(no subject)

[clockspinner]

what i did over my summer vacation
by dave strider



pictured here is the sweetass party that i threw while the professors were all away
of course bro wasnt mad i can get away with murder
besides no one died or ended up bleeding that badly




guess where bro took me as a reward
thats right suckers i got to go to knockturn alley
and not only that but



i got this cool thing
its a beaver fetus
its super tiny look at it isnt it adorable oh my god
from the moment i saw it i knew it was mine
and only five sickles too

i did other shit too but
i wanted to show off my beaver fetus

Comments

[arrogantalloy]

Why a beaver fetus? Like all the things you could have gotten. And you come out with that.

[clockspinner]

i have a collection
besides it was the first thing that i saw that was probably not cursed to kill me
well know whether thats true or not in the next few weeks
keep your fingers crossed that i dont suffer death by beaver

on second thought maybe itll bring me good luck in the beaver department

[arrogantalloy]

You're really going to hope for luck in the beaver department after hoping you don't suffer death by beaver.

I can't help but think you're sending a mixed signal here.

[cantfightthisfire]

[Okay. So for once she's kind of gonna just cut the bitchitude because she's curious about Knockturn Alley. She's never been there.

Also she'd never admit it but the beaver is kinda badass.]

What kinda fucked up shit did Knockturn Alley have?

[clockspinner]

oh man
all kinds of shit
there were shrunken heads and freaky jewelry
and i swear there was a fucking mirror that told me i had a nice ass

[cantfightthisfire]

Man that sounds so much better than Diagon Alley. Why don't they ever send us there for school shit?

But I kinda have to call bullshit on the mirror.

Or maybe not, I mean it is dark magic after all, and that's the blackest kind of lie.

[mo_cara]

ThAt'S a PrEtTy ShIt MiRrOr, ThEn.
AlL mOtHeRfUcKiN bLiNd.

[cantstarvethisfire]

Congratulations on your baby? You can get better stuff there that's a bit more useful.

[clockspinner]

thank you
i am the proudest beaver fetus parent
his name is midget
i think its a he
idk how to sex beavers

i know but
bro was real paranoid about me picking something out

[cantstarvethisfire]

That's a fairly girly name for a male beaver.

There's no point in taking you if you can't get something useful.

[givesyouaboner]

Wow, Dave, it looks like you had a good summer.

They probably brought Dirk and Roxy harmless things from Knockturn Alley too

[clockspinner]

course i did
and you know what made it even better
the fact that i had the raddest little bro and sis around as deputies

hows school going

Dirk would bring whatever with him to school too

[givesyouaboner]

Really
I'm glad to hear that, too. It definitely made my summer better too.

_{[HE'S TRYING SO HARD TO BE COOL and not give into his internal squealing.]}

It's okay.
So far I like most of my classes. What about yours?

[fuckmackandme]

oh hey, you brought that shitty camera out.

[clockspinner]

wow john
rude

[skullsandstuff]

OH MY GOD

When you say tiny, how tiny to you mean? I want to see it!

Also if it was that cheap, then either it's harmless or cursed with something really, really bad. It's probably harmless but I thought I should mention, in case you don't get a lot of stuff down that way...

[clockspinner]

the fetus is about 2 and a half inches long
sth like that
smallest thing in my collection so far
id be happy to introduce you to midget

yeah i think its clean
considering bro ran all sorts of spells on it before hed even let me touch it
either that or its so horrible even bro couldnt catch it in which case holy shit im fucked

[seeringlight]

What a rather quaint use of word choice over your new addition

[Oh yeah. Totally making fun of you for using the word adorable and acting like a little girl given a kitten or something.]

If I knew that the way to your girlish heart was through the gifting of dead things oddly preserved in jars, I would have done it ages ago.

[clockspinner]

[Don't hate on the beaver fetus, Rose.]

rose youve known me for four years
how did you not know that the way to my heart is through dead things in jars
now you know what to get me for my birthday

[thesmallesttrickster]

That is...interesting...

[clockspinner]

sure is
you wanna see

[luxextenebris]

Why would you even choose a beaver fetus? Didn't they have more interesting stuff there?

[clockspinner]

why not a beaver fetus
i mean yeah they had other stuff
but midget goes well with my collection

[dormitus]

:o
what is its name
maybe we can make a special label for its jar

[clockspinner]

her name is midget
im assuming its a girl it might be too undeveloped to have a gender yet
shes already got a label but if you wanna blingee that shit up im down with that