11 Smuppets; Text

[plushaeusrumpified]

Leave me here to die

33 sucks.

Out of all of the numbers out there, it's probably the worst number by far. I mean, what's even the point of it? 32 is better. 31 is better. 33 is absolutely pointless in its existence. And it's an odd number. Odd. Odd numbers suck, but 33 is the suckiest odd number out of all of them.

There's nothing even ironic about it. I can find irony in every other number. But not this one. It's like anti-irony in its most natural form.

We're wizards, we should be able to magically take this number out of existence.

Someone invent a spell for that.

Comments

[plushaeusrumpified]

Someone, and I'm not naming any names, is putting the ass in assumption.

[xanthous]

So it's not that you're getting older, you just irrationally hate the number 33?

[plushaeusrumpified]

I'm not getting older, and my hatred is not irrational. My hatred has plenty of rationality. Like how unironic it is. That alone is grounds for immediate and utter loathing.

[xanthous]

How can numbers be ironic to begin with?

You sound like a man on the verge of a midlife crisis, even if 33 isn't that old.

[plushaeusrumpified]

That is the question of a man who wouldn't know irony if it slapped him in the balls.


I take it you'd know what that feels like, then, old man?

[xanthous]

Or of a man who uses dictionary definitions.

I'm 33 as well.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Well stop that, because the dictionary doesn't know jack shit about irony.



I'm not having a midlife crisis. I just wanted to write about my hatred for this number. What do I have to have ulterior motives? Stop questioning me. Should I question you about your lack of flying skills?

[xanthous]

So you're smarter then dictionaries?

Right. Most people just have a reason for their hatred.

You can do that, but it's not going to change my job.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I told you, I do have a reason for it. You're just choosing not to believe me when I say I do.

I bet if I decided to take up the position again, I'd get it over you based on pure talent.

[xanthous]

Your reason is the fact that the number 33 lacks "irony", and I'm pretty sure there's more to this then that.

So why don't you do that? I'm not looking to compete with you or to feed your ego.

[plushaeusrumpified]

So what, you want me to take your position? Fine. Meet me tomorrow night on the pitch and we'll see who's better on a broom.

[xanthous]

No, but I'd rather not be questioned on if I'm eligible for this job. If flying against you is all that will get you to stop, so be it.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I just wanna make sure these guys have a good, quality teacher like they deserve. Is that so bad? You're an educator, you should feel the same way. Only the person best qualified for the job should have the position, eh? I'm just not entirely convinced that it's you.