FOUR ♋

[selfhatred]

[The page is a myriad of crossed out sentences, most of them unintelligible, before it finishes in one sentence. This was also meant to be private but Mr Crabbypants forgot about that.]

I'M SORRY.

[After a few minutes that's scribbled out too and then this appears]

I'LL BE IN THE OWLERY IF ANYONE NEEDS ME.

Comments

[selfhatred]

I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

FUCK. I'LL COME DOWN AND GET YOU. BETTER THAN MOPING UP HERE IN THE RAFTERS ANYWAY.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

uHHH, nO IT'S OKAY,
iF YOU'RE THERE ALREADY THEN, tHAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH OF A BOTHER,

[selfhatred]

IT'S NO FUCKING BOTHER.
YOU NEED TO START LEARNING THAT WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS YOU FUCKING HELP YOU FUCKING TAKE IT.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

uHHH, yEAH YOU'RE RIGHT, i GUESS MAYBE IT'S A LITTLE RUDE,
i JUST, uH,
nO, nEVERMIND, i'LL BE THERE SOON,

[Tavros arrives at the steps leading up to the owlery a little while later, looking kind of nervous.]

[selfhatred]

[Karkat is already waiting at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against one of the wide, snow covered stone railings. He's bundled up again, the area around his eyes showing a little pink tinge, gaze narrowed but without the anger behind them that's usually there. Instead there's something that looks a little like regret.]

It's about time, douche.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

[Tavros tries not to look overly hurt at the insult. It's Karkat, he should be used to that, right? It helps that Karkat doesn't look...mad, but Tavros can't tell exactly what it is in his expression.]

Uhh, sorry. Next time I'll try and be faster.

[selfhatred]

[It's not like he means anything by it. Tavros was actually one of the only people he vaguely got along with, so it was more of an affectionate slur than anything by now. Karkat leans away from the wall, moving to behind the Hufflepuff's wheelchair in order to help him up the stairs.]

Sorry. It's no big deal. I'm just kinda wound up at the moment.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

Really? Uh, what's wrong?

[It's not like Karkat to really admit to something being wrong, so he's a little concerned.]

[selfhatred]

Nothing. It...it doesn't matter.

[He doesn't like it when people are concerned about him, okay?]

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

[Oh but he's Tavros, of course he's concerned.]

Uhhh, if there's something wrong then of course it, um, matters. But I won't push if, uh, you don't wanna talk about it.

[selfhatred]

[He's quiet for a moment as he helps Tavros wheel up to the top of the stairs. He doesn't really want to talk about it, not at all. He gets enough of it out with his uncle. There's no point in dragging other people into his problems.]

So what're you sending?

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

Oh, um... Just a note letting mum know that I'll be coming home for the, uh, easter holidays.

[He lets out a small sigh.]

I think I'm really, uh, looking forward to getting away for a while.

[selfhatred]

Yeah? Must be nice.

[Not that he probably wasn't going home for the holidays, if his uncle could drag him into them. He didn't mind the whole aspect, but when you had about twenty Catholics trying to shove their religion down your throat during church service it just made him want to scream.]

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

Yeah, uh... It's pretty nice, I guess. You're not going home? Um, you could always come to my house, uhh... if you don't have plans.

[selfhatred]

I don't really have a home. I just live with my uncle. I think Nepeta's gonna try dragging me onto the train anyway.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

Uhhh... If you live with your uncle, doesn't that mean that's your home?

[selfhatred]

I guess but it never feels like it. I just feel like I intruded on them.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

Umm, why do you think you're intruding on them? Family isn't, uh, supposed to make you feel that way.

[selfhatred]

Yeah, well, it probably wouldn't if my dad didn't decide to just ship me off to England to live with someone I've never fucking met.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

[...Well what do you say to that.]

Why'd he, uh... do that?

[selfhatred]

He's in the military. He doesn't have time to fucking look after a kid he's never even fucking bothered with.

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

Oh... I'm sorry, Karkat. But, um, what about your mum? Is she in the military too?

[selfhatred]

She's dead.

1/2

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

[Oh goddddddddddddd no no no, he feels like the worst human being in the world right now. Jesus christ. Nooo. He is the worst human being in the world. He feels so freaking bad. Oh god.]

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

K-Karkat, I'm... I'm so sorry!