[Teacher Filter]

[wwistful]

I understand that it might be a little difficult to handle given that it's only the first week back, but I can't be the only one appalled by the behaviour of the students, can I?

Honestly. It's gotten to the point where detention has become a joke and removing points is a formality. I actually have no idea how I'm meant to deal with the amount of misbehaviour going on when they won't listen to a word I say! A student went so far as to

[Actually. He doesn't really want to announce that.]

It's a little difficult to comprehend. Is there any advice anybody can give me, because I am at a loss here. I think perhaps it's time for a discussion amongst ourselves before things get even more out of hand.


We're much stronger as team than we are individually, in any case.

Comments

[wwistful]

You're not going to do anything, Dirk.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm sorry, I can't hear you through the sound me of rummaging around for my katana.

And will you quit saying my name so much

it just makes me w

[Voice>Text]

[wwistful]

DIRK STRIDER. SIT THE BLOODY HELL DOWN AND STOP BEIN' A PRICK.

Thank you.

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Well that was enough to kind of startle him out of looking for his katana. It also made him knock his inkwell over again, only this time it landed on the floor. Now he's completely out of black ink.

So he's going to just quietly borrow Dave's via an accio charm which he actually got right this time.]

Oh my god I'm sitting, okay, daddy?

And how the heaven am I being a- you know the thing I can't say. Ugh.

Could you just undo this spell, this is ridiculous as farts.

[wwistful]

I told you not to kick up a fuss and I told you it's been taken care of.

So just stop.


And no, it stays until you stop swearing.

[plushaeusrumpified]

How's it been taken care of? Did his manhood get cut off and fed to a shark?

[He kind of. doesn't realize Murdoc's animagus form is a shark. Oops.]

Because if not, I'm not resting until that's what happens.


What if I charmed you into not being such an insufferable donkey hole?

[wwistful]

I wouldn't wish that on a shark.

I left it in Dumbledore's hands. I couldn't get through to him.

The issue that is

not his

yes.

There isn't a spell for that.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh my god hold on.

Let's just take this moment. This glorious moment. To appreciate how you just caught the little innuendo thing you just did there.

I'm proud of you.









Ok now it's time to get back on subject.
How do you know Dumbledore's gonna handle it flipping better than me?

And I'm sure I can find one.

[wwistful]

Ha. Ha.

He's the Headmaster, you're a language teacher who needs to be filtered. It's his responsibility to take care of the problem, not yours.


Go ahead, make my day.

[plushaeusrumpified]

It's my responsibility to take care you my

friends.


Yeah, maybe I will. BRB, going to the library and looking for some spells to try.

[wwistful]

Your friend is taken care of.

Don't waste your time.

[AKA: Pay attention to me]

[plushaeusrumpified]

I

fine.


Whatever.

I won't do anything for now. Whatever. But that doesn't mean this is over. You only win temporarily, because I'm seriously tired of arguing with you. He'll get what's coming to him.




So about this other poo what are your thoughts? How're we gonna make these kids listen? Because it's bananas.

[wwistful]

That was far easier than I expected.

I have no idea. A battle royale in the courtyard? Public humiliation at feasts?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Maybe because I decided it's easier to just not argue and plot my clever schemes of revenge. Or maybe it's because like you, I just wanna get back to a nice, calm discussion. I'm brewing up a pot of tea as we speak to get down and dirty with this calm discussion.

Public humiliation?

He'd get off on it.

I like the sound of battle royale though.

[wwistful]

Funny, I didn't think you drank tea. Also it's pretty damn useless if you're the only one drinking it.

I wasn't referring specifically to him, to be honest. Though you have a point.
It's tempting, but I doubt it would go over well with the parents.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Sarcasm Are you saying you wanna come over for tea?

Oh, you're right. I guess I'm stuck on him or whatever. Yeah. They'd probably hate it. But really what do they expect us to do when nobody listens?

[wwistful]

I'd hate to encroach upon your calming time.

What a terrible thought to plague your mind. Mmmh, I suppose that rules out weekly sacrifices too.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Oh cut the bullbaloney, do you want tea or not?

If we did that, it would be up to you to sacrifice your kid first to set a good example. Could you handle that?

[wwistful]

I don't drink tea.

Eridan is a good boy, that would set a horrible example.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I don't either. Coffee?

Well geez being a teacher is just plum complicated ain't it? So many things to factor in. What a headache.

Maybe we should do something really mean like take away their pets or something.

[wwistful]

Alright, where are you?

If we took their pets we'd have to take care of them. I don't fancy feeding fifty furballs.

[plushaeusrumpified]

My office.

[Shit. Shit shit shit he's. Coming here. Okay. He'll just have to. Clean or something??

NO. No. No that would be stupid. He'll just casually. Keep the place exactly how it is. And hurry and make coffee for real.]

True. What if we locked them in an abandoned dungeon individually for however long it takes for them to be begged to get let out?

[wwistful]

I'll answer that in person.

[Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He's going to his office? He'll just have to. Neaten up or something?

NO. He's going to look casual in his everyday pants and boots and a lose black shirt.

He strolls down the halls, his heart thumping against his chest in time with the rapid little knock against Dirk's office door.

Casual. Casuaaaal.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[The waiting is probably the worst part. He's too damn nervous. He hates himself for it. It's exactly what he felt so horrible about the last time they parted, because he allowed himself to feel so dumb. Ugh, why had he pushed the tea/coffee thing? It was stupid of him.

He's being stupid. So stupid. Just. stop.

Seriously. Just. Pretend it's like when they first met. That's all. Pretend there aren't confused as fuck feelings. Just. Fucking stop with the stupid shit and act normal, okay? Just do it. Just be normal.

The mental pep talk is enough to make him feel better and when he finally hears the knock on the door, he at least isn't panicking. He isn't sure how to go about answering it though. In person? Then they'd be close- they have to be close if they're having coffee together, but.

Opening it with magic might look flippant, like he doesn't care.

Does he care whether Murdoc thinks he doesn't care?

Oh jesus christ he's overthinking it hardcore and then he just goes back to feeling dumb. But he draws in a deep breath and pushes that firmly out of the way. Because shut up with the teenage girl feelings, for christ's sake.

He points his wand at the door, finally, and it opens.]

... C'mon in, sit anywhere, I don't care.

[Too flippant??]

[wwistful]

[He's expecting Bro to answer the door himself when he knocks, so the door flies open to reveal a very awkwardly posed Murdoc looking like he doesn't know where to be right now.

He steps into the room, half smiling at Dirk as he does. Suddenly he feels like maybe he shouldn't be here. Dirk seems so flippant? As if he doesn't really care whether Murdoc is here or not. They had a perfectly nice conversation over the journals, why couldn't he leave it at that?

Ever since that kiss he's been worried he's said or done something wrong. He'd never really felt attracted to Dirk. He'd always BEEN attractive but the idea of him being his to have and hold never really occurred to him.

Now that the idea had occurred to him. He couldn't really unsee it. The way Dirk went out of his way to find out about the incident, his reaction, the way his stupid little comments were starting to make him smile and chuckle like an idiot schoolgirl. It was painful. And strange.

He steps into the room, glancing about curiously before feeling awkward and crossing over to take a seat.]

Lockin' them in a dungeon isn't a bad idea. [He speaks up out of nowhere. No hello, no greeting at all. He said it in person, just like he said he would.]