02 Ticks

[strideallknight]

hallefuckinglujah its april
in a couple months we can kiss this year good bye and thanks for all the fish
im pretty happy that i havent died this year either by my own hands or by my sisters
shes fucking insane ok
shes the queen of hearts so be careful with your heads
or vocal chords
or hands
shes not picky when it comes to severing body parts from your anatomy in violent ways all in the name of science and vengeance

ps jane crockers birthday is in a few days
april 13th
anybody got an idea for a place to hold a party
cant be in the gryffindor common room since shes got friends in other houses and shit
its also johns but i dont think hell be able to attend this year
ive already sent his present though so my best friend duty has been completed

Comments

[8lackwidow]

Well your sister certainly does sound like an interesting person.

[strideallknight]

hi professor serket
yeah well im not surprised shes like that since shes related to striders
shes in your divination class and i think its one of her best classes
sadly that subject is completely lost on me

[8lackwidow]

What's your sister's name then Mr Strider? Seeing as I lack the name Strider on my class lists, and I have quite a few talented girls that I teach.
Don't worry too much, it's a very particular skill that only the very few actually excel at.

[strideallknight]

rose lalonde

[8lackwidow]

Ah, Miss Lalonde. Yes, she is indeed a pleasure to have in class. It's good to see she has so many other interests outside of it though.
She has so many similarities to your mother, though I dou8t those are the words any daughter wants to hear.

[strideallknight]

maybe not now but eventually shell come to appreciate it when shes older
thats usually what happens right
id take it as a compliment personally

[seeringlight]

You're testing your luck. You're seeing how far you can provoke me before I actually snap.

This is all a very intricate game that you're trying to play. Yet you don't even realize the hole you are digging yourself.
Better watch yourself before you wreck yourself.

[strideallknight]

maybe thats what i want at this point
im masochistic that way i suppose
or would it be sadism + masochism rn

oh no i realize full well the hole im digging deeper and deeper down
im already a wreck so might as well go out with a bang
and if that means getting viciously mauled by my sister which will prove my point then i cant complain

[seeringlight]

What a scandalous affair. It would make great headlines in the future for when we are a bit older and struck fame. This is all theoretical, of course, but I'm sure we need some Wizarding gossip.

Is something wrong?

Also, what did you get for our dear friend? Or is that a secret?
I also recommend near the lake. It's nice enough weather to have it outside, and the lake is usually fairly nice. I would think it would make a lovely party spot. We can bring tables and chairs out.

[strideallknight]

ill be sure to be there with cane in hand to help give a good thwacking to the paparazzi
hell knows thats at least a two person job right there

of course not
why do you say that
everythings fine [Liar.]

nah its no secret
i went and ordered him a five tier betty crocker cake
the real gift was an autographed photo of that favorite actor of his
mconnohay
oh hey the lake works pretty well
hope the giant squid doesnt mind it
guess we can have bro talk to it and ask

[seeringlight]

A duo that would go down in history.

You're being more transparent than usual. Do you really think I'm going to take your word at face value?

He's going to equally hate and love you. I look forward to this with bated breath.

I'm sure the giant squid would love company. I mean, how often do we come out to really see it?
If I can host a larger Halloween party, than you'll be able to get this without too much hassle.
I would be more than happy to help organize it or contribute.

[strideallknight]

hell yeah

some days i hope you will

ill make sure youre in the room for me to read his letter aloud

true
yes good be my coconspirator

[There's a bit of a pause before Dave filters this next part to Rose. He has to get this off his chest, and Rose is literally the only person he thinks he can turn to at this point. His brief discussion with Dirk didn't really amount to much more than releasing some of the tension.]

look im just gonna bite the bullet
ive been pussyfooting around this whole fucking issue for so long i feel like im about to do something incredibly stupid and not be able to get myself out of it
not to mention im tired of it
is there somewhere private we can discuss this at

[seeringlight]

Meet me at the Quidditch pitch.

[strideallknight]

omw

[And here's the log!]

[stubbornskeptic]

[Aaah! Why is he being so nice to her?!]

Dave!
You don't have to throw me a party!

[strideallknight]

plz
a party has to happen
its your fucking birthday crocker god
what kind of friend doesnt throw a birthday party for a friend

[Not to mention hopefully take her mind off of Jake and Dirk...yeesh.]

[stubbornskeptic]

Well, I really do appreciate it, don't get me wrong!
I just feel badly making you go to the trouble...
As much as I like shindigs, if it's just for me I'd feel as if I was bothering someone or something!

[strideallknight]

nah its no trouble at all
i mean seriously
nobodys as good as you are at baking cakes but im pretty sure either me or the house elves can whip something up that still tastes good

[stubbornskeptic]

Well, I don't doubt that!
I just don't want you to feel, I don't know...
Obligated?

