It will be a primary source for all my peers out there fresh off the press!! I can tell this will be very gripping and i bet my bottom boonbuck you lot would also have a spanking ripsnorter of a time reading this.

Now onto the swashbuckling adventures!!

A couple weeks ago i brought out my arms and set off towards the one ruin of the island i reside in. The weather was rather harsh that afternoon. The rain splashed all over my face with an almost cruel intensity to make up for the absence of snows chilly ferocity. The sky was getting dark and the frightening fauna were sure to scour the area with blood lust in their eyes. It was as if the world was weaving an intricate web to deter me from my journey what with the way its coming together in perfect harmony to piss me the fuck off. Alas it did not win!! I gripped my pistols tighter and trudged on and persevered.

I reached the ruin at about seven. Hungry tired and excited i entered. The inside was pitch black. Luckily taking a page from ms lara croft the famous archeologist i came prepared with a flashlight. What did i find?

Friggin canned goods. The cans look so bloody old that it makes one wonder if the ancient mayans had can openers already. I went home disheartened and with an arm full of carrots and peas in a can. And then i played weekend at bernies in my dvd player! Have you guys watched it? If not i strongly suggest it. Its so friggin hilarious.

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thornsofoglogoth: (& Snark with a friend)

[personal profile] thornsofoglogoth 2012-01-06 03:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I had a spanking ripsnorter of a time indeed.
I suggest you ingest the contents of those cans forthwith and sample the ancient preserved produce. It will be like consuming history. Literally.
golgotha: (I can go the distance.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I did consume those canned goods actually.
Food is rather hard to come by in an island so i always make due with what i have just like a real explorer!! Though if one is to be perfectly truthful then one must admit that byzantine canned goods and shot and fried boars get a bit old.
Anyway they were scrumptious if not stale and i will happily eat more of them.
thornsofoglogoth: (& Pretty)

[personal profile] thornsofoglogoth 2012-01-06 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
It seems you know what you're doing. How bodes your stomach in the face of centuries-old victuals?
Perhaps you ought to preserve them for a day on which you are incapable of shooting boars. Additionally, you could always ask those of us who live in the civilised world to send you an owl full of supplemental nourishment.

I hope you kept the cans.
golgotha: (If i can be strong.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 03:25 pm (UTC)(link)
From what i heartell theyre boding quite nicely!
I suppose. That sounds rather bothersome though. I mean at times i visit jade and her grandpa and she always insist on feeding me but umm... *Loosens collar* I feel like such a burden.

I threw them out! Theyre rusty and they only take up space.
ificanmince: (what?)

[personal profile] ificanmince 2012-01-06 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Quite the story, my friend!
fashioneighsta: (ovo)

[personal profile] fashioneighsta 2012-01-06 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)
You did all of that during the holiday? What an adventure indeed... though I doubt you'll be able to do the same at Hogwarts.
golgotha: (Where the crowds will cheer.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Isnt it!!

You really must join me sometime my good bro.
golgotha: (I can go the distance.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Too true. Its a bit of a puzzling conundrum that i am just boggling to solve.

Perhaps i will try my hand at quidditch if there are spots left open! Besides that i havent the faintest idea. The floor is now open for suggestions and the like! After all sitting around and gathering dust is definitely not on my itinerary let me tell you.
selfhatred: (B<)

[personal profile] selfhatred 2012-01-06 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
I CALL BULLSHIT.
golgotha: (And i know every mile.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
What!! That is a preposterous accusation. All my stories are 100% true. Ask jade!
selfhatred: (hate you too)

