TWELVE ♋

[selfhatred]

[filtered from Equius]

IF ZAHHAK ASKS IF YOU'VE SEEN ME, YOU HAVEN'T.
SERIOUSLY, MY LIFE IS ON THE LINE HERE.
I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE TOLD HIM TO READ 50 SHADES OF GRAY.
AND THEN LENT HIM MY COPY.
WITHOUT TELLING HIM THE REAL PREMISE.
BUT SERIOUSLY.
YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.

Comments

[clockspinner]

well damn ive always wanted to mack on a possessed whoopi goldberg
did you know theres a ghost musical
have you ever just had the spontaneously bad idea to blow the ghosts minds with muggle culture
cause i have
all the time

[selfhatred]

AND HERE I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D GET THE REFERENCE.
I'M SURE THEY'D PROBABLY START COMPLAINING THAT IT'S INACCURATE.
KIND OF LIKE SOCIAL JUSTICE BLOGGERS OR SOMETHING.
ONLY WORSE.
THEY'RE ACTUALLY THERE IN PERSON TALKING YOUR EAR OFF.

[clockspinner]

wow im not sure which is more wounded my pride or how shit you think my taste in movies is
of course ive seen ghost
idk of all the supernatural movies out there i think that ones the truest to what i understand happens with actual ghosts

probably not worth the buttache tho

[selfhatred]

AND YOU'RE AWARE THAT IT'S A SUPERNATURAL ROMANCE?
I'M IMPRESSED, STRIDER.
I'M NOT OVERLY FOND OF GHOSTS, BUT IT'S ON THE BETTER LEVEL THAN GHOST BUSTERS.
JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY HEAR ABOUT THAT ONE.
THEY'RE BOUND TO SHIT GHOST BRICKS.

nope filtered

[clockspinner]

dont even with the busters of ghosts man
dont
even
go
there
ive sat through that movie about ten thousand times over the past four years
and fuck me with a rusty spoon before that id seen it once but it wasnt a big deal
bro has a weird boner for bill murray idgi
then i meet john and he creams his panties over it every single time jfc

moral of the story
fuck ghostbusters

filtered

[selfhatred]

JOHN CREAMS HIS PANTIES OVER EVERY SHITTY MOVIE HE LIKES THOUGH.
I DON'T SEE WHAT WOULD CHANGE BETWEEN GHOSTBUSTERS AND CON AIR.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WATCH IT EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU PLAY SLEEPOVER.
SEE, THERE'S THIS WORD CALLED NO.
IT'S EASY TO SAY.
NO.
THERE.
NOW YOU SAY IT.

filtered

[clockspinner]

no
fuck you
youre just as vulnerable to the harleybert puppydog eyes as i am you asshole dont even play
i have seen it in action myself
i have witnessed nirvana and it is in big teary blue and/or green eyes
and silly teeth gnawing at their lower lip
as their fucking chin quivers and augh
just
ugh

filtered

[selfhatred]

I AM N--
I GAVE UP--

[both those and a whole bunch of other sentences are messily crossed out to the point where you can't read them]

IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY'VE GOT YOU WRAPPED AROUND THEIR CONJOINED FINGER, STRIDER.
BESIDES, THE HARLEYBERTS HAVE NO EFFECT ON ME.
I'M IMMUNE TO PUPPY EYES.
ONCE YOU'VE LIVED WITH NEPETA FOR A FEW YEARS, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND.

filtered

[clockspinner]

[Shoosh Karkat platonic puppy eyes are still a thing.]

uh huh
in case you couldnt tell
eye contact is not really a strider thing
i am not wrapped around their conjoined finger i just


fuck it
nevermind
fuck you
i hope zahhak finds you

filtered

[selfhatred]

[Ugh. Damnit. He's probably going to regret this.]

STRIDER, GET THE FUCK BACK HERE.
WE'RE TALKING THIS OUT.

filtered

[clockspinner]

no fuck you
theres nothing to talk about
im reading fifty shades of getting the fuck out of here

filtered

[selfhatred]

I'M EXTENDING A FUCKING OLIVE BRANCH, STRIDER.
WOULD IT KILL YOU TO JUST SWALLOW YOUR GODDAMN PRIDE AND TALK ABOUT SHIT FOR A CHANGE?

filtered

[clockspinner]

no
im shooting your dove out of the air
i dont need relationship advice
jade and i are happy as fucking clams
which are apparently very content with their lives

filtered

[selfhatred]

THIS ISN'T ABOUT HARLEY OR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE.
YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR CHEST THAT YOU NEED TO LET GO OF.
SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT I WANT TO HELP YOU.

filtered

[clockspinner]

the only thing on my chest are my sweetass perky little nipples
and chest hair
which is something you probably dont have yet

filtered

[selfhatred]

NIPPLES ARE ONLY PERKY WHEN IT'S COLD, ASSHOLE.
AND FUCK YOU, YOU JUST WISH YOU HAD MY BOYISH GOOD LOOKS.

filtered

[clockspinner]

im always cold
my genes expect texas and get antarctica instead
and my mammaries are always perky
perpetually perky petit pips

you wish you were the specimen of manliness that i am

filtered

[selfhatred]

ONLY GIRLS HAVE MAMMARY GLANDS, STRIDER.
OR DID YOU FAIL BIOLOGY?

NOPE. WHY WOULD I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A BLOND, RETARDED BULGE SUCKER WHO WEARS SUNGLASSES INDOORS BECAUSE HE THINKS IT LOOKS COOL?

filtered

[clockspinner]

wow could you be more wrong
i dont think so
the only thing different from girls and guys is that girls have big ol sacks of fat on their chests
men can lactate too if they get hold of the right hormones

...aite im done
fuck off vantas

filtered

[selfhatred]

YEAH, HORMONES. THERE'S ONLY CERTAIN CASES WHERE THEY LACTATE ON THEIR OWN AND IT'S USUALLY WHEN THEY'RE STARVING.

...JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
YOU'RE TESTIER THAN A FUCKING GIRL.

[clockspinner]

[NOPE. DONE.]

[selfhatred]

[WELL HE'S NOT.

And he's coming to find you, damnit, Dave.]

action

[clockspinner]

[He's up in their room rearranging his dead things so that they're all staring in Karkat's direction.

And wishing he could have brought Bessie the cow fetus.]

[selfhatred]

[Bilious Slick is just staring back at the dead things from the bedside table a few beds over, blinking slowly in a froggy way before the door to the fourth year dorm opens with a slight bang.]

Strider, we need to talk.

[clockspinner]

[Dave does not even turn to look at Karkat.]

Nope.