NINE ♋

[selfhatred]

HEY, MAKA, DON'T YOU THINK IT'S MY TURN WITH OUR EGG?
YOU'VE BEEN HOGGING IT ALL WEEK WHEN WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RAISING THIS LITTLE SHIT TOGETHER.
WHAT PART OF PARTNER PROJECT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

Comments

[givesyouaboner]

Are you playing house with an egg?
What are you, five.

[selfhatred]

WHAT ARE YOU, AN ASSHOLE?
WE WERE GIVEN AN ASSIGNMENT TO RAISE A FUCKING DRAGON EGG WITH A PARTNER.
A LOT OF US WERE.

[givesyouaboner]

No, although technically I have one.
So dragons are real too.
Cool.
That sounds like a stupid assignment though.
Does it make you want to be Teen Mom?

[selfhatred]

TELL THAT TO DUMBLEDORE.
DRAGONS ARE REAL BUT THEY'RE NOT REAL DRAGON EGGS.
THESE ONES ARE GONNA BE TOYS.
AND UGH. NO, TEEN MOM IS A LOAD OF BULLSHIT.
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES? NOW THERE'S GOOD DRAMA.

[givesyouaboner]

Which one is he again?
I forgot. All of these wizard names are weird.
What's the point of raising dragon eggs if they aren't real?
Gosh, that's so lame. I can't even.
Eh, to be honest, Mob Wives is better.

[selfhatred]

THE HEADMASTER.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD START WRITING THEM DOWN.
A REAL DRAGON WOULD PROBABLY BURN THE FUCKING SCHOOL DOWN ONCE IT WAS FULL GROWN.
NOW YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME.
WHAT'S BETTER THAN SUBURBAN HOUSEWIVES PRETENDING TO BE NORMAL WHILE THEY TRY TO COVER UP A MURDER?

[givesyouaboner]

Oh.
It's not like I even go there yet, so it doesn't even matter.
Do they look like the ones in Shrek?
Or Eragon?
I remember seeing those when I was little.
Nothing is better. Except maybe the Jersey Shore.
Especially now that Snooky's knocked up and Mike is sober.

[doctorkishitani]

Are you taking turns with the egg to simulate a dragon's migratory patterns?

That's ingenious! How has the egg been reacting?

[selfhatred]

NO.
SHE JUST HASN'T FORKED IT OVER SINCE WE WERE GIVEN IT.
PROBABLY THINKS I'M GOING TO RUIN ITS FUCKING LIFE OR SOMETHING.

[doctorkishitani]

That doesn't make sense. You can't technically ruin it's life if it doesn't have one.

And on second thought, taking turns with the egg wouldn't really work to simulate migratory patterns since you're in the same
house. You'd probably want to start hiding it in different parts of the castle.

[selfhatred]

TRY TELLING THAT TO MAKA. SHE HAS THIS WEIRD IDEA IN HER HEAD THAT I'LL BE A SHITTY DAD.

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT STIMULATING ANYTHING?

[doctorkishitani]

Does she? I don't know where she would have gotten that idea. I think you're probably capable of seeing to the egg's biological needs and you haven't tried to break it open yet.

I thought you were trying to simulate migration, but I guess I was wrong. It was an interesting idea, although now that I think on it, dragons probably wouldn't migrate right after laying eggs.

[notapigeon]

I told you she doesn't trust you.

[selfhatred]

SHE'S PROBABLY MAD AT YOU AND TAKING IT OUT ON ME.

[notapigeon]

I didn't do anything.

[selfhatred]

"TALKING BEHIND HER BACK" RING A BELL?

[notapigeon]

I wasn't talking behind her back. She could see it! If I wanted to talk behind her back, I'd say something in private.

[couragecore]

What do you want it for? You didn't even want to do this project in the first place.

[selfhatred]

YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE TO SAY WHETHER I DID OR DIDN'T.

[couragecore]

Just chill out, would you? I handle myself just fine without my dad, so the egg can too.

[selfhatred]

LOOK, I THINK WE CAN AGREE THAT BOTH OUR DADS ARE/WERE SHITTY BUT THAT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
WHAT? SUDDENLY YOU HAVE MATERNAL INSTINCTS?
NOBODY CAN RAISE A KID ALONE LET ALONE A FUCKING EGG.

[couragecore]

[...........No, she doesn't even really know how mothers act. Hers was always busy with work and hasn't contacted her since she left Papa.]





I will give you my entire collection of romance novels if you don't say a single negative thing around the egg. Okay?

[ooc: Strike filtered to Karkat /o/]

[selfhatred]

...YOU READ ROMANCE NOVELS.

[couragecore]

IDIOT! Don't just put it out there like that!

I read them for comedy!

[aboutwhynot]

Given her father, I'm almost positive you will have to literally fight her for possession of the egg.