sortinghat_rp | Three Smuppets

right so.
it kinda looks like i fucked up last time i used this thing.
a lot.
alright listen up.
i was gonna do this through all kinda of filters and shit.
but then i decided im just gonna fucking lay it all out right here to everyone.
i dont fucking care who sees.
because everybody saw my massive pissy bitchstorm.
and you know what?
no i dont fucking expect this to fix a goddamn thing.
i dont even expect it to fix one thing.

anyway.

first serket.
vriska i mean.
im really sorry for what i said.
that shit was fucked up and you didnt deserve any of it.
it sounds like your mom was pretty fucking awesome.
way better than mine.
i shouldnt have ever said anything bad about her.
specially not when you were just trying to help.
which i just wanna say i appreciate the shit out of you for trying to do that.
even if i was a huge gaping asshole bigger than the goatse man himself.
anyway i just really feel like shit for doing that to you and im sorry.
you dont have to forgive me.
you dont even have to say a fucking word.
but just know im really fucking sorry.

vantas...es
and karkat.
mostly karkat.
dude im sorry for that shit.
that was so fucking out of line.
look just because you do the shit you do doesnt make you less of a man.
it doesnt mean youre gay.
i was just being a dick and im sorry.
and im really sorry about your mom.
and about everything i said about her.
im really sorry.
like i said to vriska i dont expect you to say anything.
its fine.

[Despite the fact he decided not to filter anything, the next two sentences are filtered. Because he knows if Dave saw them, he would think things he shouldn't. So this is filters to Di and Sal.]

and to the other vantases (i dont know your names).
youre better parents than i could ever fucking be.

[/end filter]

banks.
im sorry that your brother is a cripple
wait. no. fuck.
im sorry for saying hes a cripple.
i mean even though he is.
what i fucking mean is im sorry for dragging him into the shit.
that wasnt cool at all and im sorry for the shit i said about him.
i know i fucked up and i know youre pissed as fuck about it.
but im sorry.

basically im just.
sorry to everybody.
i fucked up.
end of story.
i dont expect anyone to forgive me.
i wouldnt forgive myself.
but yeah there it all is.
peace.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

~~professor vantas spotted the bandage and dragged me to the infirmary~~
its fine
good as new

ugh i want this stupid term to be over

fuck.
i bet he had a whole lot to say about that.
surprised cps isnt beating down the door right now.

im sorry.

nah i told him i fell and cut myself on my sword
he didnt buy it but i made it pretty clear that was the only story he was gonna get out of me

john knows though

i deserved it

let me just stop you right there and say

shut

the

fuck

up.

because you didnt fucking deserve it and if I hear you say that one more fucking time, I'm going to call CPS on my goddamn self! Jesus Christ. Who the fuck deserves to have their fucking dad do that, Dave? Not you. Not anybody. You didn't fucking deserve it, so stop.

[Oops, yeah. He got so caught up in that, that he started writing with proper grammar.]

okay maybe not so much getting my arm fileted but i needed to be taken down a peg
getting hurt was accidental

it

was

an

accident

but i was totally fucking out of line
i picked the worst possible time to try to air my dirty laundry

... whatever
can we just not talk about this?
can we just move on and pretend it never fucking happened.
can you stop blaming yourself for shit that isnt for fault?

if all this happened then life would be fucking perfect.

i
sure
whatever

you and dirk get my letters?

yep.

hows your egg?

your reptilian grandson
sean pimpdaddy connery robinson-strider
is doing fine
i think
i dont know its an egg

first.
that name is badass.
second congratulations on your marriage.
i didnt know that was a thing.
why wasnt i invited?
i thought you were into john?
did he cheat on you.
shit i need to get on top of these soaps.

you got it some shades right?

nah we didnt get married
just shoved together for this stupid project
but were staying together for the sake of the egg
you know how that go

oh wait

of course i got him some shades you think im an abusive parent or sth
what kind of strider would i be if i didnt give him shades

[Yeah, so... in response to that, one of the smuppets he left at school is just going to be sneaking up on him soon and humping his leg.]

i was just checking dave jeez.
defensive much?
when do i get a family pic.
its gotta be really fucking cheesy or you didnt do it right.

well be sure to put on our christmas jumpers and everythi

[SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH]

problem?

not anymore

[smuppet goes into the trunk and something heavy goes on top of the trunk.]

[Later, perhaps, he will sneak it into Vantas' trunk.]

Three Smuppets

filtered; strike legible

filtered- totally reading your strike

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