[ journal / 01 ]

[flirtini]

so
dear magical diary: got fuckin WASTED yesterday, shit was cash
until today i mean
bc damn hangovers are a hell of a NOT FUN
note 2 self: lay off the sauce for a while

so besides this partying i am all doing in my moms basement alone with my 100000000000000000 cats
smth interesting happened
got kicked out of beauxbatons
got set up with hoggy
got sent a MAGICAL oh so magical oh so sparkling oh so like a paintchat diary
but like
how does this shit even WORK....
magic is how

anyways the interesting thing that happened
lets talk about that
or write
its like
this owl comes screaming down
sliding thru the air like a hot knife through butter
like a bat out of hell
like steam from boiling water
and just.
slams into the window.
and drops this book down into the garden

im fucking surprised it didnt just break right through i mean it was a BIG OWL
but like
the point is
i got owls screeching n flying into windows
i got cats meowing and running into the patio door
where the fuck are the toads
just hopping and ribbiting and trying to eat flies that are on the other side of the glass
a pathetic site of nature and a mockery of actually getting the dins

anyways i hear my mom so im gonna stop writing
ha ha who is gonna buy that BALONEY bologne balonga?
how the fuck do you spell that shit
this is my abrupt cut off xoxoxoox goodbye

Comments

[stubbornskeptic]

Drinking is a bad idea for a lot of reasons, actually.
And this isn't a private diary entry, I'm afraid!
My name's Jane.
And I'm sure you'll love Hogwarts!

[flirtini]

zzzzzz
wat is this
oh is it maybe
perhaps
my diary talking to me????
are there multiple ppl in this journal bc this one
this one right here
seems kinda boring if u get me
kinda.......... the death of the party if u get me
but lol there needs to be balance in this world of the grandiose party
i am the life and this book is the death
the party will live on tho because this cycle of life and death is in like...
rotation
like reincarnation but with confetti and vodka

DAMN that is some philisophical shit

anyways hey diary
dear diary,
today i met a tightass inside of a book
g2g have a good one
- ro to the lal

[stubbornskeptic]

I am not a book!
Nor am I a tightass!
And I only said that based on experience anyway!
Tightasses don't generally boogie their way into experience to begin with!

[flirtini]

did some1 spill some booze cause that hardly counts as exp
cuz im p sure ur a book
wowowowo magic sure is smth look at this hocus pocus fuckin BRILLIANCE
man i love bein a witch magic is the shit

[stubbornskeptic]

I'm a witch too, you silly goose!
The book is hooked up with the rest of Hogwarts' staff and students!
Did you really think they'd just send you an ordinary journal?
Whatever would be the point of it?

[flirtini]

well its obv SOME sort of magic like normal diaries dont go and write back
but im not buying ur story
hooked up to staff and students??? shit thats too nuts even for magic its just bizarroland uncoolsville
how did anyone ever even THINK about that

[stubbornskeptic]

Well, it lets us keep in touch over the summer, for one!
I'd imagine that's why you received one before the school year began.
Didn't they send a letter or something with your journal?