(no subject)

[clockspinner]

what i did over my summer vacation
by dave strider



pictured here is the sweetass party that i threw while the professors were all away
of course bro wasnt mad i can get away with murder
besides no one died or ended up bleeding that badly




guess where bro took me as a reward
thats right suckers i got to go to knockturn alley
and not only that but



i got this cool thing
its a beaver fetus
its super tiny look at it isnt it adorable oh my god
from the moment i saw it i knew it was mine
and only five sickles too

i did other shit too but
i wanted to show off my beaver fetus

Comments

[clockspinner]

[Dave hesitates before replying. It aches to see people referring to Bro as Dave's brother, although he supposes continuing to call him Bro does nothing to dispel the illusion.]

yeah
and hes a pretty sweet dad too

[cough cough switching topics]

you ever been to knockturn alley before?

[arrogantalloy]

[Tony raises his eyes at the words, and decides that if he wants to change subjects, then Tony can go with that. He's not exactly aching to keep hearing about all this warm family feelings.]

Yeah, because I'm so straight laced and clean that I'd never go to a place like that.

It has a few interesting things, but it's not really what I'd call thrilling.

[clockspinner]

id never been before
its not about being straight laced and clean or else wed practically live there
usually unless were shopping for school we keep it on the muggle side
it was a reward for not killing anyone at the party
and i got a beaver fetus

[arrogantalloy]

Me, I'd have just asked for like strawberries or something.

But hey, looks like you had fun and found yourself a nifty little carnival sideshow prize. So everything's coming up Dave.

[clockspinner]

strawberries
really
from knockturn alley
you can get fucking strawberries at tesco
is there such a thing as magical strawberries

[arrogantalloy]

Who cares where you get them from.

If Jarvis gave me a pickled baboon for every time I've had a party where no one's even broken a glass let alone kept it free from death. I'd have to buy a storage facility for them.

So really, I'd just have strawberries.

[givesyouaboner]

Wow, Dave, it looks like you had a good summer.

[fuckmackandme]

oh hey, you brought that shitty camera out.

[skullsandstuff]

OH MY GOD

When you say tiny, how tiny to you mean? I want to see it!

Also if it was that cheap, then either it's harmless or cursed with something really, really bad. It's probably harmless but I thought I should mention, in case you don't get a lot of stuff down that way...

They probably brought Dirk and Roxy harmless things from Knockturn Alley too

[clockspinner]

course i did
and you know what made it even better
the fact that i had the raddest little bro and sis around as deputies

hows school going

[clockspinner]

wow john
rude

[fuckmackandme]

oops.
sorry.
i meant that IRONIC camera.

[clockspinner]

the fetus is about 2 and a half inches long
sth like that
smallest thing in my collection so far
id be happy to introduce you to midget

yeah i think its clean
considering bro ran all sorts of spells on it before hed even let me touch it
either that or its so horrible even bro couldnt catch it in which case holy shit im fucked

[clockspinner]

y u gotta be this way bro
y u gotta hurt me like this

Dirk would bring whatever with him to school too

[givesyouaboner]

Really
I'm glad to hear that, too. It definitely made my summer better too.

_{[HE'S TRYING SO HARD TO BE COOL and not give into his internal squealing.]}

It's okay.
So far I like most of my classes. What about yours?

[clockspinner]

yeah well see
i guess im just delinquently retarded or sth
because brod never left me in charge like that before
maybe because he was usually always around the flat idk

[fuckmackandme]

because you're cold and shamed, lying naked on the floor.

[clockspinner]

im wide awake and i can see the perfect sky is
fuck you john egbert youre a butt

[fuckmackandme]

takes one to know one.
seriously though, you haven't brought the camera out in a while.
i was starting to think you'd given up.

good boy

[clockspinner]

damn straight

eh you know
potions is about ten pounds of fuck no in a five pound bag
defense is fun tho
how about you
name and shame bro

[clockspinner]

give up on one of my favorite hobbies
never
i just cant really at school
cause id have to ask rhydderch or mercer for the stuff to develop them

[givesyouaboner]

_{[There's some scribbles before he actually starts writing. There's obvious hesitation, stemming from Dirk not knowing how to word it.]}

Potions would be interesting if the teacher was different. He kind of creeps me out.
There's another I don't like, but the others are more or less interesting. I think out of the rest, it would be DaDa and transfiguration that I like best.
History of Magic is really interesting too, but we're still covering things I already read.

[skullsandstuff]

Aww, so tiny! Eee, you named it too. I'm looking forward to meeting Midget. You've got a collection of this stuff?

It's probably fine if somebody checked it out. You're so lucky! Dad wouldn't let me touch anything in there at all, let alone get something.

[clockspinner]

yes this exactly
rhydderch is a bag of cats that have been injected with methamphetamines
lessee you have to take potions transfig charms history astronomy and herbology
oh and flying
shit i totally spaced i was supposed to take you flying over the summer
its hard to find a place to fly in london
my bad
hows that class going anyway

[clockspinner]

i do indeed
some of the stuff are things ive preserved myself
but when i can get hold of bros credit card i sometimes order cool shit off the internet
like holy moses the biggest thing in my collection
cow fetus
yep
her name is bessie