14 things that are horribly wrong with my life

[nunganunga_k_o]

[shabbily filtered away from teachers]
Mouths are puckering, boy entrancers are fluttering, and luuuuurve is in the air!

To get to the short and the short of it, as a public service Cas and I have decided to host a SNOGGING PARTY. It is this thing where you show up, grab a number and get snogging! Don't have a snoggee? WELL, you could prepare for a life all aloney on your owney and become a Buddhist monk, or if you look naff in orange you could meet one there! It will be fabby and marvy and also double cool with knobs on.

And because we know that some of you spend all of your days doing daft things like Arithmancy homework and have never used your gobs for anything other than shoveling food in them, we have provided a scale for you to research beforehand:

1 → holding hands
2 → arm around
3 → goodnight kiss
4 → kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath (What you need for this is a sad mate who's got a watch but no boyfriend.)
5 → open mouth kissing
6 → tongues
6.25 → nip libbling lip nibbling
6.5 → ear snogging
6.75 → neck nuzzling
7 → upper body fondling - outdoors
8 → upper body fondling - indoors (in bed)
9 → below waist activity (or bwa)
10 → the full monty

It will be on the 10th, but not NUMBER 10, if you catch my drift (and I think you do). Be there if you don't want to be as lonely as an elk.

Comments

[nunganunga_k_o]

Well, you were right about Ellis and Amelia, but very WRONG about Puck and Link.

But most of the other people on that list strike me as the 'practically wearing a chastity belt, not going to snog until they are in their 30s' types.

[selfhatred]

HEY, I'M WORKING ON KID AND MAKA, OKAY?
I GOT HER TO AGREE TO TALK TO HIM AGAIN AT LEAST.
THE OTHERS NEED WORKING ON.

[magichairbrush]

Billy and I don't need working on!

[selfhatred]

UH-HUH.
HAS HE SNOGGED YOU YET?

this icon forever

[magichairbrush]

Yes, we have!

I was at his house for most of winter break!

it's the only icon she needs to use for Karkat

[selfhatred]

WELL THAT'S TAKEN CARE OF.
HAS HE TAKEN YOU ON A DATE?
YOU KNOW. DINNER, A SHOW, THE WHOLE SHEBANG?
BECAUSE HOGSMEADE WEEKEND IS VALENTINE'S WEEKEND.
HE SHOULD DEFINITELY DO SOMETHING FOR YOU THEN.

Truth

[magichairbrush]

Yes, it is.
And... Not... Properly.

I don't have permission from my mother to go to Hogsmeade.

[selfhatred]

WELL THERE GOES MY NEXT SUGGESTION.
...MAYBE NOT.
HMM.

[magichairbrush]

What was your suggestion going to be?

[selfhatred]

I WAS GONNA SUGGEST HE SNEAKS YOU OUT.
I MEAN, IN A CASTLE THIS OLD THERE'S GOTTA BE SECRET ENTRANCES, RIGHT?
BUT NAH, THIS IS A BETTER PLAN.
NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING, I'LL SET IT UP.
CONSIDER IT A GIFT OR SOME SHIT.

[magichairbrush]

What are you planning, Karkat?

[nunganunga_k_o]

What, that violent stripey git who likes to give people black eyes and pick fights with that prat, Galen? If he fights as well as he snogs then perhaps, but he always looks like he has a broom up his arse.

None of them seem like they've ever heard the call of the horrrrrrrn.

[selfhatred]

HE'S NOT THAT BAD. IT'S MAREK WHO'S A FUCKING RETARD. HE PRESSED KID'S FUCKING BUTTONS AND THAT WAS THAT.
BUT I'LL AGREE ON THE BROOM UP HIS ARSE THING.
THEY'LL HEAR IT.
SOON.

[nunganunga_k_o]

Galen's a wanker, and he must be vair vair successful at pushing the buttons of even the Hitler Youth. He should get it as a job, really.

And don't go blowing anyone's horn for them, no one likes a goosegog.

[donutsanddestiny]

Crazy.

[nunganunga_k_o]

Hey, there is something to be said about saving yourself until you turn elderly!

Err.

Well, at least you'll have something to look forward to.

[donutsanddestiny]

Roxanne and I have kissed.

[nunganunga_k_o]

Ooo-er. What number?

[donutsanddestiny]

4.

[He just crosses it out a couple of times.]

It's none of your business. Forgetting I said anything.

[Yeah, someone is still shaken.]

[reportedly]

[She's just going to be over here blushing.]

[nunganunga_k_o]

Ahahah, you saucy minxes~

Now you've got to up the ante for Valentine's Day!

[donutsanddestiny]

Why is this so interesting to you?

[lookupforme]

At least go to six and a half.

[donutsanddestiny]

Cassie, I barely know you. This is even less your business.

[nunganunga_k_o]

Details, details. And is it so bad to want my good, housemate chum to have luck in lurrrve?