sortinghat_rp | (no subject)

same way bro brought all of his fucking smuppets
magic egbert
duh

i know...
but...
couldn't they have gotten squished anyway?
there's so much cake dave...
so much...

shhhhhh
no tears now
only obscene amounts of baked goods

maybe if i cry all over them and ruin the frosting and flavour he'll throw them out.

that is a waste of food
just share with the rest of the school
theres no way he expects you to eat all that by yourself
it weighs twice as much as you do

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fuckmackandme - 2012-03-18 18:09 (UTC) - Expand

I somehow think we should be less astonished by the sheer number of shitty presents that have been bestowed upon all of us.

this is all too shitty to be called presents!

Point acknowledged.
What will you do with all the excess?

i don't know, put it in the common room for whoever wants it or something.

At least they might be construed as vaguely beneficial. Perhaps your display of generosity will make you popular with your house-mates?

[Private]

I appear to have offended my mother.
Oops.

[ DRAMATIC INK DROPS ]

Shitty?

[ Oh fuck she forgot to filter this oh fuck ]
Oh.
Mother! ~~I wasn't expecting you to be checking the other journals!~~
Of course, I was simply referring to John's unfortunate stash of baked goods and the Striders' penchant for plush proboscis as shitty!

~~Please don't reach for the bottle.~~

[ IS THAT MORE DROPS?! Rose you're making your mother realize she's doing horrible, stop it, stop it at once! ]

It's alright Rose, I knew what you meant. I'm just forgetting you're not my little girl anymore, and you're growing up into a fine young lady! It's alright honey, you don't have to stay with mommy, you can go have fun with your friends. I won't stay long.

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IS IT REALLY THAT MUCH CAKE?

yes!
and he's baking more!
right now!

IS THIS A NORMAL OCCURRENCE WITH YOUR FATHER, MR. EGBERT?
OR IS IT BECAUSE IT'S A SPECIAL OCCASION?

he always bakes a lot.
but it's worse on special days.

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fuckmackandme - 2012-03-18 18:08 (UTC) - Expand

A simple levitation charm. I would offer to show you, but I'm sure they taught it in first year.

Hello, son. It's good to see you

hi dad.
it's good to see you too.

I brought you a present. Besides the cake, of course. Your first can of shaving cream! I know puberty can be rough, bud. But at least you can have a smooth face.