[personal profile] selfhatred 2012-01-06 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
FIRST OFF, ASKING SOMEONE TO BACK YOU UP IS IMMEDIATE KNOWLEDGE THAT MY CALL OF BULLSHIT WAS TRUE.
SECONDLY, CANNED FOOD HAVE ONLY BEEN AROUND SINCE THE 1800S.
THIRDLY, WEEKEND AT BERNIES IS A SHITCROCK OF A MOVIE.
Edited 2012-01-06 21:33 (UTC)
golgotha: (Default)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Firstly ive no intentions to lie! I prefer being honest and frankly the idea of lying makes me a tad uncomfortable. But as it stands ive no evidence to support this but jade knows all about my adventures and she is very honest so ask her.
Secondly i know. I may have a few shortcomings but i know canned goods dont date back to babylonian times. Im not a bumbling moron!
Thirdly that is your opinion. I daresay it is you that has awful taste in movies.
thornsofoglogoth: (& Pretty)

[personal profile] thornsofoglogoth 2012-01-06 10:01 pm (UTC)(link)
No rancid flatulence based on items well past their sell-by date? I'm surprised.
What's so burdensome about being fed by relatives? I'd cherish the free food, personally.

You threw them away? What if they were important artefacts, Jake? Have you no archaeological sense?
selfhatred: (might as well fry my think pan)

[personal profile] selfhatred 2012-01-06 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
HARLEY'S AS FUCKING HONEST AS A FUCKING NUN. STILL DOESN'T MEAN I'M GOING TO ASK HER.
WHAT IS IT WITH EVERYBODY SAYING MY TASTE IN MOVIES IS SHIT? MOONSTRUCK AND SWEET LIES ARE EXAMPLES OF FUCKING HUMAN GENIUS.
golgotha: (This is where im meant to be.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 10:06 pm (UTC)(link)
None at all! Im just as surprised as you are. I have a belly made of hard steel apparently.
Thats the problem!! None. But as it stands theyre merely island neighbors and i dont want to intrude. Gosh her grandpa is a real stand-up gent already. Hes so friggin awesome.

Oh kicking christ in a diaper i havent considered that!!! Shit. When i get back home i must collect them posthaste. Thanks rose.
golgotha: (This is where im meant to be.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Um...
Im inclined to agree. Though they were a tad too girly those are really good movies actually!!!
selfhatred: (deadpan)

[personal profile] selfhatred 2012-01-06 10:10 pm (UTC)(link)
THEY'RE CALLED ROMCOMS FOR A REASON, ENGLISH.
golgotha: (Default)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Pray tell what reason is that?
selfhatred: (sick of dealing with idiots)

[personal profile] selfhatred 2012-01-06 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
ROMCOMS.
ROMANCE COMEDIES SPECIFICALLY AIMED AT WOMEN.
A TYPICAL ROMANTIC COMEDY WILL OFTEN HAVE TWO PEOPLE, SEEMINGLY DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER YET ARE KEPT APART BY COMPLICATIONS SUCH AS ONE HAVING A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY WHO KEEPS SHOWING UP. WEDDING BELLS ARE PRETTY MUCH EXPECTED AT THE END OF ONE, OR AT LEAST HINTS OF A SEQUEL.
golgotha: (I can go the distance.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 10:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Men can enjoy romcoms as well!
I love quite a handful of them. So do you!!!
selfhatred: (e-ehhh??)

[personal profile] selfhatred 2012-01-06 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
YES BUT THE TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC IS USUALLY TOWARDS WOMEN HAVING EMOTIONAL TROUBLES IN THEIR LIVES.


...YOU LIKE ROMCOMS?
golgotha: (Where the crowds will cheer.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I adore romcoms i think theyre a blast! Theyre very hilarious!!!!
I dont admire them as much as say superheroes but theyre definitely on my top 10 movie genres. Haha i have rather eclectic tastes.
selfhatred: (spades in my eyes)

[personal profile] selfhatred 2012-01-06 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
WELL THAT'S A FUCKING CHANGE. FINALLY SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH MY TASTE.
AT LEAST SOME OF IT I GUESS.
golgotha: (This is where im meant to be.)

[personal profile] golgotha 2012-01-06 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
You have amazing tastes so far!!!
selfhatred: (heh)

[personal profile] selfhatred 2012-01-06 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
SO FAR? MY TASTE IN MOVIES IS FUCKING AMAZING.
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