11 Smuppets; Text

[plushaeusrumpified]

Leave me here to die

33 sucks.

Out of all of the numbers out there, it's probably the worst number by far. I mean, what's even the point of it? 32 is better. 31 is better. 33 is absolutely pointless in its existence. And it's an odd number. Odd. Odd numbers suck, but 33 is the suckiest odd number out of all of them.

There's nothing even ironic about it. I can find irony in every other number. But not this one. It's like anti-irony in its most natural form.

We're wizards, we should be able to magically take this number out of existence.

Someone invent a spell for that.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

Seriously have you seen my face? How can anyone with a face like mine be insecure with their looks? It just ain't possible.

[itsintheblood]

You're fairly attractive looking. Not my type, but not bad.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Excuse me? How am I not your type?

[itsintheblood]

You don't scream overly rich social justice do-gooder.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Wow, that's a really shitty kind of type. Who even admits to having a type like that, anyway? No one in their right mind admits to being a gold digger.

But for your information, I am rich.

[itsintheblood]

I like men who think they're doing the world a favor, and most just so happen to have the money for their plans. I make enough money on my own to not need theirs.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I am doing the world a favor. You should see my website. Millions of people love it. Do you have any idea how bad off people would be without it?

[itsintheblood]

You have a website?

[plushaeusrumpified]

You sound surprised. Is it honestly surprising that a man like myself would have a website? But yes, I do. It's the best website on the internet and it's made me richer than god.

[itsintheblood]

Most wizards don't bother with the muggle world when they embrace what they really are.

What is the best website in the world then?

[plushaeusrumpified]

Yeah well I'm not most wizards, am I? I prefer a healthy dose of both worlds.

plushrumps.com

[itsintheblood]

I'd ask more questions about your site, but I think I'll wait and find out next time I'm home.