Two Sick Beats

[clockspinner]

_{[It's....technically Sunday. And yes, the timestamp is in fact completely accurate. 0457 GMT.]}

WHERE IS HE?
BRO I FUCKING KNOW YOURE SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKING CASTLE
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOURE DOING HERE
OR HOW THE FUCK YOU GOT IN OUR ROOM
BUT I KNOW YOURE HERE SOMEWHERE AND I WILL FIND YOU

<sub>[Karkat and John (as well as most of Gryffindor Tower) just got the rudest awakening of the year. Namely, Dave screaming like the star in an exorcism movie and flailing out from under a massive, multicoloured pile of his brother's signature smuppets. Y u p.

Happy Parent's Day, everyone!]</sub>

Comments

Private

[clockspinner]

no no i think were on to something here
you dont want me macking on rose
because that would make it awkward for you to get your hands all over her mom
i have seen through your plan
and it involves getting your hands all up over some classy lalonde booty
dont worry man
im not gonna judge
i can be accepting and shit too

Private

[stridingironically]

oh my fucking. god.
dave youre so.
yes.
yes you caught me.
i want to get all up in the fucking bed with lalonde.
alcoholics are my fucking weakness dave.
i have the undying urge to suck the booze from her nipples and get sloppy drunk and make god damn passionate love with her until we both pass out from sheer drunk exhaustion.

Private

[clockspinner]

that is the most disturbing and disgusting description i have ever heard
i didnt need to know about roses moms nipples bro jesus dick
also fuck its confusing calling both of them lalonde

welp if the wedding bells start ringing you know i got your back
ill be your best man
so long as you let me get trashed at the reception
so that i can forget that you intend to bang her through the mattress

Private

[stridingironically]

you were the one who fucking started it.
so build a bridge.

dave youre enough of a dumbass right now.
you dont need the booze.