Two Sick Beats

[clockspinner]

_{[It's....technically Sunday. And yes, the timestamp is in fact completely accurate. 0457 GMT.]}

WHERE IS HE?
BRO I FUCKING KNOW YOURE SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKING CASTLE
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOURE DOING HERE
OR HOW THE FUCK YOU GOT IN OUR ROOM
BUT I KNOW YOURE HERE SOMEWHERE AND I WILL FIND YOU

<sub>[Karkat and John (as well as most of Gryffindor Tower) just got the rudest awakening of the year. Namely, Dave screaming like the star in an exorcism movie and flailing out from under a massive, multicoloured pile of his brother's signature smuppets. Y u p.

Happy Parent's Day, everyone!]</sub>

Comments

[thornsofoglogoth]

You know I would passively-aggressively challenge her assertions with the tenderest of feelings.

It sucks, but that's how we do it - which is better than not doing anything about it all.
And it's such a pity you aren't a sissy girl, Dave. It would suit your pretty face marvellously. I suppose "sissy boy" doesn't have as much of a ring to it.

Perhaps I would have harboured an embarrassing homocrush for you if it were the case.

[clockspinner]

i like the way we striders do things just fine
completely uncomplicated
no feelings attached

dont you know lalonde striders get their feelings glands removed on their thirteenth birthday

i am supremely disappointed that i wont be able to earn the affection of the truly choice babes
i am just falling down all this disappointment rose what shall i do

[thornsofoglogoth]

There's a difference between emotional simplicity and psychologically stunting oneself.
Attempting to surgically excise feeling from your life is like trying to gouge out melanoma with a teaspoon.

However, if you are in dire need of alleviation for your disappointment à la la Carl Jung and Sabina Spielren, you know how to find me.

[clockspinner]

y e p
and look i know youre just salivating to get your teeth into bro so you can find out all sorts of strider secrets
but just know that approximately 80% of everything he says is just to fuck with you
like your mom except instead of passive aggressiveness
its just straight up aggressiveness

[thornsofoglogoth]

I'm positively licking my chops in anticipation. You Striders - so stoic, so enigmatic, so invigoratingly chill. How will I ever get behind the shades and into the details of your cognitive psychology?

I'd certainly be happy to draw at least a little blood, and being fucked with in a more straightforward fashion could be entertaining - but I suppose one needs to be realistic.
I'll keep your advice in mind.