Two Sick Beats

[clockspinner]

_{[It's....technically Sunday. And yes, the timestamp is in fact completely accurate. 0457 GMT.]}

WHERE IS HE?
BRO I FUCKING KNOW YOURE SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKING CASTLE
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOURE DOING HERE
OR HOW THE FUCK YOU GOT IN OUR ROOM
BUT I KNOW YOURE HERE SOMEWHERE AND I WILL FIND YOU

<sub>[Karkat and John (as well as most of Gryffindor Tower) just got the rudest awakening of the year. Namely, Dave screaming like the star in an exorcism movie and flailing out from under a massive, multicoloured pile of his brother's signature smuppets. Y u p.

Happy Parent's Day, everyone!]</sub>

Comments

[fuckmackandme]

his puppets are even creepier in person...

[clockspinner]

y e p
my life in technicolor

[fuckmackandme]

at least he can't shoot his videos here.

[clockspinner]

if anyone could find some magical video camera that works here it would be him
more like at least hell only be here for a day
i am definitely coming over for easter btw
count me the fuck in on that

[fuckmackandme]

awesome!
i'll tell dad...
...
when he's not baking.

[clockspinner]

man the house elves need to tell him to step the fuck down
and get the hell out of their kitchen

[fuckmackandme]

i'm surprised they even let him in there.

[clockspinner]

i mean they kind of have to dont they
i dunno i have no idea how house elves work
we dont have one

[fuckmackandme]

i don't know.
i've never even seen one.

[clockspinner]

...clearly a kitchen raid is in order
to drown our sorrows in savory foods
after all this parents day bullshit is done

[fuckmackandme]

yes!
let's do it!

[stridingironically]

hello john.

[fuckmackandme]

oh!
hi.

[stridingironically]

surprised they let me in huh.
what the fucks that about.
here i was happy as fuck to see you.
and this is the warm welcome i get.
thought you were nicer than that.
i mean what if i dont give dave my blessing in a few years.
because wow man that hurt deep.

[fuckmackandme]

what blessing?

[stridingironically]

you know.
the one that eventually leads to an aisle.
and then a fuck ton more if you go grocery shopping together.
but some people go solo for that.
they just need their space yknow.

[fuckmackandme]

what?
but dave and i aren't getting married!

[stridingironically]

yeah i know.
because i didnt give you my blessing dipshit.
talking about me behind my back.
slandering my good name.
why would i want you in the family.
if you fucking elope i will hunt you down personally.
you know what happens to egberts when they fall from high places.






the same thing that happens to everything else.

[fuckmackandme]

did...
did you just threaten to kill me?
even though i have not, and never will have intention of eloping with dave?

[stridingironically]

its only a valid threat if you elope.
otherwise they wont do jack shit.

[fuckmackandme]

they?
who's they?
who else is involved in this assassination attempt that will never happen?

[stridingironically]

john look down at yourself. now back to me (which is the journal dipshit).
now back down.
now look up.
where are you.
youre in your dorm with the man of your nightmares.
whats in youre hand.
its a smuppet.
now back to me.
NOW BACK TO THE SMUPPET.
it is now blue and brought friends.

they are glaring at you ferociously.
you messed with their daddy.
be afraid.

[Which is to say, John is now covered in smuppets.]

[fuckmackandme]

[sorry but there's nothing but a bunch of dis organized lines and ink blotches as John struggles to get the smuppets off him.]

[stridingironically]

[No problem. He can wait.]

[fuckmackandme]

ew ew ew ew ew ew!