Two Smuppets

[plushaeusrumpified]

yo bitches.
im gonna get real with you all for a sec.
cuttin the bullshit throwin out the ironies.
some shits come up and i gotta go for a while.
banks youre responsible for the entire class now.
dont fuck it up.
my spies are watching you.

well fuck i just realized that sounds pretty goddamn suspicious doesnt it.
bet youre thinking i molested somebody.
and that im on the run.
fuck you have a little more faith.
my bro died if you must know.
its real fucking tragic.
i hear lifetimes already tryin to get the rights to the movie.
anyway yeah.
peace out and ill see you fuckers after summer.

[Filtered to Dave]

so.
guess whose comin to live with us.

Comments

[selfhatred]

YOU CAN INSULT ME ALL YOU WANT BUT YOU
DO
NOT
BRING
MY MOTHER, MY AUNT OR MY FUCKING FRIENDS INTO THIS.
YEAH, SO MAYBE I DON'T DESERVE THEM
BIG DEAL
I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT
YOU THINK I CARE HOW GAY IT APPARENTLY IS THAT I LIKE ROMCOMS?
I DON'T.
PICK NEW THINGS TO BITCH AT ME ABOUT BECAUSE I'VE HEARD THIS ALL BEFORE.

[glaringprotego]

Karkat, please don't reply anymore. I understand you're upset but you should just stay off the journals for the moment.

[selfhatred]

WHATEVER. I WAS DONE ANYWAY.

[plushaeusrumpified]

thats what you said last time fucko.

[selfhatred]

SUCK MY DICK, ASSHOLE.

filtered

[nosigntospeakof]

KARKAT, WHERE ARE YOU?

filtered

[selfhatred]

[The response takes a while because Karkat actually shut his journal, so when he sees this it's late.]

owlery

filtered

[nosigntospeakof]

Thank you.

[Sal closes his journal and solemnly makes his way to the owlery. Time and lateness are no matter when his nephew is in need of a hug and a talk.]

action

[selfhatred]

[Sal will find Karkat there, sitting on one of the larger window sills, knees drawn up and looking out at the school grounds. His book bag is slumped down on the floor, journal on top of it.]

action

[nosigntospeakof]

[Sal knows better than to surprise Karkat. He makes sure to take heavy, deliberate steps on the stairs and stops a few stops short of his nephew's back.]

Hey.

action

[selfhatred]

[Karkat doesn't turn around when he hears his uncle's footsteps. He's listened to them long enough to know who it is that's coming in. He also doesn't turn his head to acknowledge Sal's presence, but his shoulders hunch a little more.]

Come to tell me I shouldn't yell and cuss at teachers?

action

[nosigntospeakof]

No. [Sal steps around him and takes a seat beside him, legs danging off the window's ledge.] I came to see if you were alright after Mr. Strider's rude and uncalled for treatment.

action

[selfhatred]

[The younger Vantas snorts into his arms, something that vaguely sounds like a sniffle before he rubs his nose against the sleeve of his robes.]

I've lived in the same dorm as Dave for the last three fucking years. I can take anything Strider throws at me. [Lies]

action

[nosigntospeakof]

[You are the worst liar. It is you. Sal reaches over and wraps his arm around Karkat's shoulders.]

We both know that's not true, Karkat.

action

[selfhatred]

[He tried to ignore the arm but he ended up leaning into his uncle's embrace anyway. His fingers gripped the sleeves of his robes, knuckles slightly bruised from punching the owlery wall repeatedly when he'd first got here. It was a habit, but also because nobody would notice here. Everyone just came up to the owlery to post letters, it wasn't like they actually stuck around.]

Just let me pretend it is, okay?

action

[nosigntospeakof]

[His grip tightens just a touch.]

It's okay to not be okay. He said some awful things, I'd be shocked if you didn't get upset. Even I got angry when I saw the things he was saying.

action

[selfhatred]

[A light, bitter laugh escaped Karkat's throat.]

Between Strider and Zahhak I haven't gotten a fucking break in the last couple of weeks. I'm surprised I haven't exploded from all this anger.

action

[nosigntospeakof]

We need to find you a healthy outlet obviously. Something you can channel your feelings into so they're not pent up all the time.

Like your singing perhaps?

action

[selfhatred]

[A bright red flush curled across his face and he buried his face a little more into his arms.]

I don't like people knowing I can sing. It's...it's just kind of embarrassing. Besides, it'd give everyone more reason to call me [a small swallow of breath and his next word is whispered] gay

action

[nosigntospeakof]

I don't see what's so embarrassing about it. You have a very nice voice. [...Ah, there's the rub.]

So what if they do? There's nothing shameful about it.

action

[selfhatred]

[Karkat glances out the corner of his eye at his uncle. Nothing wrong with it? He shook his head before turning his attention back to the school grounds]

When dad used to come home he'd always make sure I hadn't started liking guys while he was away just because I only lived with mom. He even confiscated Annabelle for six months just to make sure, because a violin's not a man's instrument.

action

[nosigntospeakof]

[Merlin, how much of a jerk had his brother turned into since they stopped talking?]

Karkat, I hate speaking ill of the dead and even worse speaking ill of family but...your father was an idiot.

action

[selfhatred]

[He turned his head to look at the older Vantas, swallowing slightly. He'd never shared these things with his uncle before. What if he was only saying he was an idiot because he had better ways to "take care" of anything wrong with his nephew? Karkat wrapped his arms around himself tighter and buried his face in his arms.]

I don't want to be gay, uncle. I don't want dad to be disappointed in me more than he was.

action

[nosigntospeakof]

You can't help who you're attracted to, Karkat. And there's nothing wrong with it. Whether you're attracted to boys, girls, both or no one at all is your business.

[Sighing, Sal pulls his nephew close to his side and wraps his other arm around him in a hug.] If your father is disappointed in you for something that can't be helped that's his problem, not yours.

action

[selfhatred]

[Karkat let the older man pull him closer, curling his legs up onto the sill. It had been a while since he let himself cuddle someone like this. And his uncle wasn't reprimanding him for possibly being gay. It made his heart start up again, something he hadn't noticed happen.]

I always thought that I had to live up to him, because he was a fucking army general. I had to be a boy and do boy shit. Romcoms are for girls, only girls get cats, why do you play the violin when you should play the guitar or the drums? [he sniffed] Karkat's gay, he sings Disney songs. [a shuddering breath] I cared too much about what other people thought of me, because my dad's reputation was on the line.