Two Sick Beats

[clockspinner]

_{[It's....technically Sunday. And yes, the timestamp is in fact completely accurate. 0457 GMT.]}

WHERE IS HE?
BRO I FUCKING KNOW YOURE SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKING CASTLE
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOURE DOING HERE
OR HOW THE FUCK YOU GOT IN OUR ROOM
BUT I KNOW YOURE HERE SOMEWHERE AND I WILL FIND YOU

<sub>[Karkat and John (as well as most of Gryffindor Tower) just got the rudest awakening of the year. Namely, Dave screaming like the star in an exorcism movie and flailing out from under a massive, multicoloured pile of his brother's signature smuppets. Y u p.

Happy Parent's Day, everyone!]</sub>

Comments

[thornsofoglogoth]

So it seems I have finally been afforded the chance to meet The Man.

I think I shall look forward to it.

[clockspinner]

oh shitting christ
this is not a thing to look forward to rose

i mean yeah shit if you really want to
youll probably like him

[thornsofoglogoth]

Will I?
I'll put on my best shades and preen a little in anticipation.

[stridingironically]

well hot damn.
didnt know i was The Man around here but shit ill take that title and wear it motherfuckin proudly.

[thornsofoglogoth]

Speak of the devil!
I've heard so very much about you from Dave, in my estimation you suit the epithet impeccably.

[stridingironically]

oh hey.
i take it you got my present.
picked em all out special.

[Spelled private]

[clockspinner]

you are dead to me
i have no brother

nope no privacy

[stridingironically]

dave. DAVE.
thats no fucking way to talk to your own flesh and blood.
i demand an apology or so help me ill spank you.
i will spank you right there in front of everyone at breakfast.
with a fucking paddle.

[nosigntospeakof]

YOU'RE AWAKE EARLY, MR. STRIDER.

[clockspinner]

i woke up with a foam phallus down my throat of course im awake

[nosigntospeakof]

AH.
EITHER YOUR BROTHER HAS ARRIVED EARLY FOR PARENTS' DAY OR THERE ARE THINGS GOING ON IN GRYFFINDOR TOWER THAT KARKAT ISN'T TELLING ME.

[selfmakeout]

:o
he is really here???
seriously???

oh nooooo

[clockspinner]

yeah hes here
rudest wake up call ever

[stridingironically]

sup.

[selfhatred]

WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK?
IT'S ASS O'CLOCK IN THE GODDAMN MORNING.
YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO AT THIS TIME?
SLEEP.
YOU KNOW, LIKE FUCKING NORMAL PEOPLE.
I DIDN'T NEED A FUCKING SCREAM IN MY EAR THAT SOUNDED LIKE SOMETHING FROM THE GRUDGE OR ANY FUCKING THING.

[stridingironically]

and thats a right good morning to you too sunshine.
dont mind him.
he just cant appreciate the present i left him.
nbd.

[clockspinner]

you saw the mountain of smuppet dick i was choking on this morning vantas
sorry my waking up with an obstructed windpipe was such a fucking inconvenience for you
im sure you would have rather me just lay there and suffocate on foam fucksticks

the one thread i can't threadhop on /sob

[i_bullieve_i_can_fly]

> Hours in the future. But not many.

hAH,

[clockspinner]

what the hell are you laughing about

[fuckmackandme]

his puppets are even creepier in person...

[clockspinner]

y e p
my life in technicolor

[stridingironically]

hello john.

[stridingironically]

yo dave ima let you finish denying shit and everything but.
the fuck is this i hear about you getting your ass kicked after a rap battle.
what the actual fuck.

[clockspinner]

my fucking roommate flew over the table and socked me in the gut
i won the rap battle and my roommate is about as threatening as a chihuahua
i wasnt gonna stoop to his level and acknowledge his whiteknighting bullshit

besides at the time he was harleys boyfriend
then five minutes later he wasnt but thats beside the point

[yerawwizarderi]

wwhats the matter strider somebody shovve a snake dowwn your trousers