[strideallknight]

aint no trouble and neither is it an obligation
whoever wouldnt celebrate your birthday is an asshole i dont need to know
the only exception being people who dont know you of course

[stubbornskeptic]

You flatter me, sir. :B
I suppose it's been so long since I saw my dad that I've kind of forgotten how to feel special.
Even for a day.

[strideallknight]

yeah well
our fault too for not thinking about it until this year
luckily enough your birthdays on a saturday
im thinking itll start from after lunch to the dinner bell
that gives you a free morning and evening
if the weather holds up rose gave me the radical idea of hosting it out near the lake
if not i plan to pull a few strings and see about getting either a big classroom or the great hall

[stubbornskeptic]

Oh, you've really planned this, huh?
I don't suppose you'd let me help out any, hm?

[strideallknight]

absolutely not
just sit back and let us humble servants tend to the birthday princess

[stubbornskeptic]

[Oh well, might as well play along.]

I think you mean birthday heiress.

[candycrabapple]

OKAY, CAN I JUST POINT OUT THAT EVEN I THINK YOU'RE OVERREACTING? I'M NOT SAYING I LIKE OR EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT SHE DOES WITH HER TIME, BUT EVEN I DON'T THINK SHE'S THAT BAD. ANNOYING AND NEEDLESSLY VERBOSE ABOUT THINGS, BUT SHE'S NOT SOME FICTIONAL QUEEN WITH A DECAPITATION FETISH.

[strideallknight]

no man she literally threatened to remove my hands and vocal chords
shes obviously the queen of hearts
its the only logical explanation

[candycrabapple]

OR, SHE'S HEARD YOUR SHITTY RHYMES, AND WANTS TO GET RID OF ANY AND ALL POSSIBILITIES OF IT COMING OUT TO TORTURE THE WORLD FURTHER.

[strideallknight]

no rhymes that time and aside from which she makes poetry
so she has a countermeasure for that
anyway i called her cute for using a jake word
worst possible adjective i couldve ever used on her
i shouldve used adorable

[candycrabapple]

ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO SAY THINGS THAT WOULD PISS HER OFF WHILE TALKING TO OTHER PEOPLE NOW? IS THAT WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE?

[strideallknight]

that might indeed be whats happening here
its a sibling thing and more importantly a twin thing

[candycrabapple]

YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS MIGHT COME AS A SHOCK TO YOU. AND I MEAN A 'HE WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME' KIND OF SURPRISE. BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR WEIRD TWIN SHIT. BECAUSE IF SHE COMES AFTER ME FOR YOUR WEIRD SHIT, ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES ARE GOING OUT OF THE WINDOW. OR MAYBE JUST ALL OF YOUR RIGHT SHOES.

[toocoolforthis]

Dave, Dave, Dave.
You bring it upon yourself, you know.
Complete evisceration could be completely and easily avoided with some small changes on your part.

As for a party, I believe we could get Bro to contribute a classroom.
Outside may also be an option, if the weather allows for it.
Failing that, we take over the grand hall in a grandiose display.

[strideallknight]

i know
im highly masochistic that way
granted
i did make the mistake of calling her cute because she used a word id expect out of jake
but imo it was worth it

i figure if the weather holds up then outside would be nice
near the lake like rose suggested
we can get a classroom or the great hall as a contingency plan if its raining or something
im thinking the party can be held from after lunch to the dinner bell

[FILTERED]

hey
how you holding up

[toocoolforthis]

Yes, I will agree that it was entirely worth it, in that case.
I'll stand with you on that one.

Works for me. And you know I'll help with setup.
It's criminal, to make a girl bake her own birthday cake.

[FILTERED]
I'll manage.
This has been a long time coming, honestly.

[strideallknight]

as long as somebody will stand by me on that then i can face any challenge
any at all
even the potential for rose to gut me in the middle of the night and rip my eyeballs out of their sockets

my sentiments exactly
im seeing if bro can help out by setting up some kinda magical sound system or whatever to play music
i have no idea what her favorites are so if you could help with that id appreciate it

[FILTERED]
on the plus side you have some closure
on the other hand
well
ok in all seriousness i do know or have an idea of what its feeling like
and if you wanna talk about it ever
im here for you

[toocoolforthis]

Surely she wouldn't resort to such drastic measures.
I don't doubt if she wanted to gut you she would make the effort by the light of day.

I can find a thing or two.
Or many.
When it comes to throwing birthday parties, we will simply be the best there is.


[FILTERED]
I'll keep it in mind, lil bro.

wow i missed this post

[shitknickers]

Well bugger it is isnt it!
Im no good at throwing parties but do let me know if i can help.

[mo_cara]

sHe AiN't NeVeR cUt NoBoDy'S sHiT oFf In HeR hOuSe, YoU mUsT jUsT bE rEaL sPeCiAl, StRiDeR.
i'Ll ReMiNd HeR tO aIm FoR tHe NeCk NeXt TiMe.