Forwarddated to Saturday night

[bev_rage]

i'm duying dying
im gonna die here on a footun
rip roxy lalonde she died on a gutun footun futon covrd in snacks n blood
oops should i put a tmi warning?
tmi im bleeding erywhre n it sux send help

ps im not rly dying, just bleeding frm my girly biys bits
pps smene tell dirk i'm not rly dying pls

Comments

[bev_rage]

I don't need someone to take care of me, it's just really helpful since my insides are eating themselves.

[Oh no, broody!Dirk will not do. Time to shove a smuppet in his face!]

I'll be fine in a few days, 'kay?

[givesyouaboner]

<sub>[That imagery makes his stomach churn again. It only sounds horribly painful.

However, it's impossible to remain unsmiling when she does that. Gosh, he just really loves smuppets. Maybe one day he can make his own.]</sub>

Promise?

[bev_rage]

[Puppet nose nudging his cheek.]

Promise.

[givesyouaboner]

Okay.

_{[Suddenly he needs Cal. brb a sec, he's got to retrieve 'em from the bedroom.]}

Do you want me to get you pizza or something?

[bev_rage]

Pizza sounds so good right now. [What's junk food burn out from a week of cold pizza?] And your uncle says there's money in the blender for you to go get me tampons and pads.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[He has no problem getting her a leftover slice. There's like, a ton left anyway, which is why he just brings a box over.]}

What.




He didn't say it to me so that's not a thing.

[bev_rage]

[She takes it and is already tearing into a cold slice of meat lovers'.]

We're gonna run out of towels before they get back.

[givesyouaboner]

They're supposed to come back tomorrow, aren't they? There's extra sheets.

[bev_rage]

Gross.

[givesyouaboner]

Not really. Laundry isn't our job so not our problem.

_{[Okay, it's really gross. He just doesn't want to do it.]}

[bev_rage]

It'd be less gross if you just got me the stuff.

[givesyouaboner]

I'm only helping you in manners that don't require me to leave the flat.

[bev_rage]

Diiiiiiiiiiiiirk. You're supposed to be my best friiiiiiend.

[givesyouaboner]

Best friend, not dad. That's not part of my job description.

[bev_rage]

Best friends buy their best friends with girl parts tampons.

[givesyouaboner]

I don't want to.

[bev_rage]

Please?

[givesyouaboner]

Make Uncle Dirk do it. He should've thought of the consequences of leaving us unsupervised.

[bev_rage]

He can't do it from Hogwarts, Dirk. If I shove a towel into my skirt and go with you will you do it?

[givesyouaboner]

Pretty sure he went to get his bromo on with Dave. If you do that what's the point in me going at all?

[bev_rage]

Because I'll get lost! I don't know where the fuck I'm going around here.

[givesyouaboner]

Well, let me tell you, it isn't like Kensington out there. Trying to go to the store would be like asking to be grabbed up in a 'napper van and forced into internet super stardom. The fact that anyone expects me to go anywhere at all is astounding.

[bev_rage]

Don't be a dick, Dirk.

[givesyouaboner]

_{[There's probably a convenience store across the street, but he hardly leaves the flat ever.]}

I'm not.