1st Cup of Coffee

[thisperfectsaucer]

[Van hasn't been using his journal all summer; he's been busy with the shop and keeping the Jaegers in line. Apparently he hasn't been doing as well as he'd hoped, because there's Maxim, half-naked in a journal entry even the little firsties can see. Good thing the Von Mekkhans are masters of PR.]

I would like to publically apolo

[INK SPLOTCH]

I'm sorry that Maxim Jaeger is a ter

[I N K S P L O T C H 

Okay

This isn't working

Maybe face-palming into the void will restore the karmic balance]

Comments

[moveslikejaeger]

[See these, Vanamonde?]

[These are his silky red panties and the tops of his red stockings]

[You brought this upon yourself]

[thisperfectsaucer]

[PICKS UP HIS INKWELL

DUMPS THE WHOLE THING OVER THE JOURNAL PAGE

SUCCESS]

[moveslikejaeger]

[LAUGHING]

[So worth it]

[So worth every second of it]

[thisperfectsaucer]

[NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo............]

[moveslikejaeger]

[YOU LOVE HIM. YOU KNOW YOU DO.]

[YOU CANNOT SAY NO TO THIS FACE]

[Look at him, he's just so sweet and innocent]

[How could you possibly say no to that face?]

[thisperfectsaucer]

[He does love you

But he still thinks you're a terrible person

And he's said no to your face a whole bunch of times, remember? It's not that hard.]

[moveslikejaeger]

[Here, have a smooch for your troubles]

[He's too lazy to go give you one in person]

[Like he ever listens when Van says no.]

[Haha, that's funny. You're funny.]

[Call him sometime, okay?]

[thisperfectsaucer]

[n o

he will not call you maybe

AND MY GOD IT'S TWO BLOCKS if you want a smooch you can bloody well come get one

lazy ass]

[moveslikejaeger]

[Y e s , he will call him definitely.]

[Noooooo, that would mean he has to put pants on! he doesn't wanna put pants on! he's quite happy in his underwear!]

[thisperfectsaucer]

[So help him if magic outside of school weren't forbidden

He would use a permanent sticking charm on your pants to keep them on you

Swear on Merlin's beard]

[moveslikejaeger]

[But then how would he go to the bathroom?]

[Or, you know. Jerk off]

[thisperfectsaucer]

[... oh, good point.

Hm.

He'll figure something out, give him time.]

[moveslikejaeger]

[You could just accept him for the pantsless boy that he is]

[thisperfectsaucer]

[No. He is a Hufflepuff. He will work at this and work at this until he gets the results he wants, and you will not sway him.

Now put on some pants and come down the coffee shop, god. He saved you one of those pastries you like.]

[moveslikejaeger]

[...Curse you, Vanamonde Heliotrope Von Mekkhan! Pastries are his one weakness!]

[Pants are acquired and he makes his way to the coffee shop, only to pout at Van for spoiling his fun in the best way possible]

Schmotty pents.

AND ACTION FROM THIS POINT ON.....

[thisperfectsaucer]

Oh, you shush. Here.

[He hands over the pastry.]

I have to hand it to you. Losing house points for Gryffindor in the middle of summer vacation is truly a feat.

[moveslikejaeger]

Hy got it beck. [he shrugs, plopping down into the booth next to Van, stuffing as much pastry in his mouth as he can. he chews and swallows before speaking though, he's not Oggie, he does have SOME table manners] Looked like de professors vos gonna haff a fight 'bout it too. Ve prolly gon' schtatt fife points ahead eef it's op to de vun.

[thisperfectsaucer]

I don't know why he's so set on rewarding you for being inappropriate. I don't think it's you so much as he wants to annoy Professor Peixes.

[Not that your frilly knickers aren't worth five points to Gryffindor, especially since they were house colors, but still.]

[moveslikejaeger]

Ho, dot's exectly vhy he's doink it! [snicker, shrugging one shoulder carelessly] But ten points iz ten points. Hy tek it.

Chust like Hy tek dis pastry hyu zo t'oughtfully saffed fur me. [He smiles, waggling the pastry at Van before holding it up to his mouth, shoving his tongue into the center. Mmmm, cherry filling]

[quasistellar]

[Just this look. And a nod.]

[thisperfectsaucer]

[Yeah. This is all sorts of butts, Professor.

ALL SORTS.]

voice post

[gloriousandfree]

...You all don't know how to think outside the box do you?

.........voice post

[thisperfectsaucer]

I admit it hadn't occurred to me. I was a little distracted.

Ohh, voice post!

[moveslikejaeger]

[that is accompanied by profuse amounts of sniggering] Vaaaaaaaat? Only a leedle?

NO GET OUT

[thisperfectsaucer]

Despite what you think, you are not the most handsome thing on two legs.

NOPE NEVER

[moveslikejaeger]

Vell, hyu know vat dey say. Alvays zumvun bedder, yah? Zo Hy chust haff to be de most hendzum ting on tvo legs dot's closest to hyu!

[gloriousandfree]

Perhaps you should keep your silliness on your own journal.

[MADDIE APPROVES NOT OF YOUR ANTICS]

[moveslikejaeger]

Or mebbe hyu should lighten op! Hy iz chust havink fun~ Iz not hurtink enybody at all.

[gloriousandfree]

I weep for our year.

[moveslikejaeger]

Und Hy veep fur hyu.

voice post

[gloriousandfree]

At least it isn't my house you two are working on losing points from.

voice post

[thisperfectsaucer]

I don't believe I've done anything to lose Hufflepuff points. I'm trying to get him to stop.

voice

[gloriousandfree]

I wish you the best of luck, based on your current track record. [Nope that's not a hint of laughter in her voice]

voice

[thisperfectsaucer]

[It's okay, he knows it's a difficult job. But someone's got to do it, and his family's taken it upon themselves to for generations, so.]

I do wish out of school magic weren't forbidden, or I could fix this easily.

Perhaps I can just hide his journal.

voice

[gloriousandfree]

Oh but then he might steal yours and then where would you be. Really he should be getting points taken away. Everyone can see that.

voice

[thisperfectsaucer]

I believe Professor Peixes is trying and not making much headway. It's difficult to punish him by traditional means; he simply forgets detentions and I don't think he particularly cares about the House Cup, either.

[AAAAAAAH LIGHTBULB]

I know. I'll steal and hide all of his lingerie. He can't parade around in it if he can't find it.

voice

[gloriousandfree]

...W-What?

[mo_cara]

:o)

[thisperfectsaucer]

[w a t

Gamzee no what is that face

no]

[mo_cara]

[A more elaborate clown face (with sharp teeth for some reason) will be doodled in, in some kind of black, thick paint, since the ink's not working. It may possibly be done in Gamzee's own face paint.]

voice;

[bev_rage]

Does he do that a lot? Like around school an' shit?

voice;

[thisperfectsaucer]

Sometimes.

And if it gets out of hand you can be sure I'll be doing something about it, provided he isn't spending his every free moment in detention.

Are you going to be new this year? I don't believe I've seen you around.

[And with how he's got his nose in almost everyone's business, that's pretty rare.]

voice;

[allisnotlost]

If that next word was goin' to be terrible, I automatically agree with whatewer you're sayin'.