11 Smuppets; Text

[plushaeusrumpified]

Leave me here to die

33 sucks.

Out of all of the numbers out there, it's probably the worst number by far. I mean, what's even the point of it? 32 is better. 31 is better. 33 is absolutely pointless in its existence. And it's an odd number. Odd. Odd numbers suck, but 33 is the suckiest odd number out of all of them.

There's nothing even ironic about it. I can find irony in every other number. But not this one. It's like anti-irony in its most natural form.

We're wizards, we should be able to magically take this number out of existence.

Someone invent a spell for that.

Comments

[filter]

[plushaeusrumpified]

You're right. I do need a drink. But not because it's my birthday.

Because it's really not my birthday, I stopped having those when I turned 32.

[filter]

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

You is being silly. The drinks will be ready when you are.

[filter]

[plushaeusrumpified]

I guess I have time to come over for a little while.

[And he does show up a little while later, knocking on the door a couple of times.]

[action here on out]

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

Come in!

[Given the cold weather she's put one of her hot specials on the burner, a couple of goblets full of some deep royal purple liquid floating and rotating over the flame. The lady herself is seated by the desk, filling out student medical reports before looking up to see Bro, grinning widely.]

[Perma actioooon]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Bro steps into the room, eyes flicking over the surroundings, briefly taking in the sight of the goblets before his gaze turns to her. He offers her a small smile in return before tipping his hat.]

Evenin' ma'am.

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

Velcome sveethott. [Beams and stands, striding over and picking him up in a bearhug that may perhaps have his head shoved into her bosom poor guy.]

Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag!

[plushaeusrumpified]

[Whoa, whoa, whoa he was definitely not expecting that. He lets out a muffle sound as he's picked up and boobsquished, eyes shooting open wide. He can't even really hear what she says because he's too preoccupied with what's happening.]

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

[Sets him down gently and adjusts his hat for him, still grinning.]

Dot vas Deutsch for Happy Birthday. Come, de brews are nice and hot.

[Puts a hand at his back and leads him to the tea area to sit in one of the plush couches. Once he's settled she goes to her desk to fetch the goblets, extinguishing the flame with a flick of her wand before returning to Bro.]

Here ve go!

[Hands him a goblet which feels warm while the liquid is steaming hot.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[When she sets him down, he has to fix his shades too and he grumbles quietly, though his face is flushed red, proving that he's embarrassed more than anything.]

A little warning next time...

[It's fairly teasing, though, and he follows her over and takes a seat, watching as she retrieves the goblets. He reaches out and takes the goblet when she hands it to him.]

Thanks. What is this, anyway?

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

Eh, hyu iz a bik boy, hyu can handle hugs.

[Winks and blows on the top of the goblet, the steam sparking as it flutters. The drink itself will taste of warm spiced wine with a strangely creamy smooth after-taste.]

Chust a leetle sometink Hy made for de birthday customers back home. Vell, de vinter babies at least. Eet should varm hyu right to de bones und help hyu relax.

[plushaeusrumpified]

Yeah, yeah.

[He gives her a small smile at her first comment and shrugs. When she explains the drink, he just gives her a small nod.]

Bottom's up, then.

[He brings it up to his lips and takes a small sip of it. Oh damn, it's really good. He wasn't expecting it to be so good, but it is and he really likes it.]

Shit, I'd have a birthday every day if it meant having some of this.

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

[Sips from her drink and chuckles at Bro's response.]

Iz goot ja? My Mutter used to give de children dis in vinter for Yule - chust a small glass ov cawze. Quite a few pipple in my town like to have eet after makink loff in de vinter - iz perfect for curlink up in bed vit hyu lover, don't hyu tink?

[Surprisingly, she's not being salacious about this and is instead completely genuine, smiling happily as she keeps drinking.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

[It's unfortunate that he's taking a swallow of it when she says the last part, and he ends up choking on it. He pulls the cup away, coughing madly. He would've been fine, except her words brought images to his mind that he shouldn't have been having. No one is supposed to know, after all. And even though she isn't a mind reader, still thinking about it is kind of scary.]

Ah- fuck. Sorry. Yeah... I mean- Sure, if you're into that sappy kinda shit, y'know?

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

[Claps him on the back to stop him from choking and chuckles.]

More often than not sappy iz nice to indulge in, ja? Especially on cold nights like ve get in vinter.

[plushaeusrumpified]

I... yeah, I guess. [He's still recovering from the choking, coughing every now and then.] Maybe if I had this stuff all the time I'd be willing to indulge in a little sap every now and then.

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

Hy am happy to make hyu some every now und den, sveethott. [Chuckles.]

Dough eet doesn't brew vell in summer time for some reason or anodder. But no vorry, Mamma has odder drinks for dose hot summer nights. [SALACIOUS WINK.]

[plushaeusrumpified]

That'd be rad.

[He chuckles slightly at the wink and then takes another sip of the drink.]

Never heard of something that doesn't brew in the winter time, though.

[mammas_goot_to_hyu]

Hoh no, hyu brew dis vun a vinter in advance und den it's delightful vhen ready. De summer drinks hy make Hy can usually start de vinter before, but some ov dem can be done in de sam season. Iz all goot fun.